I can still remember the first time Dad was sent overseas. Being an infantry master sergeant with eight years in, he was one of the first called up. I was only six years old, but I can remember his serious instructions: “Your mother will need you to be strong…her little man of the house.” I acknowledged his instructions and told myself I would do my best. I wondered, though, what could I do? After all, I was just a kid. But as his absence turned from days to week, I would come to understand. My mother is very dependent on those around her. She is not weak, but if she finds someone she trusts she will defer to that person in ways that make her submissive at times. One day I arrived home from school to find my mother sitting in the living room sobbing softly. This alarmed me, “Mom! What’s wrong?” Dropping my books I hurried to where she sat on the sofa.
“I don’t know, baby,” she whimpered, daubing her cheeks with a tissue.
I put my hand on her shoulder, “Why are you crying?”
“Your Dad’s been gone for almost two months and I miss him terribly,” she replied, “I can’t seem to get past it. I tried to clean the house today and just couldn’t stand the thought of beginning. Now you’re home and I haven’t even thought of dinner.” Her eyes squeezed shut and tears rolled over her cheeks.
“Aw, Mom. Don’t cry.” I pleaded. I pulled her to me, patting her back. “I’ll take care of it. Just sit here a while.”
I got up and went to the phone. I dialed the local pizza joint and ordered a carry out. Finishing that, I gathered the soiled clothes from the hamper and began the laundry. While that was running I cleaned the kitchen of the breakfast mess and straightened the living room. As I went about my tasks I would casually interact with Mom. “Put this here, Mom.” “Move so I can get there, Mom” “Get you purse, Mom.I need money for the pizza guy.” She would look through her long lashes, eyes wide, “Ok, baby,” replying. I soon figured out that she would do pretty much what I told her if I took charge and acted like I knew what I was doing.
Twelve years later, wouldn’t you know it. The Gulf becomes another problem and Dad has to come out of the reserves and go overseas again. Like before, he tells me that I have to watch over Mom and take care of things. Now that I’m eighteen, I’m involved in paying bills and running errands. Every few days something comes up that I have to address because Mom looks to me to act. Our lives fell into the monotonous routine of existence without Dad.
I noticed Mom moping around the house one Saturday morning after Dad had been gone about three months. I asked her if she was feeling ok.
“I’m ok, I guess.” She replied absently. “Just feel bored…”
“Why don’t we go to the lake? Would you like that?” hoping to cheer her mood.
Her whole demeanor changed, “That would be great! When?”
“Right now.” I proposed, glad to see her brighten.
“I’ll go get ready!” she exclaimed, rushing from the room.
“Damn,” I thought. “It’s just the lake” Shaking my head I busied myself preparing for the excursion.
I sat in the living room as Mom entered. “Ready?” she asked.
“Yep. Um…are you wearing that?” I asked. She looked at her garb: a pair of cutoffs, an oversize T-shirt and sandals.
Her brow furrowed, “What’s wrong with this?”
“We’re going to the lake. I just thought you would wear a swimsuit.” I answered.
“Silly.” She laughed. “I have my suit on underneath”
“Let’s see.” I said.
She laughed again. “Why?”
“I wanna see what suit you’re wearing.” My voice even.
“You don’t trust my taste?” she asked, cocking her head slightly, making fun.
“C’mon, Mom,” I goaded, “Let me see.”
She sighed, “Ohhhkayyy”
She pulled the T-shirt over her head and unzipped her cutoffs. “That’s enough.” I said. “Why are you wearing that one-piece?”
“It’s the only thing I have that fits, Keith, if you must know.” Was her answer.
“What about that green bikini?” I inquired.
“I haven’t worn that one in two years.” Now, she was really laughing.
“Try it and see.”
“Keith.” More laughter.
