Catherine felt dejected as she sat in the secluded booth of the café. She checked her watch. It was almost 2 o'clock. She hadn't done anything like this in 20 years, that is to say, break up with a man. It had been more difficult than she'd ever thought possible. She'd clearly broken his heart; he'd left the café in a quick huff. Catherine knew she'd done the right thing, but it still pained her to hurt Thomas like that, but the simple fact was that she'd crossed a line with him that no mother ever should. Catherine nervously drank her cup of tea for the next half-hour or so, just trying to soak in how things had gotten to this point with her son.
Catherine's marriage to her husband Brian had never been especially unhappy, just passionless. She'd been content with that throughout her 20's and 30's, but by the time she'd reached forty Catherine felt stuck in a rut. She'd tried everything to re-kindle, or more like kindle for the very first time, any type of spark between herself and Brian, but he seemed more disinterested in her now than ever before. He wasn't a cruel man, just a cold one. Even at forty, Catherine was still an attractive woman, but it wasn't just her dried up sex life that was keeping them apart. They'd never really connected as a husband and wife should, even when they first got married. It was just more apparent now than when she was younger.
As things got worse with Brian, Catherine got lonelier and lonelier. The only good thing that seemed to come out this was that she grew closer to her son Thomas. She never dreamed it would ever become more than that; never dreamed that the spark of passion that had so long eluded her in her relationship with her husband would suddenly ignite with her own son. Yet somehow, over the course of several months, it had happened. At first things remained platonic, but the more time they spent together the more things just seemed to "click" between them. She began to see qualities in Thomas that started to make her wonder what it would be like to have something more with him. He was loving, sensitive... all of the things she cared for in a man. Thomas was a strapping young lad too; as Catherine's affections for him changed her appreciation for his developing physique changed as well. Actually, she "noticed" Thomas much earlier than that, but now her desires became harder and harder to control. It felt awkward at first, having such un-motherly thoughts about her own son, but at the time Catherine never believed anything would come of it. She was wrong.
One night when the two of them were alone in the house it had happened. There was a storm outside, and the power to the house had gone out. The two of them had come home from the movies, soaked to the bone and shivering from the wind and the rain. After changing into some dry clothes Catherine went to pour them some brandy to heat themselves while Tom set about to get the fireplace going. And so they sat on a rug in front of the crackling fire, talking and drinking. Tom had a large cotton blanket wrapped around them to help keep them warm, although between the fire and the brandy it probably wasn't necessary. It was nice and toasty, nestled together like this, and altogether romantic. Catherine hadn't intended for anything sexual to happen, but when Tom took the initiative and pressed his hot lips to hers, she couldn't help but melt into his arms. As cliché as it sounds, nothing wrong had ever felt so right. Even thinking about it now brought a tear to Catherine's eye; she could almost still hear the sound of the falling rain that night as she and Thomas tenderly explored their passions for each other in front of the crackling fire. Nothing about it felt awkward; in fact, it had all been so... perfect. The next few weeks were as tumultuous as they were exciting as Catherine did her best to bridle her young, strapping lover. His exuberance was infectious, however, and despite all the risks she was taking in this relationship Catherine was having the time of her life.
After nearly a month, things started calming down, and Catherine started to reflect more on what was she was doing. It wasn't right, and more importantly, it wasn't fair to Thomas. She tried to tell him how she felt, but was too worried about hurting his feelings. Perhaps it was a more than that... the exhilarating ride of the last month had it's addictive properties as well, and for a time Catherine was unsure whether or not she was willing to give it up. Luckily, her senses finally had won out, hence the rendezvous with Thomas today. It had been hard on him, hard on both of them. Catherine finished her tea and set off for home. This was certainly unlike any breakup she'd had before, and with Thomas still living at home things were going to be hairy for a while. After what had just transpired, Catherine felt nervous about even having to face him again.
The next few days were extremely difficult. Thomas barely spoke to Catherine anymore, his despondent behavior getting progressively worse. Even Brian, who had never gotten particularly involved as a parent, noticed that something was terribly wrong with his son. He'd asked Thomas about it, but of course Thomas said nothing. Eventually, he approached Catherine.
"Catherine, what's going on between you and Tom?" he asked. "Is he avoiding you or something?"
"Well, if you must know, we had a bit of an argument," Catherine replied, "But it's nothing to worry about; he'll be fine in a day or so."
"Are you sure, dear? Maybe I can help." Brian said.
"Um, no, it'll be fine," Catherine answered. Of all the times Brian could've helped with Thomas, he had to pick this one. Catherine shook her head as she chuckled softly to herself, wondering how shocked Brian's face would be if he learned that the reason their son was upset was because she couldn't be his lover anymore. Catherine quickly admonished herself for seeing anything humorous in such a scene. Her sense of humor could be a bit perverse at times, although considering the moral indiscretions she'd committed over the last month... a ribald sense of humor was the least of Catherine's worries.
Nothing changed for the next two days, and Catherine was beginning to worry. Moreover, Brian was asking her more and more questions about what had happened between her and Tom. Catherine had thought that giving her son some time and space alone to work things out was the best idea, but it wasn't working. It was time to have a talk with him again. It was a Saturday. Brian was out playing golf with his friends and Thomas was in his room studying. Catherine mustered enough courage and walked up the stairs to her son's room. When she got there, she lightly rapped on the closed door.
"Thomas? Can I come in?" Catherine asked.
"Uh... yeah. It's open," Thomas replied. Catherine opened the door and shut it behind her. Tom was sitting on his bed with a number of textbooks open, doing his homework. His eyes briefly darted up at her when she came in, but then returned to the book he was reading.
"Tom, we need to have a talk," Catherine said. Her son's expression remained the same. A bit irritated, Catherine barked, "I expect you to look at me when I'm speaking to you." Thomas closed the book in front of him and looked up. Catherine could see the pain in his eyes, the same pain that had been there on the day she'd broken up with him. Knowing that she was the cause of such pain to her son was almost enough to make Catherine cry.
"Dear, this has to stop," Catherine said, her voice becoming soft again. "It's time for you to move on."
"How can I?" Thomas replied, fighting back his own tears now. "How can I go on wondering how something so great could just end so suddenly? I wish I knew how to fix it; make things right again. I wish I knew what I did to make you not want to be with me anymore."
"Dear, we've already been through this. You didn't do anything 'wrong.' In fact, our time together was wonderful." Catherine quickly regretted saying that sentence. After pausing for a moment she continued.
"Thomas, we can't continue what we've been doing. It's not fair to you, not fair to your father."
"Oh, don't give me that crap about him!" Thomas exclaimed. "You've been miserable with Dad for years."
"I've never cheated on him before," Catherine said.
"Doesn't mean you're happy," Thomas sharply replied. "Tell me something, if I wasn't your son would you be cheating on Dad with me?"
"I don't know... maybe," Catherine stammered, clearly caught off guard by the question and feeling a bit ashamed by her response. "I never intended for any of this to happen. If somebody had told me a year ago that you and I would become lovers I would have said they were crazy. I just got lonely, and you were there. And before I knew it, everything got out of control."
