Continuing the story of my holiday in the Caribbean. My brother and I had 'exchanged' partners for the night with Tom and Lesilia, and this very morning I had received an exciting offer from my old friend Sophie. I could hardly wait for more, lots more. But first, unfortunately, Richard and I had a duty call to make, to a very interesting relative.
Alas no Tom in this chapter, but Richard gets some unexpected pleasure of the sexual kind, while I, understandably, declined!
Chapter 9: Uncle Perv of Bequia
The ferry, aptly named DevilCat was fast and violent and at twelve we arrived on the picturesque island of Bequia, shaken but thirsty or, as my brother put it, shaken but not stirred! This remote picturesque island is the resort of the insanely rich, and if you possess billions you are required to own a villa here.
Richard's Uncle Norman was not a billionaire by any means but he had been in sugar and was now partly retired. Richard had already briefed him that he was still unwed, but he seemed equally pleased to greet me instead, and indeed spent most of the afternoon talking to my breasts. We had never met before and Richard had painted a pretty dismal picture of his father's younger brother. For some reason they didn't really get on, I think there was some bad blood in a previous generation, and inevitably a woman was involved in their private war. I found Norman to be the opposite, he was in his early forties, very attractive and debonair, the perfect host and the complete Casanova. If I had arrived alone I had little doubt which room I would have been invited into to at a very early stage!
The expansive single storey house sprawled over the surface of a hill with views to all points of the compass, the blue Caribbean to the west, the grey Atlantic rollers to the east, and the numerous rocky islands known as the Grenadines to the north and south.
The vast kitchen alone was twice as large as my little Surrey home, and in one corner of it almost unnoticed he introduced Elena, his new Russian wife. The tiny slip of a girl was busying herself at the stove in an oversized pink apron. With curly brunette hair down to her waist she looked barely out of her teens and spoke little English.
"At least she knows all the bedroom words," laughed Norman, "And soon the cooking will get better when Elena learns some English recipes!" He reached around me making her squeal as he pinched her bum. "I wonder what she's burning for us today?"
"How did you meet her?" I asked, chewing on some strange nut as we all migrated out on to a shaded patio clutching a glass of bubbly.
Norman grinned, "Found her on the Internet back in March, married her in May."
Richard put on one of his shocked looks, "Just like that, without seeing her first?"
"Of course not, I checked her out first, flew to some horrid place called Kaliningrad. Her picture didn't do her credit though. Look, I'll show you."
From his wallet he produced a creased advert with a photo of a rather plain girl and the inscription
'Elena, 23, seeking American or English husband in exchange for total love. Ref: Elena DK441.'
"I suppose the 'total' bit was what did the trick?" I raised my brows with a smile.
"Exactly," he grinned. Elena was smiling but hardly spoke, probably due to the language barrier, but I could see why Norman was smitten. I suspected that under that large apron there lurked the type of body that most men lust after.
He turned his back on her and whispered, "Actually she wasn't originally my first choice, I interviewed three others."
"So what attracted you to Elena then?" I asked, holding out my glass for a refill.
"She was the best in the sack," he laughed, dropping the Veuve Clicquot back into the ice with a loud clang.
I looked aghast, "You mean you slept with them all first?"
"Bloody right I did! I was paying the agency a fortune, I wanted to be sure. I think I got my money's worth though!"
"What about the ones you turned down?" asked Richard.
"Oh, I gave them a good tip," laughed Norman, "Plus their fee of course!"
Richard seemed a little embarrassed by the subject and accepted Elena's request to show him the new vegetable garden she had started to create, fortunately he had picked up a smattering of Russian from his time spent in various Baltic ports.
Norman called me over to a telescope mounted at the corner of the patio, and focussed it on the neighbouring island.
"Look through there Susan, that's Mustique, where Princess Margaret used to live."
A whole chunk of rocky mass filled the screen, all I could see was a blur. He leaned against my back and adjusted the sight. I chilled at the contact, assuming the apparatus had been intentionally left out of focus.
"Look to the right, see the four tall palms all together?" I nodded even though I couldn't see them, I wanted to get this over with. "The house behind is where Mick Jagger lives, sometimes when the wind is right you can just about hear some music." I really like the Stones, I saw them at Twickenham last year and that Ronnie Wood is a star!
I tactfully moved away and, with relief, we moved back to the table and I asked the question that had been plaguing me for the last few days.
"Norman, can I ask you something?"
Condescendingly he took my hand, "Of course you may my dear, any secret of mine is yours, as is any of yours, mine."
I quickly pulled away, suddenly feeling nauseous, I was beginning to see why Richard disliked the guy. I took a big gulp of my drink and continued.
"Assuming you know very well what goes on at Young Island, why did you book Rich and his fiancée in there?"
"Ah ha, so you do know about the place, I did wonder."
"I could hardly miss it. I don't think Rich has cottoned on fully though."
"Susan, if you had met Richard's father you would know why. George was a bloody bore, never made any decisions of his own, and he was totally hopeless with the ladies. No wonder two wives left him. Like father, like son, they are peas in a pod those two."
From high above the sprawling gardens we watched as Elena took Richard's hand, leading him toward her little plot.
"What does this have to do with Richard's wedding?"
Norman turned back to me, "I never had a son of my own Susan, just two daughters who fled to Europe as soon as they could, so I sort of took Richard under my wing, although we are thousands of miles apart. I could see him becoming more and more like his father and was amazed to hear he had actually got a girl to agree to marry him. So I gave them the honeymoon."
I laughed, "You are not the only one who was surprised! I'm afraid I didn't give it much mileage."
"Me neither. I met her once and could see she was easily out of his league. Perhaps you can now see why I suggested Young Island, I thought if they came out to a place like that they might mix it with some fun people, he would let his hair down and they might just have a bit of a chance. Instead he brought you!"
I wondered what his reaction would be if knew Richard had already let his hair down in a hammock, with me!
Another thought occurred to me. "Did you used to go there at all Norman?"
"What? Young Island?"
"Yes."
He laughed loudly, "Oh yes, I went there a lot, usually with Judy, my ex. She was nowhere as keen as me, that's why we eventually broke up. But for a while we did have a good time and met lots of nice people. Strange coincidence you being here though, the last woman I slept with on that island was also called Susan."
"Everyone calls me Sue now, Norman."
Elena was pointing out some new planting, still gripping Richard's hand, and clearly in animated conversation with him. For a fleeting moment they looked the perfect couple, even though there was at least a foot height in difference between them.
