Chapter- 10
A week went by and when he didn't go to the house ma finally broke her silence and directly asked me about him.
"How is he doing?" She said in a low voice.
"He's okay ma." I replied equally uncomfortable discussing this with her.
"You know about Sid and I?"
I nodded. Not wanting to add anything to it.
"I think this is the best thing for everyone involved. I'm not doing this to hurt him....Will you explain it to him...please." She added.
"I know ma...I will try. You'll need to give him a little time."
"Yes, I know...I just miss him so much." She sniveled. "I love Sid, but I love him too, he's my son, my first born and I miss him."
Tears stung my eyes with the sadness in her voice. This couldn't be easy on her either. "Why don't you try calling him yourself ma? I know he'll like that."
"I have... he doesn't answer." She ended up sobbing.
"Don't worry ma, I'll talk to him." How could I tell her that every night he made a point to watch them in her bed and hear her talk about conceiving a baby from Sid. Sometimes he flew into a rage and in the aftermath fucked me hard, forgetting for a while that it wasn't ma that he was fucking.
Right now even I could not talk to him about her. I'd only have to trick him into going there. I knew he missed her too. I had heard him call out to her in his sleep.
"Ma is your back all right now?"
"Yes, mostly but sometimes it hurts like hell. Sid says it's because my of my breasts." She said earnestly.
"Maybe you could tell Rudra that you need to go visit the hospital for a check up and he'll need to be home to take care of the children. Is the nurse still coming to help you?"
"No, she isn't, ever since Sid moved in with me, we've let her go."
"Good then, I'll tell him today and you can plan this for tomorrow, but ma you'll have to tackle it from there on. But I know he misses you too. He's just upset about you and Sid."
"I miss him." She said. "He'll always be more important than anyone else for me."
I nodded and right away I gave Rudra a call.
"Hi, I hope you're not busy?"
"No, baby what is it?" He asked.
"Ma called, she needs to have a few X-rays done. She's facing some back issues. So you'll have to be with the kids tomorrow. Will that be possible?"
"Yes..." he said curtly. "Is that all?"
"Yes," my voice shook.
"Okay then I need to meet a client." He called off.
Instantly I called ma to let her know that he would be coming.
Ma was relieved. "Thank you Riya."
I was doing pretty well for the past month and I thought I could take care of the children myself now. But they were probably the only link ma had left now with Rudra and maybe for a while I'd have to let her keep them.
That night when Rudra came home and we were in bed he turned his phone screen on and began to view them in bed.
"Why do you do this to yourself Rudra?" I asked slowly.
"Because I can't stop myself. It drives me insane seeing her with someone else and yet it arouses me. Watching her fuck someone else arouses me." His eyes burned into mine.
It shook my soul to hear him say that. That's exactly how I felt too when I saw him with ma. Then suddenly I had the solution to their problem. All he needed to know was that Ma loved him more than Sid and that way he would stop feeling this burning jealously towards Sid.
When he left home the next morning, I immediately called ma to let her know how to fix the impasse they were at.
"He's a fool. He should already know that." Ma said exasperatedly. "He's my son, I'll always love him more than anyone else."
"Rudra I miss you baby," ma reiterated.
"Why?"
"Because you're my son, Rudra and I love you more than anything in this world."
"I don't want to hear anything. Just stay away from me. That's all I ask of you now."
"No, I will not. You cannot do this to me, punish me for being in love," she cried.
"I'm not doing this to you, you did this to yourself," he minced. "And why the hell are you still here, I thought you were supposed to go to the hospital?"
"Sid will come pick me in the afternoon."
"Then why have you called me early morning?" He scowled at her.
"Because we need to talk. I need you in my life even if you don't need me." Ma wiped the tears that streamed down her cheeks.
"For what? I think you've sorted yourself out pretty well." He spat.
"Why are you being so difficult Rudra? Don't you even see how much I love you." Her voice was filled with remorse. "I know I should've tackled things differently and I messed up. But don't cut yourself out of my life Rudra...please."
"Ma, I didn't come here for this. So stop bothering me. I told you I want to have nothing to do with you."
And yet every night without fail he watched her with Sid. I shook my head. Why were men so stubborn? Couldn't he see she loved him, just as much as he loved her? Why couldn't he get it that what she did was just her way of keeping the family from disintegrating? He was so jealous of Sid that he couldn't think past the jealousy.
"But I want you and unlike you I'm not ashamed to say so. I know you want me too, even if you're too much of a coward to say so yourself," her voice rose.