This is a new story about a pair of siblings raising themselves up under the less-than-watchful eye of an uncaring mother. Its initial concept is based on a throwaway line from a story I saw a long, long time ago in a galaxy very, very close to this one. And, no; Star Wars is not otherwise involved.
Jake really hated his little sister right now.
OK, that was unfair. He loved his little sister - usually, but she had that knack younger siblings often have of being a complete pain in the arse. And tonight, she was being a real royal pain.
Jessica - Jessie to her friends and Jess to Jake (and
only
Jake) - had turned eighteen about a month ago now. Jake, her older brother by just over fourteen months, had gone all out and bought her a really nice silver necklace with a rabbit-shaped pendant on it. Jess loved rabbits, though she'd never owned one.
Their mother, Louise, had been almost sober that day and had bought Jessica a white cup with a gold letter J on it. That evening, Louise had filled the cup with some clear (but potently alcoholic) liquid, knocked it back, lost her balance and had a decision to make. She could drop the cup or the bottle. Really, it was no decision at all.
Expertly avoiding any risk of damage to the bottle, Louise twisted around and smacked the cup on the kitchen worktop, snapping the handle off and sending the main part of the cup falling to the ground to shatter like a bomb. "Clean this fucking mess up, one of you," Louise had slurred before stumbling off to bed with the bottle. They hadn't seen her for two days after that.
Jess didn't give a flying fuck about the cup. It was quite childish and the sort of thing you bought for some distant relative when you remembered that their birthday was today and you'd not gotten them anything. But she loved the little necklace.
The necklace was thin, light and the rabbit was also silver, but had black glass eyes that stood out. It had cost Jake too much. Jake had been so happy when he'd given it to her. Jessica's eyes had lit up and she had grinned and squealed and hugged him and made him put it on for her. He had, and it had fitted perfectly and he was reminded just how much he really loved her.
And now the stupid little bitch had fucking lost it! The chain, thin and - apparently - quite fragile, had snapped and, although she'd saved it from falling on the floor and put it in her coat pocket, it was now nowhere to be found.
Jessie was almost in tears. She loved her big brother and the necklace had been so cute and adorable and now it was just...gone. What was worse, Jake was angry with her for losing it and she'd not dared to tell him when (and, more importantly,
how
) the little chain had gotten lost in the first place. If he knew, he might get
really
upset.
"What the fuck, Jess? I mean, really? What the fuck?"
Jess tried not to cry. "I don't know what to say, Jay," she said, hitching for breath. Just like Jake was the only one who could call her Jess, she was the only one who could call him Jay. It was odd that she could shorten a monosyllabic name, but she had and - ever since - it was her pet name for him. It never failed to make him smile.
Until now. Jake was, most definitely, not smiling.
"Do you know what that thing cost me? Do you?" Jess shook her head. "Well it was...never fucking mind how much it was. It was a lot, that's enough."
"I know, Jay," she replied. "And... and I'm really sorry."
"Sorry? Fucking
sorry?
You're not going to get around me with a fucking sorry!"
"I'm not trying to get around you," she said, the tears coming back now. "I'm just saying. I'm really sorry!"
"Where did you lose it?"
"If I knew that it wouldn't be lost," she replied and smiled through the tears. Her heart leapt a little when Jake smiled back for an instant.
"You know what I mean," he said, all business once again.
Jessica didn't answer. This was the third time he'd asked her this - or something similar. She wouldn't tell him. Not now. Not ever. It was far too embarrassing.
"No answer, huh? Well, it's not fucking good enough, Jess. What the fuck happened to it? That's all I want to know. Tell me! I won't get upset; I promise! I'll even stop going on about it." He sighed. "It's a fucking twat you losing the necklace, but shit happens. I get that. I just want to know
why
!"
Jess was still not speaking about this. Her heart almost broke when he gave her a long, sad look and shook his head. "Fuck off then," he swore and stormed off to his room.
On the way, he looked into his mother's room. Louise wasn't there. According to a badly written note on the windowsill, she was "at a meeting" which was Louise-speak for "at the pub getting thoroughly rat-arsed". The note also said that they shouldn't wait up for her, which was Louise-speak for "I'm going to find some guy and go home with him and fuck him and then forget his name. Again."
Jake noticed the pile of dirty, discarded, slightly faded clothes on the floor. It was a common occurrence. He went in and threw them in the hamper about a foot from where the pile had been. He quickly checked the bed and was slightly surprised not to see a new pile of puke to clean up. This was almost a good day.
Somewhat spoiled by the lost necklace and the steadfast refusal of his sister to explain why, of course.
Jake went into his room. He sat in the old, creaking chair and swivelled on it. The chair had been a gift from his mother a few years ago. Before the drinking had gotten too bad. Jake knew why his mother drank; she missed his father who had gotten himself killed in a multi-car pile-up on the motorway back when Jake was just thirteen. It just wasn't an excuse as far as he was concerned.
Now the chair was old and the back leaned over alarmingly if he pushed back on it. It would break soon, he knew, and then he'd have to sit on the floor or his mattress. He, like Jess, no longer owned a bed.
Jake put his head in his hands. What the fuck had happened? OK - the necklace had snapped. It was annoying, but understandable. What wasn't understandable was this uncomfortable, almost defiant silence from his sister. They'd always been able to talk. About anything. The silence on this - what was a relatively minor thing, really - was disquieting. Jake didn't like it.
Back in the main room, Jessica was internalising. She wanted to tell Jake what had happened and yet she really, really didn't.
But she did want to tell him. Didn't she?
Yes.
No. Maybe?
Definitely.
Definitely
not
.
I don't think?
I don't
know
!
This had been going on for some time. What ultimately decided her was the memory of the look of disappointment on Jake's face as he left the room. She could deal with what had happened. (Just.) She was prepared to deal with the shit that would hit the fan when the truth was out. (She hoped.) But she could not deal with that look on her big brother's face.