Super Secret Diary

Super Secret (Seriously) Diary of Fiona Dunn

May 15

So, I guess I've been doing these diaries for a few years now, but it's only today that I've had something to write that is seriously super secret. Something I can't let anybody read, not even my BFF, Madison. I sort of can't believe it really happened.

Anyway, Diary, you know how Daddy's always so sweet to me? And he loves to kiss me, right? Only, it's always been just a sweet Daddy-type thing in the past. Ever since Mom died, he and me've been real close, and I always loved that, knowing that he was there for me, and me there for him.

And I know you know how all my friends have this thing for Daddy. And, in some sort of objective way, I always knew why. I mean, sure he's really old and all, forty-five, or something, but he totally keeps himself fit, which is pretty impressive. Madison's dad is all flabby, and Portia's dad has this disgusting beer belly. I don't even know why her mom stays with him! But my Daddy... well, anyway. Let's just say he looks pretty good in a swimsuit.

I'm always complaining to you about my senior year, diary. It seems like ever since I turned eighteen, the guys have been kind of stay-away from me. And I don't know why! I mean, I'm still me, right? Still Fiona Dunn, on the cheer squad (but not good enough to be head cheerleader, I guess. That bitch Ashley Morgan's got that spot locked up since tenth grade!), still rocking the good looks, IMHO.

But yesterday, I saw Peter Horsley with Bridget Monahan. I've been so nice to him all year long, ever since Matt broke up with me. And he goes out with that cow? What is going on with this world? I still wonder whether it's because I never gave out to Matt. Did he spread some nasty rumors about me? I swear, if I ever find out that he did, he will be several inches shorter in the crotch department.

But back to what I was talking about, more importantly. What happened this afternoon when I got home. I was feeling pretty low, after seeing that. Questioning myself, you know? All that teenage angst. Clichés abound. I was moping around, just feeling blah, in my usual dumpy moping-around clothes, when Daddy came home.

He's all empathetic and shit, you know? Like, he always knows exactly what I'm feeling, somehow. It's one of those Daddy things, but I guess not all Daddies have it. Anyway, I can always count on him to understand these things.

"Hey, Kitten," he said. "What's eating you?"

"Don't want to talk about it," I groused.

"Come on, honey," he urged, putting his briefcase down. He was rocking one of his fine suits, pinstriped and well-tailored. One of the perks of being a seriously successful lawyer, I guess. He always calls it keeping up appearances. He loosened his tie (red, with blue and gold diamonds) and sat down next to me on the couch.

Well, of course, the waterworks began. You can't resist the Daddy charm, no matter how mature you are. And the whole story poured out with my tears. He held me, stroked my hair, made all of the silly comments Daddies have to make about how Peter isn't good enough for me, blah, blah, blah. Nothing out of the ordinary here, right, diary?

Yeah, except that when I finally stopped sniffling, and wiped my nose with my hand, I knew I looked just as shitty as I felt.

"God, I must look like hell, right?"

"Nonsense, sweetie," he said softly, brushing my hair out of my face and behind my ear. "You're beautiful, like always."

"Yeah, right," I snorted. "You're just saying that because you're my Daddy."

"No, I'm not." He contemplated me, a thoughtful look on his handsome face. I gazed up at him, but broke before the intensity I saw there. As I looked down at the floor, his hand dropped onto my shoulder. "I'd kiss you from head to toe, Fiona."

That was a break from the script. I glanced up at him, confused. His hand felt warm and firm on my shoulder, his fingers right over my bra strap. I blinked a couple of times and said the only thing that came into my mind.

"Huh?"

"I mean it," he said seriously. "I would."

"Daddy!" I gasped, and giggled, covering my mouth. "You... I mean, I think there are a few places you'd have to, um, like, skip?" Clearly my brain was still catching up. This is what I came up with as an objection to what he said?

"Really?" He quirked an eyebrow in that typical Daddy way. "What places are those?" His eyes swept down my body, and I felt tingly, all over. It was the strangest feeling to be having with my Daddy. I knew what it was. It was that feeling I get when I think about sexy guys.

"Oh. My. God," I laughed, feeling both outraged and tipsy. "You know."

"No, I don't," he shrugged. "You'll have to tell me."

I stared at him, a hysterical laugh just beneath the surface. This was not at all what I had expected. Was Daddy really saying he'd kiss me... everywhere? And I mean, everywhere? Like on my boobs, or between my legs? This was so not happening.

"I can't," I whispered, my voice shaky.

"Well, tell you what," he said calmly. "You can show me. Let's make a deal. Anything I shouldn't kiss, you keep covered. I won't kiss any part of you I can't see. Conversely," (such a typical Daddy word) "any part of you I can see, like this," and he leaned in and kissed me right below the ear, "I can and will kiss, okay?"

"Um..." I thought furiously. His warm lips on the tender skin at the corner of my jaw had felt like heaven. I'd not felt anything so sweet, so tender, so... loving in a long time. But wasn't this wrong? He shouldn't be doing that, right, diary? But who cared? It felt so great, I was willing to go along with it. In any case, I was in control. I could cover anything or everything I wanted to, and he'd be stopped from doing anything too... well, anyway.

"Okay," I said softly. I looked up into his intense green eyes. "Deal."

"All right, then," he smiled. "I'm going to go get changed out of my monkey suit, and then we can have some dinner, okay?" And, then, diary, he just stood up and left me there. I was literally shaking on the couch, feeling like I'd just had an injection of adrenaline or something. And the weirdest thing? My nipples were like totally hard. Thank God I was wearing a baggy sweatshirt. What would Daddy have thought if he'd seen them?

The rest of the evening, I was so totally on edge. I didn't know how to act around him. I mean, this is Daddy we're talking about. I've known him all my life, or I thought I knew him, anyway. Where did all this come from? And I just didn't feel... safe. You know, the way I always felt around Daddy.

But at the same time, I felt giggly. Excited. Nervous, but hyperaware of everything. The way he moved. The way he looked in his casual t-shirt and jeans. The way his aftershave smelled when he'd kissed me on my neck. The rasp in his deep voice. I was skittish, both anticipating and frightened of the next kiss.

Which did come, BTW, diary. I was doing the dishes after dinner, putting plates in the dishwasher, when he came up behind me. My hair was in a pony-tail, of course. I heard him coming, and I just tensed up. But his hands on my shoulders were so familiar, so reassuring.

"Mmmm," he murmured. "I can see here." I felt his warm breath on the back of my neck, and then his lips, gentle, teasing, pressed against where my shoulder met the base of my neck. I couldn't help it; I felt such a tingle down my spine at the touch. I swear, diary, it shot right down into my place.

God, I'm so bad for writing that.

But it's true. And that's why it's so super secret, diary, so if you go telling anyone, we'll never be friends again.

I'm sooooo embarrassed.

My Daddy made me hot between my legs.

Jesus, I'm hot right now, just thinking about it.

Can I tell the truth, here? I mean, it's just you and me, diary, right? Nobody looking over my shoulder, reading what I'm writing. Okay, thanks.

I wanted so badly just to spin around in his arms and kiss him on the mouth. Isn't that gross? I'm such a bad girl. To want to kiss my Daddy back for making me feel so good. But it's all his fault, right? He started it. He made me feel this way. He got my engines revving, and I've got no outlet ever since stupid effing Matt broke up with me. So it's Matt's fault too. Not my fault.

Truth is, I froze. I even dropped the plate I was holding so it fell into the sink and shattered. I was so nervous! What if... I mean... what if he'd been, like, hard, or something? And I, like, so did not want to find that out. Only I did, too, at the same time. I wanted to know that he was not just playing around with me, you know? That he really meant what he was doing. And if he'd been hard, I would have known. Only I didn't really want to know that either!

OMG, I'm so fucking confused.

Anyway, he helped me clean up the broken dish, acting the whole time like nothing was different between us. But I was shaking. Shaking, I tell you! I made some excuse and high-tailed it up to my room, closing the door behind me before collapsing on the bed. And maybe I cried a little, diary, but maybe I touched myself a little also.

Just now, he called good night to me through the door. I didn't hear any remorse in his voice. I'm so tired.

May 17

Hi, Diary. Sorry for skipping yesterday. Does that make me a bad friend? I hope not, only everything's so topsy-turvy now! I didn't want to even write anything, 'cause...

Well.

Let's just make sure this all stays like completely super secret, okay? Because what I'm going to write now is too fucking weird to get out.

I'm falling for my Daddy.

No, totally! This whole situation is out of control. And I don't want it ever to stop! It's like all the time falling head over heels. I finally understand exactly what that means. Matt? Total loser. Even Jimmy from Freshman year... just a crush.

But Daddy...

Daddy.

Daddy.

OMG, Daddy!

So, maybe I was still asleep when I came downstairs yesterday morning. Everything that had happened the night before, those two so inappropriate kisses just like a dream, that I didn't even think about what I was wearing.

Uh huh, Diary. You get it. I was wearing my typical pjs: spaghetti strap cami and boxers. And the cami? You know the one, it's only a half-cami, really, just enough to cover my boobs and the top half of my abdomen. Okay, okay, I know I'm like completely obnoxious about how good my tummy looks. But I like it uncovered. It's important for a girl to be proud of what's sexy.

Anyway, Daddy was up, as he always is, getting his coffee, getting ready to go to work. But he stopped and looked at me when I came in the room, one eyebrow raised in that typical Daddy way.

And I just mumbled good morning on my way to the coffee mugs. Had to get my morning fix too, right? Well, look. No matter what I think about how hot my tummy looks, or whatever, I know that I'm a fright in the morning, my hair flyaway out of my ponytail, my eyes half-closed, shuffling along. But Daddy just looked at me as I walked across the room.

"Good morning, Kitten," he said. "I can see an awful lot."

I froze.

Everything came tumbling back. Oh, God. What had I done?

I blinked several times. No coherent words came to my brain.

"Uh..."

"You know what that means."

"Huh?" See what I mean?

"We made a deal, didn't we, Kitten?"

"Um..." A real brilliant conversationalist this early in the morning, me. But did I make a break for it? Attempt to find something to cover myself up? Anything? Nope. Just stood in the middle of the room, arms at my sides. And truth to tell, my heart was pounding, scared... hopeful.

"All right, then," Daddy said, and closed the distance between us. I stared at him, this strange man in my father's body, this desirable, sexy, commanding... male. "I used to give you strawberries down here," he murmured as he bent down in front of me. "Different situation now, hmm?"

And he kissed me. Oh, diary, he kissed me. Right on my tummy! Right over my belly button (I'm a real deep innie, BTW). And his breath was so warm, so caressing. Shivers all through me, my hairs all standing up on end. And God, he was so close to down there. (Damn, have to start coming up with a better word for that.)

One hand around my waist to steady me, the other right on my spine. And his lips on me. Daddy's lips... and his tongue! Oh, Jesus, his tongue, lightly probing my navel. I stood there, half-enduring, half-reveling in his attention. And yes, my nips were totally hard, and I was hot to my core, right deep in my pussy.

There, I said it.

My little hot pussy was throbbing because my Daddy kissed me.

You see what I mean about falling for him? No other guy had ever done that to me.

Only Daddy.

I kind of fell backwards into a chair, my eyes glazed. It was like I'd almost had a little orgasm, right there, in the kitchen. I was shaking. And Daddy just got up and got me a coffee. I couldn't tell how this was affecting him. I couldn't bring myself to look at the front of his pants as he stood in front of me. That would have been too much. Although he wasn't trying to hide himself or anything.

And all day long, all I could think about was Daddy... his kisses... how I felt when he kissed me...

But I also was freaked out, you know? Actually kind of scared. What was going on? How far would this go? Would I let him, you know, kiss me anywhere? I mean, I knew I was supposed to be in control. He had set the ground rules, and it was up to me to decide what I would let him do, I guess, but I wasn't sure I knew how to decide.

So I didn't. Instead I avoided him. I got myself dinner before he got home and hid in my room, the door closed. When he knocked to tell me he was home, I yelled out that I was busy with homework. He didn't push it.

But my homework was sitting undone, diary. I know, I'm always such a good girl when it comes to school, but tonight my mind was running in so many different directions. I knew I couldn't hide forever.

And then, oh, then, super super super secret diary of mine, I had the bestest idea. I got into my pajamas and cracked open the door.

"Daddy! I'm ready for my good night kiss!"

Before he could even take one step on the stairs, I was ready. And when he came through my door, he chuckled. That wonderful sweet Daddy chuckle. Because I was completely under the covers, from head down, with the exception of my left foot, which was in the open. I wiggled my toes at him.

"Ready," I sang from under the blanket. I had Mr. Bear with me, hugging him tightly, giggling to myself. You see, diary? You see how brilliant I was? This way, he could kiss me, we could keep playing the little game we'd started, and I didn't even have to look at him. He could... well, I didn't want to think about what he could do since I couldn't see him, but I didn't have to worry about seeing something too scary, like his... thing. You know.

Anyway, the plan worked. Sort of.

"What do we have here?" he growled playfully. I giggled again and wiggled my toes. "Looks delicious."

Yeah, it worked. Right up to the point where I felt his lips against the sole of my foot. It didn't tickle. No...

Oh, diary. It felt good.

Too good.

Like, shock right up my leg straight to my pussy good. How was I supposed to know that was going to happen? And it didn't let up, either. He kissed gently along the edge of my foot before lightly licking between my big toe and my second toe.

I gasped, the laughter dying in my throat. There was this fire, this burning that started in my sex, a desperate itch that kept building.

It built while he suckled on my big toe, then moved to my second toe.

It built more with his long tongue swipe along the arch of my foot

It built higher with the firm kiss placed in the hollow of my ankle.

And when he moved back down toward my toe, the craziest thought entered my no longer thinking straight brain.

Diary, something said to me: he can't tell what you're doing under here.

Diary, it said, you could touch yourself and he won't know.

Diary, it said, go ahead! Feel yourself up!

And I did.

Oh, God, I did. With my Daddy right there, kneeling beside my bed, kissing and licking my left foot, my hand found its way into my pajama shorts, found my pussy wet and wanting, found my clit hard and buzzing.

With my Daddy running his tongue between my toes, I stroked and caressed myself, exploring between my folds, finding all those spots I love to touch so much. My breathing was ragged, my heart pounding. God, I'm such a slut, aren't I? Fucking jilling myself with my Daddy right there! But I couldn't help myself. I fooled myself into thinking that he had no idea.

I'm really blushing now, super secret diary. I can't believe how naughty it felt... how wonderful, exciting...

It was nearly stifling under there, my face damp with sweat. I had one finger deep inside of myself now, moving in and out, and another rubbing around my clit. I couldn't stop, nothing could stop me now... even if the blanket had just fallen off and my Daddy had seen me with my hand buried between my legs, I would have just kept going until I reached that moment.

And when it came, I pressed the heel of my other hand between my lips, desperately trying to stop the grunts of pleasure I was involuntarily releasing. I know there was no way, absolutely no way in heaven or hell that Daddy could not have known what was happening. I mean, I was shaking with the intensity of it.

But I was hidden.

He couldn't see me, and I couldn't see him.

So, Diary, I guess that made it okay, right? I mean, I couldn't be a slut if he couldn't see me, right?

As I lay there, coming down from the sweetest, most insane O of my life, Daddy finished his 'kiss.'

"Good night, sweetie," he said softly, oh, so lovingly. No crass remarks, no sign that he knew what I'd done.

"Good night, Daddy," I said shakily, still under the covers. I knew, just knew, that if I looked at him, I'd see his thing sticking out hard in his pants. I wanted so much, so much to be able to see it, to get that reassurance that he was feeling something like what I was feeling. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to lower the covers. "I... I love you."

There. Diary, I said it. Oh, you absolutely must must must keep that a secret, that I meant every word of those three words in the way that I was not supposed to.

"I love you too, honey," he said, his deep voice sounding a bit thick, and I heard him walk away.

How was I going to get to sleep after that?! But I did. And you know, it was such a great sleep, too. Completely relaxing. I woke up this morning feeling so refreshed, so content.

So I'm writing all this down this morning, trying to come to grips with all of what's happened. I mean, what's a girl supposed to do, when she's fallen in love with her own Daddy?

I'm so glad you can keep a secret like this, diary dearest. Because my little messed up mind has come up with a plan for this morning. I think I know exactly what this girl's gonna do.

Tell you about it later, kk?

May 17 (evening)

Well, I'm just turning into a regular little diarist, aren't I? But, you see, diary, I've got so much to tell. You're just the bestest little buddy in the world to sit here and listen to everything I say. Kind of takes the place of losing control and blabbing to Madison about all of this. So, thanks, I guess.

This morning... oh, wow. I really went and did it. Remember how I had a plan, and all? Well, you know how my plans have been turning out lately. But that wasn't going to stop Fiona, no way.

So, you know my usual pajamas? You know, the spaghetti-strap cami top and the boxers, right? I know, I know, I told you all about them earlier today. Only this morning, I decided to alter them a little. No, not the boxers! OMG, that would just be way too much. No, I took some scissors, and changed the cami.