We arrived at the airport in Ottawa and as we disembarked there was a diplomat waiting for us. "Hello." She smiled, "Would you be the delegation from the Embassy Afloat?"
"Why, yes, we are. I am Ambassador Harry Walker. These are my wives, Sue and Xi Walker and my security detail."
"Wonderful! I am Pamela Nadine, undersecretary to the American ambassador to Canada. Do you have any baggage, or shall we go straight away to the waiting limousine?"
"No, ma-am, we have no baggage. And please lead the way to the limousine."
We walked straight to a stretch limousine and entered the back where there was ample seating for all 8 of us. "I note there is a United States diplomatic flag on the fender. Is it customary for one's own embassy to provide transportation for a Canadian State visit?"
Undersecretary Nadine shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "Actually, Ambassador Walker, the Prime Minister told the Minister of Foreign Affairs to have her Parliamentary Secretary call us and inform us of your visit so we might prepare a luncheon in your honor."
"I see. Will the Prime Minister be in attendance?"
"I am afraid his schedule did not permit his attendance, Ambassador."
I nodded my head, "What about the Minister of Foreign Affairs?"
"I must apologize, Ambassador but I was given the same answer."
"Not even the Parliamentary Secretary then, either."
"I am afraid not, Sir."
"And what is your best assessment as to why we are being so disrespected?"
"It is my thought you come across as a war monger to the PM and his cabinet, Ambassador. This particular leadership is very much anti-war."
"So they risk future relationships with a possible future president because they don't wish to appear to be soft on their principles?"
"That would seem to be the case, Sir."
"Turn us back around and we will return to my embassy. Life is too short to play games when I am being insulted. Sue, call the US Embassy here and let me speak with the Ambassador."
After a moment Sue handed me her satellite phone. "Yes, Ambassador, I wish to apologize for not coming to lunch with you. I realized just now my wives and I were being insulted by the PM and his cabinet. I am just not one to play such games and just take insults like that. If they ask, and only if they ask, please give them this message word for word, would you do that for me?"
"As a courtesy to you, you have my word, Sir. This is a slap in the face for the entire diplomatic corps."
"Tell the PM I said that when he decides to play a game of chess, he should consider the skill and style of his adversary before moving his first piece. I never forget a slight against me, my family, or my country and I never take them lightly. While the last ruler of a foreign country who insulted me, my family, and my country is now unable to regret his decision due to his violent passing, I hold out some hope our next attempt at a meeting will be more amicable."
"Um, has the State Department reviewed your statement and approved of it?"
"I don't answer to the Secretary of State. I answer only to the President. If you don't hear from anyone by the end of business today, you can relay my message as is."
The Ambassador responded, "Why am I hoping to not hear from Washington for the rest of the day?" as he muttered with a chuckle. "You speak straight from the hip, Ambassador Walker. Not something most diplomats are known for."
"I am a diplomat for convenience. I am an assassin and 'fixer' by trade. If the PM asks about my plain speaking or makes a comment about my poor diplomatic skills, pass that tidbit of information along and mention it might have been a good idea to get to know me better when he had the opportunity."
He laughed outright at that, "Oh, I definitely will!"
"Have a wonderful day, Ambassador. I hope you understand why I am going back to my Embassy."
"I do and I applaud your ability to play the game of brinkmanship, Sir."
With that I hung up, handed Sue back her phone and then called the State Department, putting the call on speaker phone so the undersecretary could unofficially relay the particulars of the call. "You have reached the United States Department of State, how may I direct your call?"
"Hello, this is Ambassador Harry Walker, and I need to speak directly with the Secretary, please?"
"One moment while I connect you with his office, Ambassador."
"This is the Secretary of State's office, how may I help you?"
"Hi, this is Ambassador Walker. Is the Secretary available?"
"One moment, Ambassador. May I put you on hold and find him for you?"
"Absolutely, thank you."
After a brief moment, "Hello, Ambassador Walker! How is your NATO tour going?"
"Off to a rather rocky start, I am afraid." I then informed the Secretary of what transpired and what I told the Ambassador to Canada to say if asked about the meeting. "If you have issue with that, I suggest you talk it over with Bill and call the Canadian Ambassador with an alternative message and send me a copy after I have cooled down a bit."
The Secretary of State laughed his ass off. "Sorry, Ambassador, but that is just funny as hell. Their diplomatic service has been very uncooperative ever since the war with Mexico. It is about time someone put them in their place. I will discuss it with the President and his advisors, but I am thinking we never had this conversation."
I smiled, "I have no idea what we were just talking about, Mr. Secretary. You have a great afternoon."
Undersecretary Nadine was flabbergasted. "Please forgive my incredulity: But who the hell are you people?"
One of the SEALs said, "He is the head of a secret, black-bag organization with the ability to act with total autonomy and is answerable only to the President of the United States. He is a man who you really don't want to piss off; and if you do, make sure your life insurance is paid up in full as you will never see him coming: no matter what security you surround yourself with. He makes the movies of 'Mission Impossible' look like kids playing in a sandbox."
"Roger that!"
Nadine turned a bit sheepish, "The PM has no idea how badly he just fucked up, does he?"
Sue, Xi, and everyone in the security detail answered in chorus, "Nope!"
Nadine nodded, "I noticed your team doesn't have any obvious weapons on them."
LT spoke up, "Ma-am, no offense meant. But guns are for pussies. We don't bring out the hardware unless it is greater than 50 to one odds. Otherwise, it is just a pain in the ass to carry around."