The house was about the same; after all it had only been a few months since Mom had passed. Now it was our turn to determine what to do with all the furniture and belongings, the "our" being me and my two younger sisters, Millie and Jane.
I am Robert, or Rob as the family liked to call me and Millie is actually Mildred, but none of us liked that formal and somewhat antique name. We are not spring chickens, as I am 60, Millie 58 and Jane 56, but we have maintained good health and good physical conditions for our ages. Our Mom died at age 81 from the dreaded cancer and Dad had passed only the year before.
I was the first to arrive, opening the door to the musty smell of an unused house then opening the windows to let some of the late spring air filter through. It was strange walking through this small house now empty, no sounds of televisions, no smells of cooking or coffee or pipe tobacco and even stranger remembering that five of us had lived here. My wife had remained home, a school teacher, and could not get away. I knew my siblings would be alone as their spouses rejected the notion of helping, or of having to take off from work to help. It was after all our responsibility, not theirs.
I sat down in Dad's old recliner and listened to the sounds of birds chirping, a soft breeze whistling through the window screens and somewhere in my mind the sound of Mom calling me to dinner. I was amazed she had kept his chair all this time after he passed, and his pipes still on the side table, but Mom was somewhat sentimental like that. That was when I heard a car pull into the drive and the voices of my two sisters as they came to the door.
There were hugs, kisses, and tears, as you would expect, and then the discussion of what to do first, where to start, and what should be kept. The discussion seemed to go in a circle with neither of us agreeing. Soon the discussion broke into laughter as we realized the hopelessness of what we were doing.
Millie sat in the middle of the floor and patted the carpet motioning us to join her there. It was something from years ago, the three of us sitting there, talking, and being siblings again in this old house as if we were once again teenagers. We used to sit like this for hours playing card games or board games while Mom puttered in the kitchen and Dad sat in his chair reading the paper, but that was our younger years, years before I began driving and the girls began dating.
"Rob" Millie began as if changing the subject then out of the blue, "did you know that Jane wanted to fuck your brains out?" I saw Jane's mouth drop as I am sure mine did. Now, when I was young, say in my middle or late teens, I often resorted to many attempts to see one or both of them naked, but never succeeded and had masturbated many times to the thought of them, particularly Jane. I almost succeeded once but Dad came down the hall as I was trying to peek through the bathroom door keyhole. The next day he sealed off that keyhole as we didn't use it anyway. He never scolded me or said anything about it; I guess it was his way of just letting me know he knew. I had never suspected either of my sisters felt the same about me.
I cleared my throat, trying to get the dryness out before speaking. "What? Millie! What a thing to say!"
"Well Damnit it's true. I can remember when you were a senior in High School, playing football and looking all buff. Jane was 13 and her hormones were raging. One night she let it slip that she was hot for you and wished you could be her boyfriend."
I looked at Jane, her head down staring at the floor. "Jane? You, uh, you never said anything to me. Why didn't you?"
She lifted her head slowly; tears were forming beneath her soft brown eyes as I knew this revelation had hurt her. "You would have laughed at me like Millie did. I was a lanky and timid 13 year old junior high girl wanting her own brother to be her boyfriend; what do you think your friends would have said! I know my friends would have called me crazy." She gave Millie a look that silently said Millie had thought her crazy.
I reached over and pulled her to me, putting my arms around her and letting her face fall on my shoulder. "Well, little sister, I hope my friends would have said wow what a great looking girlfriend."
She feigned a slap to my arm, "They would not. I was a skinny little brown haired girl with no boobs to speak of? Why I was --"
I interrupted her before she could demean herself any further. "What you were Jane was my cute little sister, a doll. Only one other girl ever took my attention as much as you and that was Millie."
"Me? You thought of me in that way?"
"I thought of both of you that way." I coughed on the words I was about to say. "I used to try my best to get a view of your bodies, you know, naked but I never did. Oh yeah once I saw you drop your towel going down the hall from the bath, but that was only a butt shot. Dad caught me once trying to peek through the bathroom keyhole but he never said anything or scolded me. I guess he knew I was just a boy looking at girls."
I thought Millie was going to roll all over the floor with laughter. Jane too had this look of humorous embarrassment on her face. It was Millie who continued the story. "Rob, I dropped that towel on purpose. I knew you were looking, wanting to see me, so I let that towel slip hoping you would get a big erection and have to go do something about it. I was what, uh, 15 or almost 16 then, and I knew you were looking at us and we knew what you were doing in your bed at night. Jacking off! I'm sure Pop knew too, he wasn't dumb you know, and I knew about the keyhole because I saw someone had filled it in and I guessed it was Pop."
I started to object or at least not let them think I was masturbating regularly but Jane spoke first. "Millie told me about your jacking off, I guess masturbation is the right term, and even how she thought you did it. I could only imagine your hand on your penis moving it up and down and maybe around then squirting your stuff all out. I tried one night to sneak into your room when I thought you were doing it but Mom was still up and I had to make an excuse of going to pee. You went off to college before I got the chance to see you do it, or even as crudely as Millie put it, get to fuck your brains out. It wasn't until I started dating Larry Evans that I got to see a man's penis. I convinced him to masturbate for me once but he wanted me to do other things later so I quit seeing him."
"Larry Evans? You dated him? I guess he wanted you to, uh, go all the way. When did you finally get to, you know, uh, do the deed, oh hell, who was the lucky guy?"
"Charlie. When I married him I was a virgin until our wedding night and it hurt like hell when he put it in me, but Mama had warned me about it and told me it was part of becoming a woman. I'll tell you, old Charlie is a damn good lover and keeps me happy most of the time. Even after 3 kids he still likes to make love to me and I learned how to keep him happy as well."
