This is a series of stories about unreal people in unreal situations; if your family is anything like this, please avail yourself of intense psychotherapy and serious pharmacology. As a great author once said about a completely different kind of story: "Persons attempting to find a narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot will be shot." (Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn)
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"Ow, ow. You little perv, that hurts." Justine D'Enfer's face wrinkled in pain as she lay naked on her bed with her legs splayed out. Justine was five foot eight: her one hundred and ten pounds were esthetically draped on her frame, resulting in lascivious hips, pert breasts and a wispy waist. She had bosom length chestnut hair and warm brown eyes that were now relaxing from a full squint. It was early afternoon, and twenty year old Justine was letting her nineteen year old brother Justin give her a Brazilian bikini wax.
Justin stirred the wax with a wooden spatula and shook his head. "You're such a baby; Mom used to take this without bitching. I spent six months learning to do this downtown so she wouldn't have strangers around her cunt, and Mom's such a perfectionist I had to be good. Not to mention she set me up with all her friends to keep in practice." He spread the prep oil on another patch of trimmed hair before applying the warm wax and cloth strip. "You should talk about something to take your mind off it; that's what all Mom's friends do when I do them." He was a muscular nineteen year old, six foot three, with short brown hair, friendly brown eyes, and a winning smile. He wore a brown t-shirt, jeans and flip flops as he worked on his sister.
Justine gave him a rebellious leer. "Yeah, I bet your teenie weenie is ready to pop after working over those old grey crotches. How come they all want Brazilian waxes?"
"You know those old sluts: always riding the latest trend. None of them looks like they did as teens: they've all had boob jobs, liposuction, Botox, peels, facelifts, ass crack bleaching. Those old broads will do anything to keep their rich sugar daddies happy. Get ready, here we go again."
"Ow, ow, ow. That was Mom, too, wasn't it?"
"No, Mom didn't do all that. She just liked being hairless and only wanted to do something about it every six weeks or so. I think Mom was up to something extracurricular pretty regularly, but she had some dirt on Dad to keep him around."
"Shit, I thought she'd had Botox at least. Well yes, Mom had something else going that provided your business among other things. I'll tell you more about that in a minute. Hey, hurry up with that lotion."
Justin anointed the freshly waxed area with a personal aloe vera mixture, and Justine purred as he worked it in. He moved over and prepped another area for treatment. "Turn over, please." She flipped over, spreading her cheeks wide. He continued as he spread the prep oil in her vertical smile: "They were disappointed that you weren't at the airport this morning to see them off."
Justine sighed. "Whatever. They're idiots: ripping people off and getting caught. Why do you think I wanted to go to boarding school? I got tired of their hypocrisy: they wanted me to be such a nice young virgin daughter to show off while they were two of the biggest pirates in town, wanted me to follow all their picky little rules, never let me have my kind of fun. I'm glad they got busted and I have no sympathy for their leaving the country to avoid jail. How come you got to stay? I thought you were completely under their thumb and they'd yank you out to keep them company?"
"No more, my slutty sister, no more. I hacked his computers and found out all his secrets,including the ones he's still hiding." He waxed the inside left cheek and applied the strip. "I found out how they set up ownership of the house and how they sent the money away; I busted them completely two weeks ago and they had to let me stay. They were pissed, but they had to deal with me if they weren't going to be broke in Morocco. Auntie Pru is our guardian until we turn twenty one, and then we have enough to live on forever. Here we go again."
"Ow, ow, ow, ow. Get that lotion in there, quick. Yeah, yeah, I guess you really know what you're doing, teenie weenie." Justine took a sip from the scotch on her night table and lay back as Justin prepared another area. "How many more?"
"Just a couple more, slut sister. Hang in there. Little bro is going to take care of you."
"Aren't you worried that the cops are going to find the same data you did? After all, they subpoenaed all Dad's records and hard drives. We could still be up shit's creek when this is all over if the find the wrong hard drives and disks."
Justin meticulously went about his work, reaching up to stroke her cheek and tease the side of her breast as it was pointed down onto the bed. "Not if they're smashed to dust sitting in a bag with rocks in at the bottom of the river. The supporting paperwork started the fire in the fireplace last night. They'll find documentation for what they know, but nothing new. The trial next week will be short and sweet; the folks will be exiles the rest of their lives and we'll be free of the manipulating bastards. Here we go again."
"Ow, ow, ow, ow. How much do the rich old bitches pay you for this?"
"A hundred a pop."
"Shit, they could get this cheaper at the salon."
"Yeah, but they would be seen coming and going with their names on the appointment books for others to see. I enjoy making them squirm and occasionally get a little reward for my silence."
Justine's eyes popped wide open as Justin prepared the last patch. "Do you fuck them, teenie weenie?"
He smoothed the last strips of cloth in place. "No, just some handjive; they've all grown teeth below their waists. I wish you'd stop calling me that. Last time."
"Ow, ow, ow, ow. Yeow, that was horrible. Get that lotion in there."
Justin started to work in more soothing lotion. "By the way, you should never taunt somebody who's waxing your asshole, sis."
Justine winced, "Sorry, teenie weenie."
Justin frowned and glared. "Things have changed since you went away to high school. Take a look at this." He dropped his trousers and shorts to display a monster stirring to reach nine inches.