Emily woke up to yellow light flashing across her face. She opened her eyes, blinking several times to focus on the ceiling. She wasn't home, the light was different. And her head was hurting.
'Where am I?' she wondered, slowly turning her head left, toward the moving rays of sunlight, shining through a tree just behind the window. Definitely not at home.
She looked the other way to see Stephanie sitting on a chair next to Emily's bed, dressed in an old red T-shirt and blue sweatpants. She was slumped, head nodding forward, bobbing slowly up and down with every breath. Her brown hair was hiding most of her face, but Emily could see she was sleeping.
"Steph-" Emily tried to say, but her throat was so dry, it came out as little more than a whisper. She tried to swallow to get rid of the dry feeling.
Stephanie must have just been nodding off, because her eyes blinked open. She straightened herself and brushed her hair back, looking at Emily, smiling warmly. Emily noticed Stephanie was holding her right hand in her lap, now gripping it tightly.
"Em," Stephanie said in a gentle tone, then squinting at the window, "The light must have woken you."
She put Emily's hand down on her bed, walked over to the window, closed the blinds and returned to her chair next to the bed.
"Steph, what happened?" Emily asked, following Stephanie with her look, "Where am I?"
"You don't remember?" Stephanie's face frowned in concern as she took Emily's hand again.
Holding hands? Stephanie could be considerate, but this much affection was not common for her. It worried Emily.
"Can you tell me what you remember?" Stephanie asked.
The younger sister looked tired. Her hair was disheveled and her green eyes, now tightly focused on Emily, had the beginnings of dark circles under them, with tiny red veins around the whites. Has she been crying? Emily remembered flashes of Stephanie's panicked voice, her dad shouting Emily's name.
"I was.. I was in an ambulance. I think. The medic was asking about my memory too. He said I had a concussion. And a dia- something OD."
"Diazepam overdose." Stephanie finished for Emily, gripping her hand tightly, "You ate most of dad's Valium."
"We were going to dad's hospital. They took my blood. And examined my head," Emily continued, "Where is dad?"
"He went for breakfast," Stephanie answered, smiling carefully, "I think you'll get special service at this place."
Feeling an itch, Emily touched her head with her left hand. It was bandaged. Then she noticed a tube from her left arm leading to a pack with transparent liquid hanging next to her bed.
"That's the IV, you were dehydrated," Stephanie explained, "And the bandage is from-"
Stephanie's voice fell silent and Emily looked back to her. Her sister's mouth was crooked and she was blinking quickly, trying to suppress a sob.
"-when you hit your head, back home, in the bath," Stephanie continued, her voice getting muddy as she rubbed her eyes with the back of her left hand, "Sorry. Em, I was so scared!"
"I'm sorry," That was the only thing Emily could say. Her eyes were starting to sting too. Last night's events were coming back to her and her sister's affections were making it hard not to respond.
"No," Stephanie was shaking her head. She looked at Emily, talking quickly, "I read your text. I should be saying that. I'm so sorry Em. I could never hate you! All the stuff I said wasn't true, it's all my fault! Can you forgive me?"
"It wasn't all your fault, but of course I forgive you." Emily said with a smile, "Come here."
Stephanie stood up and quickly closed the distance, hugging her tightly, "Thank you Em. Thank you. I love you."
Emily was weak, but hugged her sister as tightly as she could. She could feel the girl shaking as she sobbed, finally letting her emotions take over.
She wanted to apologize to Stephanie too, to seek forgiveness for everything. But there would be time to talk. The world was back to normal again. Emily could manage now.
Then Stephanie pulled back, somewhat suddenly. Trying to wipe away her tears, she looked away and said, "But, the doctor said you need rest. I shouldn't disturb you. You need to heal. Only that is important now. Just promise me-" Stephanie said carefully, standing next to Emily, now again clinging to her right hand and looking down at it, "that you won't, you know, try-"
"Try to kill myself again?" Emily asked.
Stephanie nodded, "I'll do anything. Just promise that one thing."
"I already feel much better. Don't worry. I promise."
Stephanie smiled again through her tears. She seemed happy, but the physical signs and emotional behavior told Emily how tired her sister really was.
"You probably didn't get much sleep last night, right?"
"It doesn't matter, you're more important," Stephanie said quietly.
"Nonsense. Come," Emily said as she scooted to the left half of the bed and lifted the sheet, "Lie down next to me. There's enough space."
"You'd be OK with that?" Stephanie hesitated.
"I think I could relax better if you were close," Emily tried to convince her. She saw it wasn't enough for Stephanie to hear that Emily wasn't angry, being close would help her as well. It was also sort of cute and reminded her of a simpler time, when they used to cuddle as kids.
"OK, maybe just for a minute. Just so you can relax," Stephanie said as she sat down on the bed, then turned to lay on her side, facing Emily. She took hold of Emily's hand again. Her tense features relaxed and within a minute she was sleeping deeply, breathing regularly. Emily watched her sister's peaceful expression for a few minutes, before nodding off as well.
--
The next night Emily was laying in her bed, eyes closed and lights off, thinking about the day's events.
Stephanie slept through most of the day right there in Emily's bed. Dad seemed a bit baffled, but also glad his daughters were getting along again. After a visit from a psychologist, Emily was released from the hospital in the afternoon. She tried to frame her suicide motive as being rejected by a boy, along with being confused sexually towards a female friend, which wasn't all that far from the truth. She could stay home as an outpatient, visiting the hospital for checks on Wednesday and a week after that.
Both girls had a missed call from Sam, but Emily was too embarrassed to call her back and Stephanie just couldn't be bothered.
