SAMBA - PART 1
(Reward, motivation and the sacrifices of wives and mothers)
The Preamble: - The usual applies here. All characters are fictional and over the age of 18.
This work is inspired the the stories 'BTSC' and 'Room 209' by the author 'klrxo'. Also thrown in are elements of the many mom/son stories I've read over the last 25 or so years.
It started out as my own spin on the above stories, but soon took on a life of its own. Too big for one single story, so split over a series.
*****
"Honestly Claire," sighed Mandy. "I just don't know what to do anymore. Mark's attitude has become so bad and his grades are really suffering. Nothing Dan or I say makes any difference. He's totally changed from the boy we knew, and I'm starting to worry about him and his future."
"I know exactly what you mean," Claire nodded. "Jim and I were having the same issues with Scott and had just about given up."
"That's why I wanted to speak to you. I knew you'd had troubles at home with Scott and that somehow, you'd turned things around. I've been hearing great things about how grown up and responsible he's become as well as his academic success. How the hell did you do that?"
"It's actually a lot easier than you'd think!" laughed Claire. "Listen, the answer is simple but at the same time it's something that needs careful guidance. I'm not the right person to help you but I know who can." Claire rummaged around in her bag and finding what she was after, she then leant over the table towards her friend.
Claire handed Mandy a gold embossed business card, on which was printed, 'SAMBA Academy' and at the bottom in smaller letters 'Dr S Dearlove' along with an email address and telephone number.
Mandy looked back to her friend, questioningly.
"SAMBA, that's 'Sons And Mothers Bonding Activities'. That's where I took Scott last year, after hearing about it from Jess at work. It's referral only so new customers need to be vouched for by a previous client."
Pausing to sip her coffee, Claire continued "It's an education programme for moms with sons like ours. The idea is you both go together, and relearn all the things we in society have forgotten about harmonious mother and son relationships. The founder and chief instructor, Dr Dearlove is an incredible psychologist who understands the mom and son dynamic like no one else."
"You have my attention," replied Mandy. "So how exactly does it work?"
"Okay, it might all sound crazy at first but the important thing is that you approach it with an entirely open mind, and remember this is all about doing your best as a mother, which means whatever it takes for the good of your son."
"Go on."
"Well, the academy focuses on reward and motivational techniques. That's all pretty basic stuff of course, but this is where Dr Dearlove's research comes in. She's recognised that as our boys grow up, barriers form between us. It happens so slowly that we are hardly aware of it happening. They start to notice us as women and that confuses them, while we start to notice them as becoming men and that interferes with our own natural maternal instincts."
"That's true enough. I don't know how it all happened so fast."
"Exactly, and where you once showered him with love and affection, hugging and kissing him, now that's being withdrawn. He feels rejected, even if he can't articulate that feeling. He still yearns for his mother's touch but she won't allow it."
"But that's partly because I've sometimes seen the way he's looked at my boobs and butt -"
"And there's absolutely nothing wrong with him doing that," Claire interrupted. "He's starting to get curious about the opposite sex and you are the closest example that he has of that. Of course, he has these strong feelings which are starting to consume him, but by blanking him this way you are making him associate negative thoughts with his growing sex drive."
"What about Dan? Isn't it a father's job to step in here?"
"No, no, no. That's a classic mistake. Dads are great for some things like buying a first beer, but nobody understands a boy's feelings like his own mom. Besides, you would also be neglecting your own feelings which are the flip side of your present predicament. Your love Mark and see some of Dan in there, you don't want to feel restrained about how and when you can touch your boy or how you interact with him."
"He is a good-looking boy, for sure," Admitted Mandy.
"You see, you know I'm right. I think you know what I'm saying has some truth to it. Take my advice and call Dr Dearlove. Honestly Mandy, I can't recommend her highly enough."
*****
One week later, after another blazing argument and Mark doing his usual trick of storming off to who knows where, Mandy was at the end of her tether.
Nursing a vodka soda as she sat thinking on the couch, she recalled the conversation last week at the coffee shop. Digging around in her bag she found the white and gold business card. Picking up her cell phone she dialled the number for the SAMBA Academy.
"Selena Dearlove," answered the woman on the other end of the line, a voice that sounded neither young or old. Perhaps a mom of Mandy's own age.
"Hi, my name is Mandy Wheeler, I'm calling about SAMBA."
"Oh? May I ask who gave you this number?" Dearlove replied cautiously.
"My friend Claire Reece said you helped her and her son out last year."
"Claire! Of course, I remember her and Scott!" Dr Dearlove's tone warmed. "I take it she's referring my services to you, being in a similar situation?"
"Exactly," Mandy answered and proceeded to fill Dr Dearlove in on all the details she had shared with Claire the week before.
"I think Claire is right and I can indeed help you and your son. Obviously, I'll need to contact Claire before we go any further as I'm sure she explained to you that we are very selective with our clients. I'll also check on our calendar and see when it might be possible to book you in. I'll call you back in the next few days, is that alright?"
"Yes, that's great."
"Excellent! Speak to you soon then. Goodbye Mrs Wheeler."
*****
True to her word Dr Dearlove called back a few days later.