"Homework," is the only word Taylor mutters one word upon entering the house. She disappears into her room, leaving me bewildered as I stand in the front room. I decide to finish the cleaning she started before I got up and end up doing a deep cleaning, much deeper than I had expected. I needed something to keep my mind from what happened earlier in the truck, and to try to figure out what is going on in her mind.
I try to think back to those day when I was just starting college, but the world was much different then. Cell phones and social media were not as prevalent then, and smart phones were not even thought of. The things we take for granted today in modern society were in their infancy, and communications, although better than a decade earlier, was still a toy for the rich, not everyone.
I am not sure I could have been as comfortable with everyone knowing everything about anyone, and how people are so willing to share the mundane details of their lives. I guess they also share their aspirations too. But I am not sure if having an affair with a family member is something girls, or even boys, share with the world.
I don't want to say something stupid to her which will ruin our familial relationship while at the same time crushing her dreams and fantasies. And fantasies are all this is. Nothing concrete that could be built upon. We are and always will be family, irregardless of what happens. I know I have had a rough time with the others in the family due to me moving so far from home, but this is the life I chose, and it seems like she has chosen me to be a part of hers.
I finish cleaning up and decide to make something special for dinner. Spaghetti is one of the staples of my diet and I am pretty good at making the sauce, if I say so myself. I haven't seen Taylor all day and I would have expected her to at least come down to have something for lunch, but she did not show. With dinner almost ready to serve, I knock on her door.
I hear something in response, but I am not sure if it was more of a 'go away, or a 'come in.' I crack the door and peek in. The lights are all off, except for her laptop on the desk. She is on the bed, and turns towards the door as I open it. Without an invitations, I walk in and head across the room. She buries her face in the covers and tries to ignore me as I sit lightly on the edge of the bed.
I wait five, ten, fifteen minutes before she looks at me. "You're not going away, are you?" she asks.
I reach out and touch her hair. Dragging my fingers through her curly locks, I reply, "No. I'm here until you get tired of me." She raises her head enough that I can see her tear streaked cheeks and puffy eyes. "Do you want me to leave?"
She shakes her head and I lean towards her. My hand strokes her hair for a few moments until I lay down next to her and wrap my arm around her prone body. She shudders as a sob wracks her lithe frame. She holds any more back and asks, "Do you want me to leave?"
"No," I reply quickly. "You are family and I love you."
"I love you too," she states. "But I think it is more than just being family." She looks at me and her upper lip wavers. "Don't make me leave." I can see she is frightened by the conflicting emotions she is experiencing.
"Let's pretend this never happened," I suggest.
"I, ah," she starts and stops. Thinking for a moment, she continues, "I am not sure I can, but I will try."
"Okay, that's a start," I say. "Now let's go get some dinner. You must be starving. I made spaghetti." A forced smile graces her lovely facade and I drape her up, out of bed and push her towards the kitchen.
She seems to be okay after two helpings and as she rinses the dishes before stuffing them into the dishwasher. "Do you want to watch some movies?" I ask. "It is the night before Halloween and I want to watch some scary movies tonight." She agrees and we end up on the couch sitting next to each other, the new norm around here, covered up with a blanket and all the lights are out, with the only source of illumination being the TV set.