Secret Desires On A Snowy Night

This is a submission for

Literotica Winter Holidays Story Contest 2024

. Please consider leaving a vote after you've finished reading!

Contains wholesome, loving mother/daughter incest.

It's a slow-burn, to reflect the cozy holiday atmosphere. But rest assured, it gets plenty spicy by the end!

*

Sadie tapped her foot, nervously watching the gray sky through the airport's massive floor-to-ceiling windows. Fat white flakes of snow blew past the glass, swirling on strong storm winds. Already, drifts several inches deep were piling up on the runway. Sadie had always been a nervous woman. She fretted about work, about keeping the house clean, about her health, about money...

...but more than anything else, she fretted about her daughter.

Sadie hadn't seen Ramona in over four months. Aside from a few sparse text conversations with her daughter, they hadn't talked at all since

that night.

Ramona was away for her first year at college, attending a prestigious private university on a dance scholarship, and Sadie knew almost nothing about what her daughter was up to.

The memory of what happened between her and Ramona made Sadie's whole body burn with shame. Her lips tingled, and she felt the ghostly sensation of a remembered touch on her shoulders. She remembered how the starlight had poured over Ramona, how pretty she'd looked, how her slender graceful body had trembled in Sadie's arms as they...

No.

Sadie forced herself not to think about it. Her daughter was coming home for winter break. They were going to be a normal parent and child again. Thinking and obsessing over Ramona's graduation party wouldn't help.

Sadie started to sweat underneath her coat. In addition to naturally being a nervous wreck, she had a tendency to sweat profusely when she got wrapped up in her thoughts. She stripped out of her coat, standing in the middle of a crowded terminal in cutoff shorts and a tank top, her body glistening as if she were out on the beach, not cooped up in an airport in the middle of December.

Finally, mercifully, she saw a plane descend. It taxied for what seemed like forever before it pulled up to the gate. Agonizing minutes passed. Sadie fanned herself with the book she was carrying. By now her clothes were soaked.

It made her cheeks burn to think of Ramona seeing her like this.

The gate opened. A few passengers poured out. Ramona tried to pose in a way that looked natural, resting her hands on her hips, coat slung over her shoulder. But she couldn't help shifting her weight from foot to foot, nervously glancing at each passenger's face, waiting to see that one familiar, beautiful girl...

When Ramona did step out, she looked tired and frazzled.

Even like that, though, she took Sadie's breath away.

Like her mother, Ramona was tall. But where Sadie's figure was full and maybe slightly plump, Ramona had always been willowy and lightly muscled, the body of a dancer. Her hair was platinum blonde, tied back today in a quick messy ponytail. She wore leggings that highlighted the graceful curves of her calves and the powerful slopes of her thighs, and her upper body was cocooned in a fluffy hoodie with her university's name on it.

Ramona looked around for a second. Then her eyes, two pale blue chips of ice, locked on Sadie's.

And just like that, Sadie was replaying that night last August all over again.

Ramona's graduation party. It had come late in the summer, since all her friends were having parties too. Sadie had pulled out all the stops. How could she not? Her baby was leaving home soon, and Sadie wouldn't have many chances to spoil her in the coming months. Already, her heart was aching at the thought of not having Ramona around. She'd been a single mom since Ramona was born, and her baby had always been the center of her world. Ramona's first dance recitals, her phase where she was obsessed with wolves, her moody middle-school years, her heartbreaks, her triumphs... all of it had brought so much joy to Sadie's life that she couldn't imagine living without it.

So that humid August night, Sadie was doing her best to hold back tears as Ramona's friends left one-by-one. After the chaos of the party, the backyard was a peaceful, quiet glen. Sadie had hung up dozens of strands of lights, and they made everything feel enchanted, like this was a moment made for Ramona and her alone.

Ramona's bluetooth speaker was still playing a soft romantic song.

Sadie was trying to hold back her tears. But she wasn't succeeding. One by one, they slipped down her face. She tried to hide them by looking down.

But as she stared at the ground, she caught a glimpse of her daughter's bare feet atop the grass. She looked up to see Ramona standing in front of her. Her daughter had two wet streaks trailing down from her own eyes.

Sadie sniffled. "Sorry, baby, I..."

Ramona just held up her hand. "Dance with me?"

Sadie took it, her daughter's slender, warm fingers sliding over hers. Ramona led, her other hand finding Sadie's shoulder. Sadie put her hands on her daughter's waist. She let Ramona spin her over the grass, feeling warm air in her hair, smelling the mixed scents of her daughter's sweat and her perfume.

And as they danced, something came alive in her.

Ramona's movements were subtle, confident. As Sadie spun with her daughter, she felt more and more aware of her body. Of her own heartbeat thudding in her chest. Of Ramona's soft hands holding her. Of her daughter's slender, muscled figure in her own hands. She felt Ramona's love too, a strange invisible chord winding through her.

She needed her daughter. She needed her so badly.

They slowed. Ramona rested her head on her mom's shoulder.

"I love you, mama," she whispered. "I'll be thinking about you. Every day."

She lifted her head. Sadie looked into her daughter's eyes, seeing depths in those sapphire pools that she'd never realized were there.

...and then it happened.

Sadie would never be able to explain why she did it. But the sheer beauty of Ramona overwhelmed her. Holding her daughter, feeling Ramona's chest on hers, her daughter's heartbeat reverberating through both their bodies, Sadie felt a deep pull toward her daughter.

And so she leaned in, and she kissed her.

But it was not a mother's kiss. Her lips met Ramona's with a sudden, heavy passion. It was the kiss of a desperate woman, clinging to the one thing she loved more than anything. It was a kiss that said very clearly

"I want you."

Ramona had held the kiss. For a second, she'd pulled herself against Sadie's body.

But then she'd pulled away, her cheeks pale. Sadie's mouth worked silently, stammering out an apology.

"W-wait. Baby, I... s-sorry, I think I just... I meant to..."

Ramona said nothing. She turned silently on her heel and walked back into the house, as if she were in a trance.

The two of them hadn't properly spoken since.

*

I rest my face up against the cold glass of the airplane window. Outside, snow is coming down like crazy. I've always loved winter. It's the most peaceful season, one where I don't feel so pressured to get out and run or socialize everyday. I can stay in with a good TV show and a cup of tea, maybe call a friend or two, and just laze around.

But I don't feel peaceful

at all

today.

I know she's waiting for me. Even though my mom and I haven't been talking for four months, I agreed to come back and spend winter break with her.

I've been dreading this day for weeks.

Slowly, the people around me file out. I have a crazy wish to just stay on the plane, to let it take me away to some random place. That way I won't have to face my mom.

I won't have to think about how much of a disgusting freak I am.

Despite the cold glass against my forehead, my body grows hot underneath my hoodie. I still remember that moment at my graduation party four months ago. The feeling of my mom holding me, the way all the nervousness I felt about going away to college just faded away while I was in her arms. The way she danced like her body knew mine perfectly.

The kiss.

It wasn't my first. But it

felt

like my first. I'd never had a kiss pull the breath right out of my lungs, leaving me desperate to taste more. I wanted to drown in her kisses forever.

But she's my

mom.

The thought of that kiss makes me want to throw up. Not because I didn't like it. But because I'm desperate to feel it again, even now.

My mom's done so much for me. She always believed in me, putting her life on hold so she could support me at dance competitions all across the country, staying up and talking to me during my moody moments, cooking for me, loving me...

She deserves better than a perverted freak like me. So this Christmas, I'm going to be her normal daughter again.

I'll be the daughter she deserves.

That thought gives me a bit of strength. I get up from my seat, grab my stuff, and make my way down the crowded exit ramp. A crowd of people shuffle around me, guiding me out to the terminal. I keep my eyes on the ground. But as I step out into the airport, I raise my eyes and look for my mom.

We see each other almost immediately.

And then all those feelings come rushing right back to me.

She looks gorgeous, standing by herself at the far end of the crowded terminal. Her coat is folded up over her shoulder, and the sweat makes her skin glisten. I've always been jealous of her fuller figure, even though I'm proud of the way I look. Her hair is darker than mine, sandy, and she's cut it short since I last saw her. She's wearing her glasses, which I always thought gave her a sweet, librarian-ish look. And even though it's the middle of winter, she's dressed in summer clothes because she overheats too easily.

I want to run to her so badly, to throw my arms around her and let her carry me out of here.

But I don't deserve that. So instead, I shuffle up to her, my eyes fixed on a point slightly past her, so that I'm not looking directly into her face.

"Hey, mama," I say.

"Ramona." Her voice is stilted. There's none of the love I remember. I flinch. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah. You too."

"Do you need help carrying your things?"

I have only a single duffle bag. I shake my head.

"Then let's go. I parked nearby," my mom says.

"Cool."

She turns. I follow her.

And like total strangers, we head outside together.

*

Sadie couldn't pretend to be surprised.

Ramona seemed like she hardly wanted to be here. And how could Sadie blame her? Ramona was sharing a car with the woman who had forced a kiss on her. She was probably crawling in her skin, thinking about how her own mother had taken advantage of a tender moment between them. She was probably wondering if Sadie would do it again.

Traffic on the highway was terrible. The asphalt was slick with ice and a layer of black slush. More pure white snow came pouring down from a gray sky. Sadie had the heat up, making her sweat worse than ever. She could feel it beading on her forehead, running down her nose. Her chest and stomach grew slick beneath her clothes, and her armpits and the soles of her feet felt slippery.

She kept glancing over at Ramona, trying to think of something to say. The silence in the car was even more oppressive than the sweltering heat.

Sadie worked her tongue around her mouth.

Just talk to her!

she begged herself.

Say anything!

But nothing was coming. Guilt had sprouted in her chest and wound its vines around her throat, choking her.

Ramona was sitting with her knees tucked up against her chest, forehead resting on the glass.

Her pale blue eyes flicked toward Sadie, and she caught a glimpse of her mom blatantly staring at her.

Fiery heat crept into Ramona's cheeks.

She had to say something, or the rest of the car ride would be completely unbearable.

"You... l-look really pretty today, baby," Sadie stammered.

She immediately wanted to clamp her hands over her own mouth. Of all the things to say, she had to sputter out a creepy compliment! Now Ramona must think of her as a total, overbearing

creep...

But to Sadie's surprise, Ramona laughed. "No I don't, mama. I haven't slept in like... twenty-four hours."

"Oh, sweetie... is everything alright?" Before she could stop herself Sadie reached out and gently touched her daughter's arm. It was a mother's instinct. A part of her was terrified that Ramona would pull away. But she didn't.

"I'm fine," Ramona said. "I was just... excited to be back. And to see you again." She gave Sadie a small, furtive smile.

Sadie's heart nearly melted in her chest. She wiped the sweat from her face with her sleeve and returned her baby's smile.

"I was excited to see you too. I..."

The words were on her lips. An apology. An acknowledgment of what had happened between her and her daughter. But she swallowed them. Ramona was talking to her! Sadie couldn't bring herself to break this tender, fragile moment.

"...I do think you're really cute, sweetie. I mean that," she said lamely.

"Aww. Thanks, mom."

Ramona moved her arm. Again, Sadie felt a fluttering jolt of fear, worried her daughter would pull away. But instead, she slipped her hand into Sadie's, not caring about how moist Sadie's palm was, and gave it a squeeze.

A deep tension inside of Sadie melted away. She hadn't lost Ramona. Things felt like they used to. She squeezed Ramona's hand back, as if desperately begging her daughter to remain by her side forever.

Both women averted their eyes from each other. Sadie could feel a fiery blush creeping through her cheeks. She thought she caught a glimpse of pink on Ramona's face as well.

Sadie stared out the window. Traffic moved along sluggishly, the red taillights of the cars forming a weird sort of festive display against the gray, snowy sky. Sadie drove one-handed. She didn't want to let go of Ramona's hand.

"You looked really cute too," Ramona said, barely above a whisper.

Sadie's heart fluttered. "O-oh! Thanks, sweetie. I mean, you know I don't. I'm a mess."

Ramona grinned. "You're nervous, huh?"

"Maybe a little."

"Because of me?" Ramona asked.

"It's just... it's been a while, baby. There's so much I want to talk to you about. I don't know where to start."

"You could ask me about school," Ramona said. "There's so much I haven't told you yet."

Sadie's hand relaxed in her daughter's grip a little. "Tell me everything," she said.

And Ramona did.

She started with her first week, meeting her roommate, the awkwardness of adjusting to living with a stranger sleeping in the bunk over her. The stress of classes, all the petty drama of being a member of the school's dance program. Deciding to rush a sorority. Feeling lonely and overstimulated at the same time. Eating terrible food. Getting invited to another house's winter formal out of the blue.

"There's this girl on my dance team. She's been pretty flirty with me. And she was dropping hints, so..." Ramona trailed off.

Sadie tried to ignore the spike of jealousy that drove itself into her heart at her daughter's words. Ramona had come out as a lesbian to her when she was thirteen, and Sadie had been delighted. She'd held Ramona's hand and let her cry on her shoulder after her first breakup, had done some pretty heavy research online to educate her daughter about how to have safe sex with another woman, and had taken dozens upon dozens of photos of Ramona with her junior-year girlfriend before they went to prom together. Her daughter's love life had always been a source of joy for her.

But now here she was, stewing like a jilted lover. For her own

daughter

.

Sadie felt sick. The awkward, heavy silence stretched over the car again.

"Well... that's good! I'm glad you've got someone to... to spend time with."

Ramona shrugged. "I guess, yeah. I don't know if things are gonna go anywhere between us."

"Oh?" Sadie tried to keep the hopeful note out of her voice.

Ramona was back to looking out the window. "She's a nice girl. But... I dunno. I'm really busy. Still not sure what I want."

"Right. Of course. Take your time, baby. You'll find the one who's right for you."

"Mmm. Yeah. I hope..."

***

I already know who I want.

That's the first thing that pops into my head. The thought is so sudden that it almost forces its way past my lips. But I bite it back, swallowing the words like a shot of bitter, strong alcohol.

It feels so good to have my mom talking to me again. When I'm around her, it's like all the emotional gunk inside of me suddenly makes sense. After my first breakup, when I genuinely felt like the world was ending around me, she held me and whispered into my ear and made the world feel right again. And now all the stress of college is just fading out of my mind. She genuinely gets me in a way none of the other friends I've made do.

I can't believe I haven't talked to her for four months...

But after just half an hour together, I feel so much better. I should never have cut her off.

I try to admire my mom without making it obvious that that's what I'm doing. She looks so soft and cuddly in her summertime clothes. Her tongue runs over her plump ruby-red lips. A tiny shiver runs through my body as I remember how they felt pressed against mine.

Oh God. I'm doing it

again.

Why can't I be normal around her? We're just talking! It feels so right, just chatting with her like a normal mother and daughter. But these thoughts won't leave me alone...

Should I just tell her?

She's my mom. She'll understand, right? I'm sure it's not

that

uncommon for girls my age to get weird feelings like this. Like, my mom's been the closest person to me for my entire life. I

love

her. Is it that weird that my body wants her in the

other

way too?

But I remember the look of horror on her face when we kissed. She was shocked, probably disgusted.

I can't put her through that again. I force myself to swallow my words.

My hand is shaking. I've never been the type to sweat when I'm nervous. But I've got my other tells.

My mom looks over. "Baby? Everything okay?"

She looks at me with genuine, motherly concern. Oh my God, she's so beautiful.

I don't have to force a smile. "Y-yeah. It is, mom. I promise."

When we get home, the car barely makes it up the driveway. The snow has piled up almost an entire foot, and more just keeps coming down. The wind has blown it into white drift's against the house's walls, and the trees around us are heavy with icicles and powder. My mom stops the car. Her hand lingers in mine for a moment.

I don't want to let her let go. But I can't keep being needy like this. I force myself to tug my hand from her grip.

"Wow," I say to break the tension. "It's really coming down, huh?"

My mom looks out at the weather and nods. "It came out of nowhere, too. But don't worry. I stocked up on food. Even if we get snowed in, we won't starve." She winks.

"Yeah? What kind of food are we talking about?"

"Oh, nothing special. Just plenty of frozen meatlover's pizzas. Chicken tenders. Cheese balls. And a few gallons of ice cream." She winks. Those are all of my absolute favorite comfort foods.

"Mom. I love you." The words gush right out of me.

My mom tilts her head down, looking very pleased. "Baby, I wouldn't bring you home and

not

stock up on all your favorites."