Six degrees of incest
Sister comes up with a six-step program to keep everything under total control
Ron Ehrs
"Hi. I'm Brad, and I'm a freshman at State. I have a sister, Liz, who's a sophomore here.
"I'm a pretty average kind of guy, 5'11', okay-looking, an okay student -- mostly B's, an A or two when I get lucky. My big problem is that I'm not doing nearly as well as I would like with women, but it's hard for freshman men anyway, since lots of girls are looking for upper-classmen.
"My sister Liz is a better student than I am. I guess she's pretty okay looking, medium-tall, darkish brown hair, hazel eyes, and a face that is perfectly fine, but she has this thing where her clothing is, well, not exactly Amish, but definitely not chosen to emphasize her body or her sex appeal. And, of course, no makeup. I'm not sure if she's kind of shy, but she doesn't seem to have guys hanging around her all the time like some of the other girls do.
"Liz and I got along okay when we were growing up, but I was more interested in hanging out with my guy friends so we didn't spend that much time together.
"I live in a single room in a house off campus. I mean it would be pretty neat if I had a girlfriend, since I have a lot of privacy, but since I don't, I just have a lot of privacy.
"Liz has a single room in one of the women's dorms. Men aren't allowed in, so I've never seen it. And so far, she's never seen my room either.
"Anyhow, one Sunday night in October, she called me to see if I would be willing to talk to her about a paper she was working on."
* * *
Monday
Liz came over to my room on Monday night. In keeping with her usual conservative vibe, she was wearing a white shirt with a Peter Pan collar buttoned up to the top, and a gray, knee-length skirt.
Other than my bed, there wasn't much furniture in my room besides a bureau, a small desk and an undersized desk chair, so sitting on the bed together was the obvious and most comfortable arrangement.
"It's good to see you Bradley," she said. (Everyone else calls me "Brad" these days, but when I was growing up, my family called me Bradley, and Liz still did.) A lot of brothers and sisters would hug if they hadn't seen each other for a while, but that wasn't Liz's style. "We should see each other more often. We need to do something about that."
Still, in spite of the fact that we hadn't seen each other for a while, she didn't have any small talk. "The reason I wanted to see you is I'm taking a course called Human Behavior and right now we're doing a section on Human Sexuality. We're supposed to write a paper on something related to sexuality, but I'm not exactly an expert on any of that, and I suspect most of the other students know way more than I do. I mean, the closest I came to anything of that sort was when the doctor at the health center put me on the pill as a precaution. She told me, 'If you end up going to a frat party sometime and get drunk and something happens, at least pregnancy isn't one of the things you want to have to worry about.'"
That was certainly a weird idea. Definitely not a scenario I would see Liz ever getting into. Also weird that she would tell me about it.
I think she saw me looking skeptical, but just ignored it. "Since I have so little experience to draw on, I thought I'd pick a topic that didn't depend as much on personal knowledge. So... I decided to write my paper on Sibling Incest. I know it's kind of a strange topic to choose, but I figured it would be better than topics where I would end up sounding like a naive idiot.
"Anyway, I have a few ideas, but I wanted someone to talk to about them, and as far as I can see, you're the best person for me to talk to. No, I don't mean it that way, but I can't see myself spending a lot of time talking with anyone else about this. They would think I was just weird. It's not really a topic that people are all that comfortable with. Including me, of course.
"But since you and I are siblings, and this is about sibling stuff, I figured maybe I could bounce some of these ideas off of you to see if they made sense."
Really? After not having gotten together for all this time, this is what she comes to see me about?
"I guess I kind of understand what you're saying," I said, "but it's not really a topic I know anything about. But whatever, tell me your ideas and I'll tell you what I think. I just don't know how much help I can be."
Liz always liked topics where she could do a lot of research. That was her comfort zone. "Originally, I thought I could just do some online research. I know one big issue is the whole thing about birth defects and inbreeding.
"But another thing I wonder about is how big the problem is anyway. Why is it such a big deal? I haven't been able to find any real statistics about how common incest -- specifically brother/sister incest -- is. Do you have any ideas where I could look to get some numbers on that?"
I could see this was going to be a problem. "I don't think you'll be able to find that. Anywhere. Incest is pretty much the biggest taboo of all, probably even bigger than murder. People who will be perfectly happy telling you when and how they lost their virginity or the people they slept with, or even the times they've cheated, will never, ever talk about any kind of incest they were involved in. Never. You could run an online poll with a guarantee of total anonymity, and people still wouldn't tell you. Nobody trusts any assurances of anonymity when it comes to that. It's too toxic.
"Think about it. A lot of people thought that when Bill Clinton's affair with Gennifer Flowers hit the tabloids, that was the end of his campaign. But he went on to become president. Donald Trump has had every kind of sexual scandal imaginable, and nobody cares. But if anybody had come up with evidence of incest (and Trump seems like he was flirting with it with Ivana) it would be all over.
"So, you will never find any kind of numbers on this. You'll find occasional stories in magazines or lifestyle sections of the paper where people talk about having had a relationship with their sibling, or maybe letters to some sex columnist, but that's strictly anecdotal, and hardly a balanced look at anything. Besides, I think magazines and stuff like 'happy incest' stories, stories where everything is lovey-dovey and works out fine. Stories where it involves abuse or whatever, are really a downer, and who wants to read that?"
Liz looked disturbed at what I was telling her. "I think you're right. Maybe I picked the wrong topic to try to write about."
Now that she had brought it up, however, I realized it was actually a pretty intriguing issue. "One thing about sibling incest is that there is such a huge taboo for this particular kind of behavior. There have been plenty of cultures, and still are, where homosexual behavior of any sort is a huge taboo, but that's been changing, at least in Western countries. But the taboo against sibling incest cuts across pretty much every culture today, and somehow seems even worse than adultery or other forms of sexual misbehavior.
"It hasn't always been true. Among the ancient Egyptians, the pharaohs often married their siblings to 'keep it in the family,' although that led to some pretty awful results in terms of birth defects, with King Tut as a prime example. He had a clubfoot and was a total mess in all sorts of ways. European royal families used to intermarry among cousins, which, like in the case of the Habsburg Jaw, could end up with some really ugly results. But today, cousin marriage is outlawed in many places, and nobody has a good word for sibling incest.
"It's kind of understandable, given the genetic issues that can result -- although they're not totally inevitable. But still, it seems like it punches above its weight compared with lots of other kinds of behavior."
Liz looked at me, obviously worried. "Do you think I need to change topics? I mean I don't want to get into something that's just about ancient history."
But by now, I was starting to get into the whole question. "You know, to me the fact that this is such a powerful taboo seems to say that there's something else going on -- namely that there is a real element of sibling attraction, so they have to work extra hard to fight it.
"You know the saying, 'opposites attract'? Well, there's some truth to that, it does happen, but it's much more common for people to end up marrying people who look a lot like them and come from very similar backgrounds. And what's more similar than siblings? Some people claim there's some kind of 'genetic attraction,' though it's definitely not a popular idea these days.