Taing in Sister

I was sitting at my computer writing and sipping coffee when my phone rang. It was my only living relative, my older sister in Texas. She was crying hard and, through sobs, told me her husband Jay had died in his sleep. He was diabetic, and had already lost both legs. She had quit her job and taken care of him for a couple of years before he died. I took the first flight to help her with the arrangements and be a silent shoulder to lean on.

Sarah was a great big sister. Growing up, she took care of me and protected me when I needed it. I love her dearly. She was a beautiful girl and had blossomed into a beautiful woman, inside and out.

When I arrived, she met me at the door. I came in and I hugged her tight, and she burst into tears. I'm 6'4, but she can't be more than 4 inches shorter. I am used to women being closer to a foot shorter. Instead of crying against my chest, her face was buried against my shoulder and neck. Having her crying so close to my face and ears was heartbreaking, probably more so because the sounds were so clear. My heart was breaking for her.

She hugged me tight and cried hard for a couple of minutes. She was prscticallywailing at times. I felt so powerless, unable to protect my dear sister from terrible pain. She finally got her crying under control and pulled back enough to look at my face, but she didn't let me go. She has the most striking gray eyes you have ever seen, but they were not beautiful today, They were red and puffy. She said, "I'm sorry, I-"

I hushed her, "Sarah, you can cry on my shoulder as long as you need to, That is why I came." She sobbed, buried her face and started crying loudly. I thought I might have been making it worse, instead of better. "Is my hugging you making it worse?" She shook her head and hugged me tighter. She cried for a couple more minutes. She slowed and finally stopped. She held me a few more seconds and finally let me go. I took her hand and led her to the sofa and we sat.

"Oh Bill, it was horrible. I woke up and I instantly knew Jay was dead. I held him and cried for a long time, it may have been an hour." She sobbed. "I can't get it out of my mind for a second. I feel like it is destroying me. Did you feel like that when Terri died?" I put my arm around her and pulled her close. She was crying softly, with an occasional sob.

"It only feels that way, Sarah. You are the strongest woman I have ever known. As terrible as it feels, believe me, time heals. It is a slow process, but you will get through it. It doesn't help to fight it or try to stuff your feelings. You need to mourn and shed those tears. The hardest part for me was being alone."

She turned and looked into my eyes. "It doesn't hurt any less, but when I cried on your shoulder I felt some comfort. Being alone has been a horror."

"Let me make you a cup of tea, or coffee if you don't have any." She told me where the tea was. As the water was boiling, I asked, "Have you eaten at all?" She just shook her head. "Let me make you something, you need your strength. I'll make you some soup, okay?"

"I'm not really hungry." As the tea was boiling I could hear her crying.

I put our tea on the kitchen table, took her hand, and led her to a seat. "Come sit close by while I fix your soup. You don't have to talk, but I'm here if you need to."

She talked and sipped her tea. She would stop at the worst parts and just sit as tears ran down her face. I brought her tomato soup and a grilled cheese. "Thank you, but I can't eat." But, after a minute, she tried the soup. She had a spoon full, took a tiny bite of grilled cheese, and then attacked the grilled cheese. I grinned. I make killer grilled cheese. The secret is mayo and butter, I knew if she tried it she would eat the whole thing. She ate every bite and most of a large bowl of soup. She hadn't said a word. She looked up, "I was hungrier than I thought, thank you."

She slept that first night on the sofa. I came out in the morning and she was on the sofa, sleeping. When she woke up I asked her why. She said, "I can't go into my bedroom. I keep seeing Jay on the bed" She burst into tears.

I held her and said, "Sarah, sleep in the guestroom.

"Are going to sleep in my bed?"

"No, I don't think I could either.

"I'm not going to make you sleep on the sofa! Absolutely not."

"Okay, I'll sleep in your bed."

"Don't lie to me, Bill. Your terrible at it."

Sarah is pretty strong willed, and arguing won't change it. I tried for a few minutes, before surrendering.

That night she shook my shoulder. She was crying and was wracked with sobs. "Can I lay here for a minute? I can't be alone right now."

"Of course, come on. She climbed in bed and curled up to my side as I put my arm around her, with her head on my chest. I put my hand on her forearm which was across my chest. in minutes she was asleep. When I woke in the morning her head was still on my chest, and one leg was bent over my thighs. I needed to go to the bathroom, but I didn't want to disturb her. My arm was under her and had been holding her. It had fallen flat during the night, so I raised it and very gently held her with it. Her arm was across my abdomen, and I softly put my hand on her upper arm. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I just held her.

She finally woke up after about an hour. She didn't move, she just quietly asked, "Bill, are you awake?"

"Yes."

"Can I stay like this a minute?"

"Of course, honey, whatever you want."

I softly stroked her arm and held her tight. After about ten minutes, she rolled off of me. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be silly, you didn't exactly crush me."

"I feel comforted when you hold me, it makes facing this bearable. Waking up being held-" She broke off and cried softly for a minute.

"That's what I am here for, honey. You never need to apologize, I want to comfort you, I'm just sorry I'm helpless to do more."

She wrapped around me again, "Don't feel like that, you have taken care of everything, fed me, and comforted me. I don't think I could have gotten this far without my rock." She squeezed me.

"Sarah, I love you dearly, and I love holding you, but if I don't get up I'm going to wet your bed." That got the first laugh since I arrived.

When I came out of the bathroom and she went in, I was still in my boxers, so I put on my shorts. When sh came out, I said, "Sarah, A warm bubble bath is very relaxing. Will you allow me to run you one? I'm assuming you have some, I know you loved them growing up."

That got a tiny smile, "I remember, and you always waited patiently to take a shower. I have some bubble bath under the sink, maybe taking one will help."

I ran her a nice hot bubble bath. There were three candles together in the bathroom, and I lit them. I shut off the lights and called her in. "Is this okay or do you want the lights on?"

"No, this actually looks inviting."

"I'll be sitting right here in the bedroom. I'm going to sit here and drink some coffee. Call me if you need anything. I thought it might be a comfort to have someone close. I went and poured a cup and came back to sit. After maybe twenty minutes, she called softly, and I opened the door a couple of inches, "What do you need, honey?"

"Can you come in, I'm decent." I went in and she was in the tub, with bubbles almost to her shoulders. "Can you heat the water up? Is that okay? I don't want to move."

"Sure." I reached between her feet and opened the drain.

I was letting water out for a couple of minutes and she said, "Are you letting the water out?"

I looked at her and her breasts were right there, almost halfway out of the water. I turned away and put my hand next to the drain, so I had a reason not to look at her. "Yeah, I'm going to run the hot now." The water had been awfully cool, so I had let a lot out. I thought it was low enough, I turned the hot up full and got up and grabbed the bubble bath. Added some to the stream and tested the water with my hand. When it started to really get hot, I said, "This water is really hot, be careful your feet don't get close." She drew her knees up. "When the tub water gets almost too hot, tell me and I'll quickly shut it off. The hotter it is, the longer you will be comfortable." I kept my hand on the tap so I still had a reason not to turn around. I shut it off when she said and walked out. I'll be outside here if you need anything."

"Thanks, Bill, you are too kind."

In about another twenty minutes, she called again. I cracked the door, "What do you need?"

"I dozed and I'm freezing, can you get me a towel out of the linen closet in the hall?"

I hurried and grabbed a towel. I opened the door, "Where should I put it?"

"Just hand it too me, I'm freezing!" I went to give it to her. She reached with the far arm and one breast almost came completely out of the water. I quickly turned my head. "What are doing? Quit playing around. I'm freezing, give me the towel!" I pushed it what I thought her hand would be and she snatched it. I took off.

I was sitting in the bedroom when she came out with a towel tied around her breasts. "What was that about? You were was an inch away from dipping the towel in the water."

"I almost saw more than I should, so I looked away."

"Your sweet. Did you peek?"

"No, I swear I didn't."

"I'm teasing you, of course you didn't." She leaned her rear against the bed. All of her extra height must be legs, they were a mile long. As tall as she is, the towel looked like a miniskirt. That's something else I didn't want to see. "Would you please get me some clothes out of my room?" I nodded. "I have some blue panties in the third drawer of the tall dresser. You can get me blue shorts, they are in the bottom drawer. Any blue shirt in the closet is fine, oh, get me a white bra, second drawer. Do you mind?"

"Of course not, I'll be right back." I went in and got her clothes. The drawer was full of frilly little panties. The only blue panties I found weren't pretty skimpy and sheer. I thought,"Why couldn't she wear granny panties?" I feel like a pervert, digging through her drawer and getting panties, especially like these." I opened the bra drawer and grabbed a lacy white bra.

I got the shorts and the first blue shirt I saw. I took them to her. I laid them neatly beside her. Unfortunately, my hand brushed her outer thigh right at the towel and I quickly straightened up. "Is this underwear okay?"

"Perfect, did you mind getting them?"

"No, not at all."

"I think you're lying, Your face is red. I know how men get about women's underwear, maybe I shouldn't wear them."

"Oh my god, I'm going to go to the kitchen and slit my wrists now, my body will be in the kitchen."

She laughed as I closed the door. "Well, at least I gave her a giggle and a laugh. I went in the kitchen and refilled my coffee instead of slitting my wrists.

In a couple of minute she called me back. I opened the door and she was dressed. "I am going to dry my hair, do you want to shower now?"

I did and I went in and hopped in.

The door opened a crack, "I'm coming in, stay in the shower." The shower curtain wasn't transparent, so she wouldn't see me. "Is it okay if I put on my deodorant and dry my hair? I promise not to peek." I said of course and went back to washing. It was uncomfortable being naked a foot from my sister with a half hard cock. The hair dryer started and in minutes I finished washing.

I shut the water off, "Can you hand me a towel?" She went and got one and came back, sticking the towel around the shower curtain. I dried and wrapped the towel around my waist. "I'm coming out," She didn't reply, so I stepped out.

She was drying her hair and holding it with the other hand. She had on shorts and the white lacy bra. I could see it in the mirror and it was very sexy. I have a weakness for lace on women's lingerie. The last thing I wanted was to think about was sexy and sister, two words that should never be together. I rushed out. I got some clothes out and started to dress. I put on boxers and shorts. The hair dryer was still running. I knocked, "Can you hand me my deodorant?"

She whipped open the door and drug me in by my arm. "Oh for god's sake, just stop already. They're boobs in a bra, big deal. You're making this awkward. Just put your deodorant on. You just need to get over it."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Oh, shut up. You apologize one more time I'm going to punch you."

I laughed, "Oh, you are soooo scary!"

We laughed and I put my deodorant on. I gave her a peck on the cheek. "Love you, Sarah."

I got dressed and went out reheated my untouched coffee, and plopped on the sofa. All of this was reminding me of growing up. When I was about thirteen, I realized my big sister was drop dead gorgeous. Worse, she got busty. She was almost three years older than me and I was secretly in love with her as well as lusting after her at night. I was ashamed, but that didn't help. I didn't get over it until she moved out at 19. I never told anyone, and I'm sure no one knew. I certainly didn't want to go down that path again. Once was shame enough. I was relieved she made a joke of it and made me realize I was being ridiculous.

In a few minutes she came out. Her hair was slightly curled. She has beautiful auburn hair and had obviously had used a curling iron, at least a little.. "Your hair looks nice. Feeling a tiny bit better?

"Yeah, I'm at least having longer times where I'm not crying my eyes out. Yesterday I couldn't function at all. Today you even made me laugh." She got coffee and sat close next to me and gave me a peck on the cheek. "Bill, I am so glad you came. It helps. I can't believe I can laugh and tease you." We both laughed.

"Okay, stop, I surrender."

We just sat and started talking. I told some silly story that was supposed to be funny, and tears started running down her cheeks. I held her. She cried much harder and I held her tighter. In a minute or two she stopped. I saw tissues on the end table and handed her a bunch. I said, "Shit, what did I say?"

"You didn't do anything, memories just pop into my head. You are doing exactly what I need." We didn't do much all day. I made us an early lunch and dinner later. I put funny movies on with the sound pretty low. Mostly she just stayed cuddled up to me. She was awful quiet, but she didn't seem to want to talk. I don't know if she even saw the TV, or just sat staring. Every so often she would cry, Most of the time I only knew because she wiped her eyes. Sometimes it overwhelmed her. All I could do was hold her and be a shoulder to cry on. No words are going to make it all better. It was heartbreaking.

When it was time to go to bed, she slept in the bed with me. I offered to take the recliner, but she said she really didn't want to be alone. She was wrapped around my side and I held her until we fell asleep.

A few days later she was in the bathroom crying when I woke up. I knocked, "Can I help?"

"Wait just a second." An instant later she came out, still crying. She sobbed and hugged me tight before I could turn a little. I had morning wood, but she didn't seem to notice or care. at all. I held her tight while she cried. My erection went away in a couple of minutes, thank god, and we were still standing there. Her crying finally tapered off and in a few seconds she let go.

I gave her a kiss on the forehead. She grabbed my head with both hands, brought my face down and gave me a short kiss on the lips. She let go, "Thank you, Bill."

"I made a pfft, "Glad to be here."

About three weeks after I got to Sarah's, we were sitting and having an evening decaf. She was no longer crying so often. She had moments she would tear up and other times she would cry silently. But he wracking sobs and desperate crying had tapered off. She said, "Bill, you have been wonderful. I don't think I could have made it without your help. You can go home now, you have done enough."

"Sarah, how does this house feel?"

Her eyes filled with tears, "Empty, and I keep reliving finding Jay. I can't sleep in that bed. I hate this house. I don't think I ever will be able to go in that room again."

"That's what I thought. How about flying up to Michigan to my house? You can take time to mourn, but you don't need to be alone in this house."

"I'm tempted, but I can't just leave it."

"I have no deadline or time clock, I can stay as long as you need me. But, if you want to go, of course you can. I already talked to a house sitter last week in case you decided to come up with me. I was waiting for a time to ask you. She will watch the place, get your mail, and throw out any food that needs to go. Please, it would mean a lot to me."

"You take such good care of me. It has been such a load off of my shoulders. Okay, but just for a few days."

I gave her a peck on the cheek. "Great, I'll arrange everything and get the house sitter. I was lucky and I got reservations for the following day. I helped her pack a bag. Okay, two bags. A heavy bag and a carry on. You know how women are, they always have what they need, because they bring everything they own. She brought enough clothes to stay a year, I think.

We flew out the next day. I got first class tickets, because I thought she would like it. She actually did. It distracted her from leaving, which was the point. She didn't get real dolled up, but her hair was done nicely and she was wearing some makeup, at least eyebrows. As we walked through the airports. I saw men stop and look. She is definitely striking. I walked close and held her hand. She looked at me. "There are guys staring at you. I want them to know you're with me."

"My protective big brother." She squeezed my hand.

"Little brother, you are way older than me."

She laughed, "That may be, but I don't think little fits. You're a giant."

After we landed in Detroit we picked up my car and headed to my house. "A Cadillac? Are you sure you're younger?"

Hey, I've got a macho truck at home." I pulled out and floored it for a second. It put her back in her seat. I slowed back down, "This old man's car has a supercharged 400 horsepower motor. Comfort and power, baby."

She laughed, "Just like you. This big gruff looking tough guy, and a gentle giant. You have been comforting me for weeks. Love you, Bill." I told her I did too.

A minute later, she said, "Boys and their cars." and shook her head as I laughed.

We lived 1500 miles apart, so for years our relationship was almost entirely online and texting. I got down to see her about once a year. It wasn't like we didn't care about each other, we just were very far apart and wrapped up in our own lives. My wife had died two years before, in a car crash. I had an idea of how hard it was going to be for Sarah. We drove up to my house and she looked surprised, "This is your house?"

"I hope so, I sleep in there every night."

"It's bigger than I expected, but very pretty." We went in and sat.

"Sandy had just died. I had to get out of my old house, it was just too painful. It has always been just me bouncing around in here. It was stupid to buy such a big house; it's a lot more room than I need, but I have grown to like it."

We were sitting and talking, She said, "This place is even bigger inside than it looks outside. Never a live in girlfriend to keep you company?" I snorted. "Do you at least have a girlfriend?"

"No to both."

"Have you tried dated much since Sandy passed??"

"Is not at all much? I am not even close yet to even consider another woman in my life. Maybe I'm taking too long to get over Sandy enough to move on. It is a process you can't really rush. It has it's own timetable, unfortunately. I'm sure I'll get there, just as you will. Enough of my problems. Let's go to the Coney Island and get a chili dog. You up for it?"

"Sure, that sounds good. Look, I'm just interested in your happiness."