This is the true story about the very first time my sister sucked me off. 'The first time', obviously implying that she's done it many multiple times since and as well with her pussy and ass and all that good stuff, because as it happens, as the universe imbued upon me because I was Ghandi in a past life I guess, my sister is the type of girl who loves to get stuffed full in every hole, and simultaneously howsoever that is a possibility. And she's not very shy around girls either, but that's usually a tequila-effect kind of situation and she doesn't do it without a dick involved (to my knowledge anyway). Man, you wouldn't believe it—it's unbelievably sexy and like living with a secret porn star and my sex life is awesome. BUT the very first time we started our fuck buddy relationship is a great story because my sister is also one of the dumb fuck craziest people on the planet and basically uncontrollable. She does what she wants, when she wants and she never gets told no because she is as all-American cute as cherry pie and her ass looks like two fluffy bowling balls mashed together. She calls herself (mainly when fluids are being privately transferred and whatnot) Tinkerballs, cause she looks and acts a lot like Tinkerbell and she says she tinkers but moreso with balls.
So it started on a regular February night about five years ago. A school night for my sister. She was going to school at a state college in the next town over and she had class the next day. She might have even had some big assignment to finish. I'm not sure, she barely talks about that stuff. But she does well enough so my parents leave her to be the manic pixie she is. I was 22 and back from college over a year, gloriously wasting my life away as an assistant baseball coach at a local high school with nothing to do til March, and I was hanging out on my room smoking weed and listening to zep while constructing a 1000 piece puzzle. Cause that's how cool I was (and totally still am). I don't remember what the puzzle was. But she always seemed to know when I was getting baked in my room and she always wanted to join in. We were always really close, closer to each other (even in age) than to our older brother and younger sister. Of course I had given thought to how it would feel slamming it into her from behind before, everyone in the neighborhood had, but something about the utter impossibility of my sister letting me fuck her put me off it for some reason. My inner pragmatic pervert I suppose.
Anyway that night, while often before I had begrudgingly packed her a bowl because she's the fairy princess and she gets what she wants, that night I resolutely refused her request. It was a tough week financially, some side jobs weren't working out and I was watching my checking account plummet. So I told her to bring in some of hers and we could smoke together.
"I don't have any," she said. "I'm out and broke too." And she gave me the adorable pouty no man can resist me puppy dog face.
But I had played this game before and I had become desensitized to her sickeningly adorable charms. Mostly they were kind of insulting to me by that point, like at some point I'd come around and fall for it again like one of her chump boyfriends. "Sorry Jac," her name is Jacqueline, "this has to last me. It's tough times for old Joe." That's my name. I'm Joe. "And I gotta smoke this batch slow cause it's gotta last awhile I think."
"Come on." With her gorgeous deadpan look. "Dude...c'mon. Dude...c'mon. Dude..." If I recall, at that time she was still made up from the day. Sexy winter time Barbie. Jacqui takes a lot of pride in her look and for good reason, it got her lots of free shit and stellar treatment.
"You come on Jac." I told her, "you can just get Mike" her main sex pet man, semi-boyfriend guy, "or some dude to get it for you. I gotta work a little bit harder for mine." I grabbed the bag and said something like "these are my remaining assets." I was in a bad way. And also I was pretty high for this experience, which I'd imagine is becoming obvious. So was Jacqui. This story is basically what Jacqui and I have cobbled together reminiscing since then.
Anyway, she offered to pay me later and I still declined til she sat back and started to look moody. She starts to enter whirlwind territory if that gets out of hand so I tried to reel her back in with a dash of hope.
"Retribution." I told her leaning back on the couth with her. Our heads were touching.
"What?" she said.
"Supply and demand woman," I said. "I need to be offered suitable retribution for my high value commodity. What are you prepared to offer?"
"A foot rub, " she said.
"Nope." I replied.
