If my Dad were to have his IQ tested he would probably be a genius. That's not to brag, because other than his knowledge of his work, his is as ignorant as a box of rocks. My Mom told me once that he had to buy a new car because he thought the little red 'oil' light on the dash of his car meant everything was okay. Very challenged in the common sense area. But at work he is one of the top men in he is field.
But as I found out, he was also challenged in the sexual nature, habits, and practices of most humans, which unfortunately for her, included my Mother. I can't be sure, but from all outward signs the only reason Dad got married was because that was what was expected. Then to make matters worse, he took a new job assignment six months ago where he spends twelve to eighteen hours a night at work. I think this is when Mom finally broke down.
I had gone out with my girl friend on Friday night. Dad of course had already taken off for his nightly lab activities. I told Mom that I would see her later. Her comment about hoping I had a good time was lost on me as a casual remark at the time. As it turned out, it wasn't as great of a time as I would have liked. My girl friend and I went to dinner and a movie, then to a club for drinks. My girl friend seemed a little standoffish and I didn't understand why until I was pushing to get laid and she told me she was on the rag. She practically exploded when I told her a blow job would be okay with me. I got back to the house about eleven o'clock not sure if we would still be dating after the fight we had.
"Hi, Kev. You're home early. Come in and sit with me," Mom said.
Between the glassy eyes, the smell of alcohol, her slurred speech and the fact Mom was pouring herself another one, it wasn't hard to figure Mom was pretty well drunk.
"Can I get you a beer," she asks from behind the bar in the family room.
"Sure, I could use one," I reply.
Mom hands me the beer and sits on the end of the couch from me, bringing one of her legs up underneath her.
"Rough night?" she asks.
"It just didn't go as I would have liked it too. We ended up in a big fight and I'm not sure we'll be seeing each other anymore."
"That's a shame. She seemed like a nice girl. What was the fight about?"
"You know, just differences in opinions I guess," I tell her trying to sidestep the real basis for the fight.
"She wouldn't put out for you, huh?" Mom slurs looking me straight in the eye.
"Wellβ¦pretty much," I reply not at all feeling well about having this discussion with my Mom.
"Seems the two of you have been going out for about three months now. Looks like by now she would give it to you. Lord knows there are plenty of times I dream of having a man around that wanted to have sex with me," my drunken Mother confides.
"We've had sex before. It's just tonight she couldn't or wouldn't. It's kind of complicated."
"Well I'm glad at least someone in this house has gotten laid in awhile. What do you mean she couldn't or wouldn't?" Mom asks pressing the issue.
I'm looking at my Mom and she has not taken her eyes off me since she sat down. "Mom, I'm not sure I'm comfortable talking with you about this," I tell her and can feel myself blush at the statement.
"Kevin, for God's sake. You're nineteen years old. A man in every sense of the word. I honestly don't see why we can't have an open and frank conversation about sex. I'd tell you about my sex life but I'm sure it would just put you to sleep. Now I want to know. Maybe I can help and then you'll be able to patch things up with your girl," Mom insists.
What the hell, she probably won't remember this in the morning anyway. "Well I wanted to do it. I kept hinting and teasing and everything that had worked before. She seemed to be in a mood. She finally tells me she's on the rag and doesn't want to do it," I explain. Mom sits quietly sipping her drink and nodding her understanding.
"Go on."
"Well half joking half serious I told her she could just give me a blow job. It got real nasty after that. We had to leave the club and she basically yelled and screamed at me the whole way to her house. The last thing she said was that she never wanted to see me, hear from me, or think of me again."
"So let me get this straight. She's on the rag and has a horny stud on her hands and won't at least suck him off?" Mom paraphrases.
"I guess that would sum it up," I tell her.
"That little bitch," Mom mutters.
I bust out laughing and Mom smiles and looks at me kind of funny. "What's so hilarious?"
"I was just thinking of all the things I would've liked to have said and the names I would have liked to have called her during our fight. But what you said is exactly what I said right before she told me she never wanted anything to do with me again."
"Hell it would serve her right never to get the honor of taking care of you again, the fucking cunt," Mom blasts with anger. "I'm sorry, it just pisses me off to think that these young girls are so manipulative and not at all concerned about taking care of their man. If I were your girl friend you wouldn't have had to ask for a blow job, I would have offered it to you. Either that or my ass."
"Maybe I should start dating you," I jokingly tell her.