Rudra And Riya Ch 04

Between the two of us, mother felt my brother was someone she had better control over. Someone she could influence or force to do her bidding. Soon she realized otherwise when she suggested that I see other men and marry. Rudra flew into a dark rage that shocked her into a stupefying silence. She did not know how possessive he was of me.

"She is mine. I will murder anyone who as much as looks at her. Do you understand that mother." His dark features gave me the chills and I saw mother nod in fright. "We are not kids mother, unaware of the consequences of our inclinations. But if you have a score to settle am sure there are authorities you can take this up with." He fixed her in his glare. "I love her ma, why can't you understand that?" He thundered with a helplessness that broke my heart. No one understood what we felt for each other. The fact that we were siblings made it impossible even for our mother to see beyond the physical aspect of our relationship. And if she could not understand our love then no one else ever could.

"I love her, ma, if you can't understand that, then no one can. I've never felt like a brother to her. I never got the chance to bond with her that way, when you palmed her over at birth. When she came back she was just a girl to me. I've never thought of her as a sister. I've loved her as long as I can remember, ma. But never as a brother. Why can't you understand that?" My brother almost broke down in tears.

My chin trembled as I looked through tears at him. My heart was breaking. I strode up to him, pulling him into my arms to alleviate the pain he felt. I wished I had never come into his life if that could save him from the pain he felt now because of me. Just the fact that I was the reason for all this misery in his life made me abhor myself.

"I'm sorry," my lips trembled, "I'm sorry for bringing you so much pain." I broke down.

I saw mother sit at the table holding her head in her hands. I felt sorry for her too. I wish I had never come back into their life again.

"I wish I had died in that accident and never come back. All I have brought both of you is pain." I sobbed.

He pulled my face up instantly. He swept my face, a startled expression on his face. Then he was kissing me, pulling me hard into his arms, his mouth crushing mine.

The next few days were the most difficult of our lives. All of us paid a price for our beliefs. Ma's price was bigger than ours. She tried to leave one day but Rudra didn't let her. She called us names in rage, but soon subsided into her usual bottomless silence.

I had been three months pregnant, but I hadn't told anyone. I did not know how ma would react to the news. Rudra and I had decided on not sharing a bed until things got calmer at home. We didn't want ma to think the only reason we were together was for lust. So I hadn't found an opportune time to share the news with Rudra either. Unlike my previous pregnancy, I hadn't felt any grave bouts of nausea. But today I almost felt inclined to tell Rudra when we both got home before I began to show.

"Hello," I spoke into the phone. "What time will you be back today?" I tried to ask casually.

"What's up?" He asked at once.

I knew he would grow suspicious because I hadn't called on his cell in almost two months.

"Nothing," I answered calmly. " I was just missing you," I said and made it sound convincing.

"I'll be home as soon as I can honey. I'm with a client who's a stickler for detail. She's a little difficult." He answered almost exhausted.

"Who is it?" I asked feeling a pang of jealousy, instantly reminded of the call he had received that day.

"No one you know," he answered clueless to my insecurities.

"I'd like to know. She sounds important." I snapped, regardless of my best intentions.

Then to my chagrin, I heard him guffaw.

I disconnected the phone in a huff.

He called once, twice, thrice. But I did not answer. Then he stopped. Probably getting busy with 'the stickler for detail.

I got up from the couch and stomped my way up into my room, my heart still feeling tiny prickles of jealousy. I felt restless and overwhelmed. Disoriented with the rush of emotions I felt I prepared myself a hot bath. I undressed and looked into the bathroom mirror at the tiny bump that had just recently started to show. The corners of my lips turned up, I was going to have another baby. His baby. Then a thought flashed through my mind and I felt my blood surge. I would give him a call and tell him just now over the phone and surprise the daylights out of him. 'No one you know.' Another pang of jealousy disoriented my usual calm self. Yes, I would call him just now. With that thought I rose myself from the bath and took a hurried step onto the tiled floor, splashing water everywhere.

When I came to, I found myself lying face down on the cold floor. I felt my stomach, the excruciating pain made my insides turn cold. In my hurry to call him, I had slipped on the wet tiles.

"Ma," I heard myself scream in agony curling into a fetal position. "Ma."

Then I heard footsteps and knew mother was on her way up.

"What ...?" Mother asked in surprise. "Are you hurt?"

I cried again with the pain that was splitting me in half. "My stomach. I'm ... I'm pregnant."

Ma looked stunned then sprang into action. She helped me up and into some clothes.

"We need to get you to a hospital."

I shook my head emphatically. "No."

"What no, you need to see a doctor," she snapped

"I can't go to a hospital mother." I looked into her eyes and saw realization descend upon them and my head fell in shame.

I felt the wetness between my legs. "I'm bleeding." I froze in shock.

Maybe mother had been right all along. Maybe that was the reason she was against us being together. Maybe God was punishing us. But none of that mattered anymore. I had lost a child and I would never be the same again. My presence would not bother anyone anymore. I had moved to Switzerland three months ago. I had alienated myself from him. I knew if I gave him enough time on his own he would find himself a wife. As for me, I had two precious memories of him I had brought back with myself. They were enough to last me a lifetime.

My mind flitted to that forsaken evening. Miscarriage. Such a simple word to explain an ordeal that still gave me nightmares. I had fallen on all fours in a puddle of blood and tissue. I had seen the tiny baby I had been carrying for three months in secret. He had been more mine than his father's. Rudra had been oblivious to its presence in this world before I had lost it like I had only concocted him in my dreams and not reality. I could still remember the shape of its tiny arms and legs, its tiny hands, the round head and the beating heart before it had stopped forever.

The shock of losing him had turned by soul cold and I couldn't bring myself to feel warmth again. I couldn't let Rudra console me, I couldn't tolerate his warm embrace when my baby was lying on the cold floor. I felt undeserving of this affection that my baby would never feel. I felt distraught. The sorrow turned me insane.

Rudra called me every now and then, fewer times now than he had in the beginning. I never answered the phone. But every time I missed him beyond endurance I hugged my children hard and felt a part of him in them give me the strength to bear this self-imposed exile.

Everyday right after the nanny arrived, I left for the university. By the time I came back in the evening I felt dead tired. After feeding the babies I climbed into bed and fell into a fitful sleep, before waking up to the same routine again. The routine kept me alive. I turned myself into an automaton until that is the weekend arrived and all my demons came knocking at my door.

Presently I got up from the coffee table to stand next to the crib by the window that overlooked a snow-capped mountain, the babies pulling and tugging at my blouse. I petted them, my mind drifting back to the time I was here the last time with Rudra when I was pregnant with them. Sometimes I missed him so much it felt like my heart would claw its way out of my bosom. Then the dreams would come waltzing in uninvited, the lucid wet dreams.

"I want you Riya," he would thunder then take me in all sorts of perverted ways. My pussy would throb and then my finger would find its way into my wetness. I would rub and tug at my clitoris, thinking of his engorged cock fucking me mercilessly. When that wouldn't get me off, I would push my fingers into my wet hole and finger fuck myself hard until I would jerk and twitch at my own ministrations and collapse exhausted into the mattress.

"Rudra," I whispered his name like he was standing next to me and instantly felt my eyes sting with tears. I bit my lip to keep my chin from trembling. He didn't even know where I was. I had resigned at the university and taken a one-way flight to Switzerland without any intentions of ever coming back. I had been so fragile of nerves that he had not even argued with me for fear that I might completely lose it if he aggravated me too much. He did not have my number so he could not trace me and I never received any of the WhatsApp calls he made me. And yet mother had never called me. At least one of us was happy with the turn of events. Placing a tab on my chain of thought, I brought myself to the present. Vansh was crying and I knew it was time for their bath.

I ran hot water in the tub then undressed the babies and placed them in the water. Both my children were fond of water. They splashed and gurgled and cooed and giggled and I giggled with them. For a brief time with them, I would forget about the misery in my life. Amidst the cries of their laughter, I would forget how much I missed their father. By the time they were done I was soaked to the bone myself, but I wasn't anywhere near taking a bath myself until I had put them down for a nap. I fed and clothed them then sang to them rocking their cradle until they drifted into soundless sleep.

I could hear my phone ringing while I was in the bath. I had a feeling it was probably Rudra so I did not feel too inclined to check to see who it was. I was worried that the way I missed him these days I would answer his call in a fit of weakness. Then somehow I knew my children would pay for my weakness. God would see to it that I was punished for my sins.

"Stop calling Rudra," I covered my ears under the shower when the phone rang a third time in a row.

But when it rang, again and again, I grew worried. Hurriedly I draped a towel around myself and ran on tiptoes to the bedroom to check my phone. I stood there staring at my mother calling on whatsapp. Mother had never called me and I knew something was not right.

"Hello?" I cleared my throat my heart thudding in my chest.

"Come home Riya." She cried distraught. "Please, come home, I beg you."

"What's wrong, ma?" I heard myself ask.

"He's had an accident."

"No," a hollow sound issued from my lungs. I began to tremble and my legs gave way.

"He's in a critical condition," she wailed. And he's asking for you and the children. Come home Riya. I'm sorry for what I've put you both through. Come home."

I have no memory of that time. All I remember is running into my mother's arms when I arrived at the hospital, before being ushered into the intensive care unit.

"Rudra." My heart ached painfully in my chest. There were tubes coming out of his nose and mouth. His entire head was wrapped in bandages except for his bruised eyes. I pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Rudra, wake up darling," I sobbed.

"Please, I know you can hear me," I whispered and felt him stir.

"Rudra," I called expectantly. "I've come back darling and I'll never leave you again ever. Please come back to me, darling. I'm sorry," I begged.

His eyes flickered open once but then he was drifting again.

"Rudra, please..." I wailed again. "Oh, God, please," I repeated over and over like a mad woman.

Ma began to cry too. " Rudra, I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry. Don't punish like this. Please, Rudra." She cried.

A week later he came out of his sleep. By then I had died a million times.

"Riya." He croaked.

"Yes, my darling." I swamped his face with countless kisses. "I'm here my darling. Please wake up now." My eyes brimmed with tears.

"Children?" He asked.

"They're home with mother."

"Hmm," he went back to sleep again.

It took him several weeks to recover completely from the concussion. The injury would leave a mark. In addition to the gash on his forehead, the new scar gave him bouts of severe headaches.

"You're going to rest like you've been asked to. Alright?" I chided him lovingly, snuggling next to him in bed.

"I want you," he growled.

"I know honey, but please let yourself recover, then you can do what you want to with me."

"I have recovered." He grew agitated at once.

"I know honey but..."

"No, I want you," lately he had started to lose his temper more often.

"Okay, okay." I murmured against his ear to calm him down. "Here." I lay on my back next to him, beginning to undress so he didn't have to. "Happy?" I smiled.

"Yes, very..." he said aggravated.

"Hmm, now don't work yourself into a flurry like last time. I'm scared of your headaches." I tried to make him understand and felt a hard answering thrust.

"Ummmmh," I moaned when his lips began to ravage my mouth and his cock began to work between my legs.

He forced his massive hard-on inside me forcing himself deeper into my wet pussy, until I felt he would tear me open with his desire. My arms went to embrace him against my soft boobs, while I lifted my legs around his waist to accommodate more of him inside me. I wanted to satisfy him. I heard mother scuffling in the other room taking care of the babies. I did not anymore go beserk, when this happened. She knew Rudra liked having sex with me at least three or four times a day and she gave us ample time to do just that. But now on several occasions, I had seen her watching us and on most occasions, she was so engrossed watching him fuck me that she didn't even notice me watching her. It was somehow a turn on. Someone watching, when he hard -fucked me. Sometimes I would moan lasciviously and peer at her through closed eyes to see the effect it had on her. She would watch mesmerized, her gaze transfixed to where we both lay conjoined. I snapped back to the present.

"Ahhhh," I groaned. He had picked up the pace and the entire bed was quaking beneath us. "Ahhhh Rudra," I moaned his name. " Ahhhhh, baby," I moaned lifting my hips to his every thrust. He pushed his arms under mine to grip my shoulders in a hard embrace, then opened an assault on my raw pussy.

"Ahhh Rudra, you're hurting me, honey," I said with ardor making him go crazy with lust. "You want to tear me open?" I lamented.

"Yes, I ought to for leaving me for so long." He snarled.

"Ahhhhh, Rudra, ummmm, I love you so much, you do know that don't you honey?"

He never answered like he used to before. Instead, his lovemaking would grow angry.

He began to jerk inside me and I felt his warm seed spray my insides and I felt my own orgasm hit me like a tornado.

I lurched against him until I drifted on my cloud to a peaceful place.

He slept on me still inside me when mother came in with his medicine.

"Rudra?" I called to wake him and began to slide from beneath him.

"No," he commanded and I looked at mother apologetically.

He lifted his torso to take the medicine from mother and swallowed his pills, while a little of the water he drank spilled all over my naked breasts. He gazed down at it, watching me with lustful eyes and I felt his cock twitch inside me. In no time at all, he would be hard again. A telltale smile broke across my face.

"What are you smiling at?" He asked annoyed, pushing himself inside me.

I moaned and saw mother's gaze travel to where he was slowly moving into me.

In a daze, she handed him his other pills and water. He wiped his face with the back of his hand when he was done, handed her the glass then sucked the water that had fallen into my cleavage.

"At least wait for mother to leave," I complained in shame.

He did not answer. His mouth pulled hard on my nipple stretching it beyond endurance then plopping it out of his mouth to watch it contract back to its usual size. He did this several times, watching mesmerized.

I saw mother leave then. I think she was still in that limbo where you don't really know whether you're attracted to something because you detest it or if you like it.

I closed my eyes. Rudra had started to move again inside me and I so loved him wanting me like this. The only thing I couldn't make sense of was his anger. I wondered if it was because he was in pain, or because he was bedridden or what. But what mattered most was that he still wanted me and that was enough for the moment.

"Rudra," I asked when he was resting against me. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay."

"Would you like to rest?"

"I am resting."

"Okay, so in that case, I'll go down and help ma in the kitchen," I suggested tentatively.

"No." He answered adamantly.

I chuckled. "I'll come back in a bit honey. Ma must be tired. Hmm?"

"No."

"Go, when I fall asleep." He added as an afterthought.