Strange Brew

The door chime jingled as the last couple of deadbeats and drunks staggered out into the night. That just left me and the bartender alone in this clean, but cheap-looking bar. I nursed my beer resting before me, one in a line I wish had been longer, but I have never been able to throw back alcohol like some people I knew. I sighed and stared sightlessly the frothy amber liquid and contemplated my life.

"Last drinks there, son," said the barman, a wiry older gent with a long goatee, red t-shirt, faded jeans and an even more faded Irish accent. He was wiping down the bar with a cloth that had seen better days, whose wooden polished gleam suggested that this is what he did to keep busy on the slower nights, like tonight.

"One last one, then," I said, downing the last of my drink, wincing slightly as it had become a little warm. The barman pulled on the handle and the tap gushed forth its liquid gold, an unlikely solution to find an end to my woes. He slid it along the bar expertly, stopping it directly in front of me. He then poured a second and come and stood before me, leaning on the bar, a sympathetic grin on his face.

"Had a bad day, sport?" he asked, taking a gulp of his beer and wiping the froth from his moustache with the back of one hand.

"Not particularly. It has just been one hell of a mediocre life," I replied, mirroring his drinking.

"Go on then, let it out. While I promise no solutions, I am a hell of a good listener."

"Well," I began, and then paused. My problems were pretty weak, when I tried to think of a way to voice them. It isn't like I have cancer or anything. I sighed again, what harm could it do? "Today is my birthday".

"Happy birthday, sport," he said, and clinked his glass into mine.

"Thanks. I just turned twenty-two years old. Twenty two and..." Here goes, time to admit the embarrassing part. "I am twenty two and I haven't even been kissed yet." I took a long drink from my beer so I could hide my shame. Most guys my age had boned god-knows how many girls by now, and I hadn't even kissed a girl? I felt my cheeks burned and scowled into my drink. Finally I raised my eyes to gauge his reaction, to see if he was laughing at me, like I expected him to. Instead he had a slight frown on his face, and looked me up and down appraisingly.

"Why is that then? You aren't a bad looker, and trust me; we get some pretty horrific cases in here at times."

"I know! It is not that I am ugly, or stupid, or even a complete dick! Girls like me, alright, but I always seem to be slotted straight into the 'friend zone'. Every other girl I am interested in is a lesbian, already going out with some moron, or just 'not looking right now'. It is so fucking unfair! I put myself out there only to see girls shoot me down and chase after the losers, when here I am, willing to treat them like gold!" I realised I was ranting, my voice becoming a little too loud, and stopped to take a breath. The guy behind the bar had a grin on his face, but he didn't seem to be at all mocking. He leaned forward, suddenly turning all serious. His voice dropped as he spoke to me in a clear, quiet, deep voice that pulled my attention to him like a magnet, shearing away the carefully constructed layers of my alcoholic haze. I felt like I was falling into his strange amber eyes. They pinned me to my stool, and I couldn't look away if I tried.

"What if there was a way of getting any girl you wanted? What if there was a way to have all the little lasses literally creaming themselves at the thought of pleasuring you in every way, shape and form, no matter how sick or depraved your desires, or how untouchable you think they are? What if, with nary a click of your fingers, you could feast yourself so full of carnal pleasures it would damn well HURT?"

I didn't even blink. For some reason it never occurred to me to laugh, never crossed my mind to treat this as anything other than a serious offer My voice dropped, cracking slightly as I leaned in to him, getting so close I could smell his body odour, a faint rotten-egg smell. "Well then, sir, I would ask where do I sign?"

He leaned back and grinned, seeming pleased with my response. He shook his head, causing the spell to break slightly and my hopes drop a notch. "Champ, you should be careful signing your life away to just anybody, y'know. Always be sure of who you are signing to, and what you are signing for, if you know what is good for you." He tapped his teeth with a coaster from the bar. "I'll tell you what; I'll give you a freebie, because frankly, son, I like you. You remind me when I was young, so many years ago now I've almost lost count. It will make the girls drool over you, at both ends just to be near you. It will make any girl you meet want to do the nasty with you all night long. You will be the main stud-man, and any woman you want will be yours. But, there is a catch."

"There always is," I smirked, leaning back. Why did I get all serious before? Must be the booze.

"No, it is not that bad. I can make it so that every woman who sets eyes on you will do anything you want, sexually speaking. It will be their life mission to have you orgasm for you... but only up to the point where you do orgasm for them. One touch of your spirit and she will regain her senses, and there will be nothing you could do to get your mojo working on her again."

"Well, I think I could handle that!" I said with a grin. The guy was obviously pulling my leg. He was making fun of me, but was also cheering me up, so I could play along. "I am in, do your thing."

He smiled, and stepped over to his taps, drawing out a glass still covered in condensation from when it was recently cleaned. He reached for a tap I hadn't noticed before. The sign on it merely had a black oval with two red crescent moons facing each other. I did not recognise the beer brand. He drew the pump towards him and the glass filled with a dark, red brew, with an inviting white head on it. I licked my lips as I watched it, never before desiring a beer more than that one being poured in front of me. It was hypnotic, watching him fill that glass. A bomb could have gone off nearby and I'd probably still be sitting there still staring at that damned drink. He finished pouring, and a slight amount of the head slid down the glass, resting against the barman's hand. Honestly, I would have almost licked his fingers for a taste of that brew, but for the life of me I couldn't tell you why. He placed it in front on me, and I grabbed at it eagerly, but he pulled it away from my reaching hands at the last second. I looked up and him questioningly.

"Be warned, what is given cannot easily be taken away. When you drink this brew you will be irresistible to all members of the opposite sex up to and including the moment at which you reach climax with them. Drink only if agree to wanting this, as there can be no more freebies after this."

I hesitated. He seemed serious as he warned me about the drink, but it was so inviting... He allowed my hands to grasp its refreshing coolness, and I gazed at its opaque, red glowing mixture. Pattens of red light danced along the bar from the lights behind the glass. What the hell, I thought; it isn't like he'd said anything that sounded negative to me!

I raised the glass in a silent toast to the provider of the drink, and raised it to my lips. The second a drop had passed my lips I was like a man possessed. I drank quickly and carelessly. Usually I struggled to drink alcohol this quickly, but not with this drink. It tasted like ambrosia, the first beer of the summer; it was the first, dark wholesome beer of winter, the beer you swig as your team is winning, a toast to life, to living. It warmed going down like a spirit, it slid across my tongue and down my throat like liquid silk. It reached to every part of me, an electric tingle that both energised and stupefied at the same time. It was like no beer I had ever tasted.

Suddenly, I was looking at the bottom of the glass, seeing the foam sluggishly slide down the sides of the glass towards my mouth, where I still held it stupidly. My senses slowly returned, still fuzzy from... whatever the hell just happened. I managed to put the empty glass down slowly and stared at it uncomprehendingly.

The barman gave me a few moments to collect my thoughts, then took hold of my elbow and started directing me towards the door. I hadn't even noticed him coming out from behind the bar.

"Hope it all goes well for you, champ. I hope you get exactly what you wanted. Don't be a stranger now, come back some time, do y'hear?"

And with that I was outside on the street in front of the bar. I looked stupidly at the sign hanging above the door. The 'Clove and Hoof' it was called, and sported a picture of a man, laughing at something he obviously found quite amusing. For some reason it looked like he was laughing at me.

I shivered in the cold, and began to come back to reality. I looked in my wallet and despaired at the sheer lack of monetary funds it contained, certainly not enough for a taxi. I momentarily considered calling my mom, she would pick me up. After all, it... well it was until recently my birthday. Apparently it was later than I thought. Meh, she was probably asleep, it wasn't too far, and I could walk.

I started trudging along, hands deep in my pockets and shoulders hunched in response to the cold. The streets were mostly empty, just the odd car driving past on some unknowable errand breaking the complete silence. It was very dark tonight, the moon just a sliver in the sky when it could be seen peeking at me from between the clouds. If it weren't for the street lights dropping the regular pools of light across the footpath, it would be impossible to walk without stumbling into anything.

For a moment back there I'd be totally taken in. Believed the little stories that crazy barman was weaving. It seemed pretty dumb now, in the cold hard reality of the world. But here I still am, still a virgin who hasn't even been kissed, and still living with his mom. I paused under a light and looked at my reflection in a store window. I was a shade over six feet, with a shock of dark brown unruly hair. I had an average build, certainly no bodybuilder, but not overweight at all either. Most girls mentioned my eyes, a blue so pale they are almost grey. The number of times I have heard from the ladies that my eyes must make me popular with OTHER girls (just not them) have been too numerous to count. I sighed.

Suddenly I was startled by a girl coming out of another bar nearby rather quickly, as if propelled by someone inside. This theory was supported by a bald red-faced chap stepping out after her, guarding the door and giving her the evil eye.

"I said last drinks, miss, now go home!"

"Please, just one more? I could show my gratitude..." she slurred, obviously under the influence. She looked a bit trashy with her green shiny dress that hugged her generous curves. She may even have been quite pretty, if she wasn't staggering about, her hair and clothes dishevelled. The barman did not answer, just shooting her one last hard look, then storming back inside, slamming the door. "Well, screw you too, ya prick!" She yelled, flipping the closed door the bird. The door did not react to this slight.

As she attempted to futilely straighten her clothing, a thought came to me. What if the barman had told the truth? What if that beer had magical properties and I was now irresistible to women? I looked at the girl in front of me. She was probably in her thirties, but had used make-up to try to make herself look younger. She had a fine pair of tits, and a nice, fleshy ass. She may have been carrying a little more weight than necessary, but not enough to be a turn off, more to make her curvy. I suddenly had the desire to experiment, to see if I was the lady-killer I was promised.

I stepped forwards. "Hey!" I managed, then was hit by all my usual insecurities at once. I pictured her screaming, her hitting me, her running away. Worse, I imagined her laugh as she mocked my pitiful attempts to talk to her. This was not going to work. This would be an embarrassment. I stopped, and looked at my feet. When I risked a look at her, she had a strange look in her false-eye lashed eyes. She seemed hungry, anticipatory of what was to come. Her tongue trailed across her lips as her eyes strolled lazily over every inch of my body.

"Well, hello there," she purred, stepping in close. "Aren't you a fine looking gentleman?"

I would love to say I became a fine, suave chap who whisked her off her feet, rather than the reality of me standing there with my mouth open, looking, quite frankly, stupid.

She slid up to me, so close I could feel her breath across my cheek. "You know, you look pretty handsome there, fella. How would you like to take me home with you? I can play pretty nice, when I want to."

"Home?" I asked, still continuing along the stupidity line. Was this really working?

"Yeah, do you live close? Because these shoes are killing me. And quite frankly, I'm not sure if I can wait that long..." She moved in closer, her generous breasts mashing into me, her eyes looking up at me with undisguised lust. "I am feeling a might frisky, if y'know what I mean."

"Well, no, I live about a half-hours walk from here..."

"Bah, too long!" She bit her lip, looking around for something, then her eyes locking onto me. The lust came back so quickly it was almost scary. "Come on, that alley over there!" And with that she grabbed my arm and pulled me into a dark alley that ran along the side of the bar. Immediately she was pressing me up against a rough wall. I could feel every inch of her as she pulled me down to a wet, booze-smelling kiss that tasted like peppermint gum and cigarettes, and she all but attempted to shove herself down my throat.

I was stunned. Sure, not quite how I imagined my first kiss to go, but it was happening! I gingerly slipped my arms around her, and in a fit of bravery slid one hand down to cup her ass. It felt like soft, yet firm heaven. She let out a moan against my lips.

"Damn, sugar, but you have me all hot and bothered! And I can feel you are the same!" Her hand slid down my front and squeezed my cock, now desperate to get out of my jeans. "Perhaps I can do something about that little problem!"

Suddenly she was on her knees in front of me, clawing at my belt. I stood there in shock, wondering how this could be happening to me, as she ripped opened my belt, undid my fly and tugged down my underpants to reveal my shaft to the cool air. I had enough time to feel a twinge of embarrassment before she said, "Nice!" and lunged forwards, taking my entire length into her warm mouth.

Suddenly I was in heaven. There was no foreplay, just a sudden and enthusiastic engulfing of my dick. She bobbed her head up and down my length, her velvety mouth causing an unbelievable amount of ecstasy on my part. I had nothing to compare it too, but it felt a-fucking-mazing. So good, that I knew that I could never last. All too soon I felt the familiar building of cum, filling my balls. She groaned around my cock, and I realised that she was getting off on this too, humping my foot as she worked my cock enthusiastically, her false nails digging into my hips. My fingers wrapped up in her hair, my teeth clenched and I blew a massive load into her mouth. My orgasm was so great that I struggled to stay upright, my legs turning to the consistency of cooked spaghetti. My body jerked as I released spray after spray down her throat. She moaned as she swallowed every drop, her tongue cleaning my knob expertly.

Finally she sat back on her, frankly too tall, heels, and she looked up at me. She had the strangest look on her face; as if she was wondering what the hell she was doing sucking my dick. She wiped her mouth and stood up unsteadily.

"Umm," she started, a frown on her face. "I hoped you liked that. Uh, could I borrow ten bucks from you? For a taxi?"

"Um, sure," I said, fumbling for my wallet. I pulled out my last ten dollar note, and handed it over.

"Thanks," she said, and took the note with some embarrassment. Without a look back she stumbled away, confused as hell.

Me? I was overjoyed. It was all true. I was now a sex god, able to command any girl I chose to do whatever I want. I had already lost my technical virginity; and soon I would lose the rest, in the manner, and the pussy, of my choosing.

I walked the rest of the way home, almost dancing every inch of the way. I stopped every now and then to do a little jig, and then kept on my way with a little laugh. I had never been so happy in my life.

My house was dark when I finally got there. My mother, father and sister must be asleep. I danced to my room as quietly as I could and flopped onto my bed. I stared at the ceiling, plotting and planning what I would do first with my new power, but the booze and the time awake caught up with me and soon I was fast asleep.

The next day I woke slowly, warm and happy under my blankets. My adventures from last night came back to me and I swung my legs off the bed and sprang upright. My life had just begun, and I was planning to live it to the fullest. I waltzed along the hall and into the kitchen, everything sunshine and happiness. My mom was at the stove cooking bacon and eggs, and suddenly DAMN I was hungry!

I sat at the kitchen table and said, "Morning, mom! Hell of a morning, aint it? That smells awesome! Could I have double helpings, I could eat a horse this morning!"

My mom's back stiffened. She stood by the stove, hands bracing herself either side, as still as a statue. I could see her beginning to take deep breaths, her shoulders rising and falling as she did. My smile faltered, something was happening, something told me, something not good.

"Well, hello son," she finally said, and slowly turned around. She looked at me through hooded eyes, an expression of hunger on her face. At that moment my stomach dropped square into my fuzzy-lined slippers and my eyes bugged out.

"Mom?"

"You know, I've never noticed before, but you have grown up to be such a big boy," my mom purred, walking over to my table with the maximum amount of sashaying of hips. She played with her robe, and it fell open, exposing her, admittedly modest nighty. Everything about her was screaming sex, and it was hurting my brain. "You are so handsome and strong." She sat on the table, inches from me, and played her hand along her body. It traced over the line of her body, over her hip and waist, past her ribs, and onto her fairly substantial breast, giving a little squeeze, and causing her back to arch and her breath to catch. She looked deep into my eyes, her hair falling over her face, her expression more like an animal than the polite, slightly strict mom I knew. "Sometimes I wonder how... big... you have actually grown."

My mind slowly took in this... unashamed vixen, currently inhabiting the body of my mother. Speaking of bodies, the way she ran her hand over her breasts, the way she pushed her assets towards me, suddenly made me notice that my mom was built in some pretty interesting ways. I was suddenly noticing that she was quite the sexy woman, as opposed to just my sexless mom.

I was saved from making a decision as to how the hell to react to this by the arrival of my sister. My mom reluctantly stood, held her robe open for a short time, showing me her suddenly womanly body, and then turned slowly back to the stove. My nineteen year old little sister, April, ran her hand through her hair, scratching her head, still waking up, and flopped down across from me. I was still in shock from my mother's actions, and just stared blankly at my sister, sitting across from me in a tight smiley-face t-shirt and a pair of oh-so-tight pink short-shorts. I felt my stomach sink at the thought of what was going to happen next.