Here's my excuse for what happened:
My girlfriend and I had broken up two months prior to that night. I was glad it ended because she was a nut job, but the year-long relationship had been VERY satisfactory in the physical intimacy department. We'd routinely do fun, spontaneous stuff: hand jobs under the table at TJI Friday's, dry humping against a wall at prom, eating her out from behind as discretely as possible in my living room shortly after my parents went off to bed, etc.
So when we broke up, despite being relieved to be getting away from crazy, I was tortured with a lingering hunger for a woman's body... and all those smells that I'd found so intoxicating. With no outlet (aside from my hand), that hunger had only increased over the weeks. See, I'm not a "ladies man" by any means; I was reasonably good looking and was blessed with a naturally muscular build, but was nothing to be fawned over. I had some female friends but since the breakup I'd had no serious prospects or even casual hookups (perhaps my association with "nut job" scared them off...). And sure, you can get the equivalent sights and sounds from porn, but you sure can't get the tastes, the smells, the touch, the heat, the thrillingly unpredictable chemical interactions that occur between you and a partner... so, to summarize:
**I was horny as fuck.**
That's the state of mind I was in when my sister Rachel, two years older than me and freshly home from college for the summer, wandered into my room while brushing her teeth and proceeded to bend her glorious ass over my computer desk to get a closer look at some old Facebook photos of me and "nut job".
Rachel, I had only recently discovered, was hot, but she didn't really know it yet because (a) she hung out with the nerd crowd, and (b) it was only in the past year or so that her lanky frame filled out with perfectly proportioned B-cups and hips meant to be gripped. Today, those B-cups were perking up an old thin t-shirt, and those hips were stretching the elastic of a pair of thin white pajama bottoms. Up top, her deep brown eyes matched the dark brown hair that she was wearing up in her pre-bed ponytail.
We were close enough that I knew that she hadn't quite capitalized on this newly developed hotness yet; she'd lost her virginity clumsily to a highschool friend and, more recently, she'd broken up with her first semi-serious boyfriend. When I asked for the reason, she'd confided that he'd refused to engage physically with her for his own religious reasons. Yes, "engage physically" were her words. Sex wasn't something openly discussed in our house.
So anyway, I was kneeling on the floor by my desk, busily discarding my senior schoolwork from the past year, and here was this perfectly round mouth-watering butt on display about two feet from my face. With a glance I noticed that the pajama bottoms were thin enough to make out what appeared to be- holy shit was this my sister? - lacy cheeky panties underneath. Not only that, but she was standing so close that I could smell the laundry detergent on her pajamas and... what couldn't have been anything other than a hint of the scent of her sex emanating from between her legs. Blood surged to my groin. In my fragile, horned up state, I was about to lose my mind.
"Oh my god you are so better off without her, Josh... no self-respecting girl would wear a dress to prom that exposes that much midriff..." she mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste as she reached out with her purple painted toes to playfully nudge me in the ribs.
The kick gave me an excuse to turn towards her ass.
It also gave me an excuse to retaliate, but the way I chose to retaliate was preceded by zero rational thought.
Impulsively, animalistically, I lunged over and pressed my nose up into the cleft of her ass. In the fraction of a fraction of a second that my face was engulfed in her soft cheeks before she reflexively tensed and reared upward, I swear I could feel her soft hairs through the thin bottoms on my face, and I'd inhaled just enough to catch a stronger whiff of that familiar, heavenly scent of pussy with a touch of ass.
Meanwhile, above, toothpaste sprayed all over my laptop monitor. "What in the HELL, Josh!!"
Immediately realizing the absurdity of what I'd just done and not knowing what else to do, I just... started laughing, and rolled onto the floor.
"Was that your nose??!?"
I nodded as I continued laughing, my face now fully flushed.
"You are SO weird!! Oh my god. What is wrong with you??"
Oh shit... she was really offended. Of course she was! What WAS wrong with me??
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It was just a joke! You kicked me!" I was flailing now for an explanation that didn't involve admitting an urge to smell my sister's vagina and asshole.
"A joke?! Real hilarious, Josh. Comedian of the Year over here. Noses girls butts, what an act!"
"Plus you have a great butt, Rach, what can I say?" I said in a way that I hoped would come off just jokey enough for her to let it pass.
"Oh thanks!" she said sarcastically. "So your first instinct when you see a great butt is to smell it??"
"Yeah, I LOVE the smell of girls' butts!" I responded, putting on my best annoying gross little brother act.
She rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed and disgusted, and stomped out of my room and back to the bathroom.
When she was done she passed by my bedroom on the way to hers, pausing at my open door long enough for me to look up, to which she shook her head judgmentally as if to say "I can't believe you did that".
But what she said instead was her usual, semi-affectionate, "g'night, dork."
Elated that I had seemed to get away with it with minimal repercussions, I called, teasingly, "g'night, stink butt!"
---
But there were some self-inflicted repercussions: I was slightly embarrassed and feared I had embarrassed and offended Rachel, so over the next few days I was doing my best to not be my usual obnoxious self. But that just made things more awkward, because me being obnoxious and relentlessly teasing her was the norm.
We were in this awkward state when we gathered in the living room to watch a DVD a few nights later. My parents were finishing cleaning up in the kitchen and told Rachel to pick out a movie.
As I sat on the couch, she bent over to browse my parents' DVD collection, and, well, there it was before me. Her loose pink Adidas shorts did nothing to hide the depth of the valley between her cheeks. The briefest glance had me enraptured again, immediately recalling the scent from a few nights ago. Still sensitive to my previous transgression, though, I didn't allow my eyes to linger for more than a glance.
And I'm glad I wasn't looking because Rachel almost immediately looked back to see if I was doing exactly that. Seeing that I'd been acting appropriately chastened, she smiled and teased,
"Don't you even think about it, ass fiend!"
I gave a quick embarrassed grin, unable to hide my relief that we were back to teasing each other again. I feigned offense, "You wish, ass-haver!"
