Author's note; Okay well first off a little error on my part. In the ending author's note in the last chapter I said that this chapter would contain Mark's last night with Samantha. Well I admittedly was looking at a different outline. Eventually down the line there will be a story line featuring Mark with Samantha but not in SWB. It is part of my next project. Sorry for the mishap. As for this chapter it is a bit of a bridge chapter that sets up chapter 33 which will feature a major revelation. As always thank you for reading! Lovecraft68
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The blaring of a horn behind us startled me out of the past. Turning my head away from the old burned out club where my addiction had almost cost my brother his life, I realized that I could feel tears on my face. I turned quickly back to look out the window so dad wouldn't notice, and leaned back in the seat. I could feel my heart still pounding just from reliving that brutal night.
The car started moving forwards, and as we past it, I gave the old Wolves Den one last look. For many people that night had not ended there. Mark had ended up in the hospital for several days suffering from three broken bones in his face, a half dozen broken ribs, and a concussion. I had told my parents that Mark had been jumped outside a club in Providence. When mom had asked about my own bruised face, I had simply looked away and said that I didn't want to talk about it. Mom's eyes had filled with tears and I assumed she figured it was an abusive boyfriend.
While we were there Tommy had come by to see if Mark was okay, and I am sure to take the opportunity to see me as well, and told us that Rick was also in the hospital suffering from two broken legs. Alex came to visit as well, and to my surprise, Mark stuck with the story that he had been jumped. Alex didn't seem like he believed him but let it go. As I sat there I knew that Mark didn't want Alex to know that it had been my fault. My little brother, yet again, was protecting his undeserving sister.
Two months after that night Harold "Hawk" Roberts was found in an alley, severally beaten with the words "Every Dog has its day" carved into his back with a razor blade. Hawk never told the police who had attacked him, and upon his release from the hospital left Rhode Island and as far as I knew never came back. I was upset that Mark had gone that far but didn't bring it up. As he always said "What was done was done". However, as upset as I was that my brother would risk his future, there was a sick part of me that would have given anything to see the look on Hawk's face when he had seen my brother coming for him.
Some good came out of that night however, well for awhile at least. My brother's desperate plea still lodged in my mind, I approached Alex while Mark was still in the hospital, and asked him if he could help me get into the clinic. Alex had seemed genuinely pleased that I wanted help and immediately made some phone calls to set it up. The clinic was a ninety day inpatient and seemed like the longest three months of my life, but I made it.
During my last month, Mark graduated from Suffolk. I had to receive special permission to attend the ceremony and after party. I had nothing decent to wear and Tommy bought me a beautiful red dress and attended the party with me. It was a humbling experience, being there on the biggest day of my brother's life and knowing that when it was over I was heading back to a hospital room. When the two of us had a moment alone, I hugged Mark close, and told him how proud I was of him. Mark gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that school was easy and he was proud of me for sticking with the clinic and trying to help myself.
Once I was released I stayed with Mark for a few weeks. As in the past however, I knew I couldn't stay close for too long and took Tommy up on his offer to come back and stay with him. I was unsure as I knew that although I loved Tommy, I was not in love with him. Mark however, pushed me towards him, saying that Tommy was good for me. Tommy always treated me better than I deserved, but more importantly had been clean for two years and attended three meetings a week. I moved back in, but many were the nights I laid next to him feeling guilty as it was my brother I was thinking of. Making things tougher was Mark saying that we shouldn't sleep together anymore. I told him that we had always spent time together when I was with Tommy, but he said that maybe it was time that we made some rules for ourselves.
I was devastated, but after trying unsuccessfully to seduce my brother a couple of times gave up. Every time I saw Mark after that I would catch him looking at me longingly and knew he wanted to be with his sister, but held to his rule. I felt the same way and once again started wondering about the two of us. Mark had just passed the bar however, and had been hired officially by the firm where he had been interning. My brother's life was just starting to take off. One night, Tommy and I had gone out to dinner with Mark and an attractive young lawyer named Jessica he had started seeing. During dinner Mark and I had sat there with our arms around our dates and kept staring into each other's eyes. I could feel how badly he wanted me and could even feel myself getting aroused.
When we went back home, Tommy, as he had many times in the past, tried to make love to me. As usual I turned it into him fucking me hard and fast while I envisioned my brother. Two nights later I went to my brother's place, and without a word stripped in front of him. Two hours later I was lying naked and spent in my brother's arms, listening to his steady breathing as he held me close. I should have been content but instead felt that feeling of emptiness. I tried to tell myself that it was the usual melancholy of knowing I could not always be with my brother. This time however, it was deeper than that. For the first time since we had started sleeping together, I did not feel complete in Mark's arms. I could still feel that hollow feeling as if there were a hole where my soul should be. I stayed the weekend with Mark before going back to Tommy, whom I had lied to and said that Mark was very sick and I wanted to take care of him. I went back because I really had nowhere else to go and spent every night thinking of how unfair I was being.
The next week I went to work at the restaurant I had been waitressing at and found myself staring at the bar all night. Knowing I shouldn't, but unable to help myself, I sat down at the bar after my shift and ordered a coke. A half an hour later I was still there and the next coke I ordered was mixed with rum, it was only one, I told myself and it would ease the guilt of sharing Tommy's bed. One turned too many, and it would be a long time before I would even try to get help again.
"Megan, are you okay?"
I turned to look at dad, and saw with a start that he had pulled the car into the breakdown lane.
"Um I..."
"I said your name a couple of times and...." He paused. "Megan you're crying!"
As dad spoke, he reached out and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked over at him and tried to think of what to say.
"Megan I'm sorry if some of the things I said about your brother were harsh but..." he trailed off then added; "You don't know Megan."
"Because you won't tell me." I said quietly.
I was going to leave it there. Let Dad think that that was what I was upset about, but with the image of my brother standing tall, the only thing between me, and an entire gang hell bent on raping me, still in my mind. I decided to tell my father exactly what I had been thinking about.
"Dad you know that burned up building?"
"The old club yeah." dad said still with his hand on my arm. "What about it?"
"I used to work there." I looked him in the eye and continued; "I danced and did worse so I could keep getting drugs."
"Yeah well, that was a long time ago hon, and you don't have too..."
