I was not enthused about having my mother come to stay with me. Not that I don't love my mother, but I had just bought my first home a few months earlier, and was enjoying all the freedoms that come with having a home of your own. I had a great job in my home town at the plant, I got a huge signing bonus, and I bought a house in the neighborhood I grew up in, five doors down from my parents' home. My parents had a shaky marriage for at least the last ten years, and the year I graduated college was the end for them. My mom and dad both helped me move into my home, they helped me pick furniture and window coverings, and even helped me paint. But it seemed they had agreed this would be their last act together, because not even ten days after finishing the moving, my mother called me and asked me if she could come over and bring me dinner. When she arrived, she had a suitcase, not dinner. The doorbell rang, after I closed the door behind her, and there was the pizza guy with dinner.
Mom explained what had happened, that she and my dad were splitting up, no one beat the other, neither cheated, they just weren't going to be together anymore. This to me was ideal, for them, there was no violence, no police, no other woman, just a clean break. But, in the interim, she needed a place to stay, and assumed I was offering. Of course, my mother showing up in this way with a suitcase, there was no way I could say no. I had a three bedroom house, it was laid out the same way as my parents' home, just left-to-right flipped, I had no woman to argue about this, and no woman to help me take care of the house. For me, it seemed like a win-win. I hugged my mom, told her my home was open for her, she could treat it like her own and stay as long as she needed to. Of course, in my mind I was hoping this wouldn't be long, as again I enjoyed my freedom and my house.
I called my dad, and he told me the same story, he seemed as ok with this all as mom was. He said they would go to a lawyer and work out the money and the house, but that he was planning on staying in town. His plumbing business was the biggest in town, there was no way he could leave it. My mom on the other hand, hadn't worked in ten years since my sister and I were in middle school. She was an "office person", I don't know exactly what she had done or what her skill was in, but my plant always had openings for people in the office. I promised dad I would take care of mom, and I went back to mom and the pizza.
We enjoyed the pizza, and talked, like grownups, like friends rather than parent and child, in a way that we hadn't ever done, at least not for this long. From dinner time until long past midnight, we enjoyed a good laugh and a good time. Mom saw the clock, and said she was ready for bed. I hadn't even shown her to her room, I was a bad host, but I was also new at this. I would do better. I took her to the two spare rooms, one had a single bed, the other had a desk. She chose the one with the single bed, and I brought her sheets. Of course these were king sheets for my bed, but this was all I had, the set on my bed and this one. She shooed me away, said she would make up the bed. I told her if she thought she would be here a while, we could go shopping tomorrow evening for a proper bed and sheets. She agreed, mostly just to get me to leave. I closed the bedroom door, and went to my own room. What a turn of events, I thought.
The next morning, mom was still sleeping when I walked past her room. I got ready for work and left. I figured she could take care of herself for breakfast and entertainment. I was wrong. Mom called me about an hour into my work day asking where my cereal was. I only had six cabinets, it shouldn't have been that complex. I explained to her where the things were, the bowls, the silverware, and told her to just set her used things in the dishwasher and I would deal with it when I got home. She said she was going to do laundry, asking if I wanted her to wash mine. I had bought the same washer they had, so I knew at least that this activity she could do independently. I was due for a laundry day, so I told her she didn't have to, but if she did it I would make her something special for dinner. She giggled at that, and said she would have dinner ready when I got home. I was spoiled already, less than 20 hours in.
We settled in to a routine over the next week, mom said she would look for a job, but never did. I said I would buy her a bed, and I never did. She moved various items from my parents' home to mine, and made my guest room her own. I think she enjoyed being independent in this way, she hadn't been since she met my dad, 25 years ago. She asked me at dinner two weeks ago how I was doing with my money. I knew this was a way to secretly ask if I needed her to pay anything, I know she was nervous about this. I told her everything was fine, and that as long as she didn't start buying lobsters or ordering porn on pay per view, our current arrangement was fine. She laughed in a way I don't remember since the time my sister dropped our grandmother's birthday cake right in granny's lap. Maybe she found it quaint that her son was telling her not to order pornography from the television, or maybe she just finally felt at home, because I wasn't making an issue out of her being here or money. I made plenty of money with my job, she could live here for a hundred years before it made any difference to my finances. I am going to broach the topic of her getting a job soon, but this is more for her own sanity than my bank account.
Then last Tuesday, I was surprised when I was getting ready for work to find mom in the kitchen, dressed in a nice outfit, and getting ready to leave. I asked her what gives, and she said she was going for an interview at the insurance agency. I didn't know what she knew about insurance, but if they called her for an interview, ok that was great. I hugged mom and she kissed me on my cheek, telling me how excited she was to be getting out in the job world again. I was sure she would be shocked and disappointed in the various changes in the 25 years since she left the workforce, but that was for her to discover on her own. She left, and I left soon after. She got that job, and later that night she told me that she would be starting the next day. I was happy for her, and was going to do something nice for my mom.