Leah came from a very happy home, and her parents' sexual harmony no doubt contributed to the joyfulness and sense of security that surrounded her. In high school, she was a strong lacrosse player, and by her junior year she was being recruited for scholarships. Things were almost story-book perfect until one day when her mom came to pick her up after practice. As they hugged, her mom dropped the car keys.
"Oh damn, I seem to have the dropsies lately," her mom grumbled, "I can't seem to hang on to things very well today." They thought no more of it, but her mom did seem to have trouble holding on to things. When she developed pain in her wrists, her husband made her go to the doctor.
Shortly after that, they were sitting together after dinner, and Leah's dad said to her, "Honey, there's something that we need to tell you. We got word from the doctor that your mom is very sick—in fact, she may not get well." Leah gasped and looked at her mom, who smiled wanly and nodded.
"Yes, dear," she said, "they tell me that I have ALS—it's known as 'Lou Gehrig's disease'—and it's incurable. They say that I have five more years left to live at most," she ended softly.
The room seemed to spin and Leah thought that she might faint. She grasped the edge of the table for support. Then she began to cry. Her dad got up and put his arm around her.
"Stand up," he commanded softly and she obeyed. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close. "We will always be a family and we'll always take care of each other. If we have that, nothing really bad can ever happen to us," he assured her.
Although she had a rough night, life was strangely normal the next day. Her parents went to work, she went to school, and the day went on as though nothing had changed. Soon the rhythm of life pushed the horrible reality of her mom's illness into the background. Over the next two years, though, Leah could see that her mom was getting worse. She was having more trouble walking and performing daily tasks.
When it came time to choose a college, Leah opted to stay near home even though she had offers from great programs. Her parents wanted her to take advantage of the opportunities, but she insisted that she wouldn't be happy unless she could be near home. She wanted to see her mom often and to help her dad as much as she could. Her parents didn't argue—they were grateful that they would have their daughter close during the trying times ahead.
By her sophomore year of college, things were very bad, and each day brought a fresh horror of weakness and disability to her mother. Mercifully, her mom passed away in December. As difficult as it was, both Leah and her father thought it a blessing.
Leah decided to take the rest of the year off to help her dad. They realized that Leah could transfer to one of the top schools; with her mother gone, there was no reason to stay near home. Besides, her dad wanted to move. He felt like he needed a change, but didn't really know where he wanted to go.
After a few inquiries Leah found a team that was a good fit and arranged a transfer. Her dad considered several options and talked with Leah before finally deciding they would both move to the same town—she'd attend school and he would move his business. The new area actually had some great opportunities for him too. They moved over the summer and were well settled when school started in the fall.
The move worked for them both: Leah was happy with her new team and school, and her dad's business was more successful than ever. That summer, Leah moved out of the dorm and into a bedroom in her dad's house and they had a good time getting reacquainted. Her dad had been adamant that moving into the house shouldn't affect her having a "normal social life for a beautiful coed," so she continued to go out with her friends without keeping curfews. Leah was very grateful that she had an understanding dad.
One night, she was out late with her friends and came back home rather late. She headed up the stairs softly, but was arrested by the sounds coming from her father's room—angry, animalistic sounds. She realized with horror that it was her father's voice. Concerned that something was very wrong she went to the door to see if he needed help. The words she heard, though, froze her in her tracks.
"Goddam you, Mary, you bitch. Why did you leave me alone like this? I miss you so much—I need you still. You're so beautiful....Oh fuck, I'm going to come all over you...yeah...you'll still like it just like you did before.....Oh my God, what am I doing? I can't do this." Then he began sobbing.
At that moment, Leah realized just how difficult her father's life was. He was consumed with grief, but he still had physical needs. Her heart bled for him, but she didn't know how to help except to try to talk to him. She knocked softly on the door. "Dad? Are you ok?" she asked.
She heard the sounds of frantic movement. "Just a minute," he called out, "I'll be right there." Her dad finally opened the door. He was in his bath robe. "Hi, honey," he said red-faced, "back so soon?"
"I just came up and heard...well, it sounded like you were crying, and I just wanted to see if you...needed anything," she said awkwardly.
"No. I don't need anything....your mother...I mean...you know, honey, it's hard to be alone, but time heals all wounds. Everything's ok. Really. And having you around makes everything better. Go to bed and we'll both feel better in the morning."
Leah went to bed, but didn't sleep. She was worried about her dad. She knew that there was more wrong with him than just his grief. He was a man with physical needs and no outlet. She knew that he would never use a prostitute or take a lover—and he was light years away from wanting to re-marry. No, she thought, this problem needed a solution that was more immediate. She fell asleep as she turned things over in her mind.
The next morning she awoke with a flash of insight. "Of course," she thought, "it's so obvious." The problem was going to be to get her dad to accept her help. Her mom, though, had always told her, "You can do anything if you put your mind to it."
Leah smiled as she brushed her hair. Well mom, we're going to put that theory of yours to the acid test, she said to herself.
Her dad was downstairs and was looking a lot better than he the night before. Leah wondered if he had managed to complete what he had started, but a quick glance revealed a large bulge in his sweat pants. She wasn't sure how or when to put her plan into operation. She figured that she'd just have to bide her time and be opportunistic.
Her dad went to work, and Leah spent her day working out and practicing with her teammates. When they went to bed, Leah crept silently down the hall to see what was going on in her dad's room. The sound of snoring greeted her; apparently the two glasses of wine with dinner had got her dad some much-needed sleep. Leah chuckled softly and went back to her room. Patience was a virtue, she told herself.
Over the next few days, she began to re-live her childhood: softly creeping down the hall at night to check on parental sexual activity. Later that week she finally heard what she had been waiting for. Her dad was again raging as he masturbated over a picture of her mother.
Leah silently prayed that he would get the job done this time. She closed her eyes and tried to will the needed outcome, but yet again her dad was overcome at the end and couldn't finish.
She imagined the coach putting her in off the bench, "Ok, Leah," she thought to herself, "it's time to step up." Then she added out loud, "I hope you're with me on this one, mom."
Just as her father was sobbing "Oh God, Mary, I can't, I can't," Leah abruptly pushed open the door.
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?" her father shouted. "Get out right now. I mean it, Leah, get your ass out of here RIGHT NOW," he bellowed. He was naked with his dick in his hand. A picture of her mom in a bikini was on the bed.
