The Money's Penis

David Moreno finds things becoming surreal as a relic of antiquity collides with his everyday life. He finally figures out what is going on and tries to turn the tables. But watch out ...

See No Evil: Contains sexually explicit and politically incorrect material. If you shouldn't be reading this, or if it might offend you, simply stop now.

Legalese: All actors and actresses are over the age of consent. Proof of age is on file. Any similarity of any character, event or place to any actual person, event or place, is purely coincidental. This is all fantasy, and the actors are all professionals -- do not try any of this at home.

Archiving: You are welcome to discreetly repost or archive this, just do not change it, steal from it or claim credit for it.

Motherhood Made Easy ---------- ---- ----

David hurriedly re-dressed and returned to the living room, where he found his mother lucid and sitting in the chair he had left her in, but not wearing her robe. Instead, she word a black thong bikini, a sheer black mesh top, sheer black stockings, a silver-studded black choker and black five inch heels.

"Hi, baby," she sighed.

"Mom?!" David squeaked.

She waved her hand in front of her, and David saw that her nails were at least two inches long and coated in cherry red polish. "In the flesh, sweetie." Her lips were sharply lined in dark red lipstick.

"Are-- are you okay."

"Oooh, I'm much BETTER than okay. MUCH better. I think that I'm very VERY good. Just try me and see, David."

"Mom!"

"Please, sweetie ... call my 'Lydia'."

"Mom!"

She put her fists on her hips and pouted her lips. "Young man! I asked you to call me 'Lydia'! Now, please, try it."

David stared at his mother.

"It's not that hard." She pursed her very red lips in the most distracting way. "Ly-di-a. Now you try it."

"Lydia?"

She smiled. "Mmmmm, that's much better. Yes, David?"

"Uhm ... Lydia ... we need to get you to a doctor."

She leaned back in the chair and crossed her arms in front of her chest, smiling faintly and arching a brow. "Are you wanting to play doctor with me, young man? With your own mother?"

"No!" David blurted out, his voice cracking.

She waved a hand. "Because I'm okay with that, sweetie." Slowly she lightly traced one finger down the front of her top. "I can be your nurse and give you some medicine."

"Mom!"

"I already told you, David. It's 'Lydia'. And maybe you'd rather give ME some medicine instead. Yes ... I think I'd like that. A good ... thick ... salty ... dose of--"

"Lydia!" David's voice cracked. "Calm down! We need to think straight here."

"And are you straight, David? Straight ... and long ... and stiff and --"

"Right. We need to get you to a doctor right away."

"Will HE be able to make me feel better, David?" she asked in a little girl's voice. "'Cause I have this buuuurning right here." She let her hand drop to her lap.

David just stared at her, his mouth hanging open.

She stood. "You're right, though. We do need to go out. But to the clothing store. I need to pick up some items."

"Some heavy woolen items ..."

"No, sweetie. Lingerie, teddies, garters, nipple chains, thigh high boots, paint-on latex, strap-on dil--"

"No, no, no, NO!"

"Things like I'm wearing now. Do you LIKE what I'm wearing now, David?" She held her hands out to the side and slowly turned around for him to examine her.

"Nnnggg!" David moaned. "Where DID that outfit come from anyway? You don't have clothes like that, do you?"

"Oh, David ... I think I might surprise you. You are a bit ... naive ... at times."

"Mom!" She frowned back at him. "I mean, Lydia!"

"But no, this outfit seemed to just appear out of nowhere. I like it. So let's go." She walked toward the front door and laid her hand on it.

"Mom! Lydia! No! You can't go out of the house like that!"

She held her hands out to her sides. "Well, why not?"

"You-- ... your-- ... You'll get us arrested! Your nipples are almost showing through the top!"

She put her fists on her waist. "And what exactly is my son doing studying my nipples? Hmmm?"

"I'm NOT!"

She reached up and pinched her nipples through the sheer top, shivering from the sensations. "And WHY not?!" she pouted, "Are my nipples not good enough for you?"

"No! You're my mother!"

"And that automatically makes me have ugly nipples?"

"No, I--" David sighed. There was just no winning here. "You have beautiful nipples, okay?"

"Oh!" she bounced up and down most distractingly. "Do you really think so, David?" she cooed.

"Mom. Lydia. Let's just slow down a little. Sit. Please."

Lydia sat back down in the chair like a good little girl.

"Okay. You can't go out dressed like that. We need to get you dressed appropriately. Then we need to get you to a doctor."

Lydia leaned back and hung one leg over the arm of the chair. "Does my body intimidate you, David?"

David knew his erection was showing through his pants. "Mooom!" he whined, "You are being IMPOSSIBLE!"

"No, sweetie. I'm VERY possible. I'd even say that I'm being downright easy."

David sighed. "Mom. Lydia. Look at you. Your pubic hair is sticking out on both sides of your thong. You can't go out like that."

Lydia looked down and tugged on the hairs that were as David described them. "Well, mercy me! You're right. My pussy is sort of shaggy, isn't it?" She stood and started walking towards the back of the house. "You're right, then. Come along. We need to fix this." She hooked her thumbs in her thong and pulled it down and off. She looked at David over her shoulder to find him speechless, his mouth hanging slack. "Well, stop gaping at your mother's naked ass, David. Come along. I need your assistance."

David waited a couple seconds, then wandered back to the hall, totally unsure what to do now. Nobody's mother EVER acted like this! Did they?

"Come along, David," Lydia called from the bathroom.

He stepped into the bathroom, and she was seated on the toilet, her legs spread wide to open up her pubic area. David quickly averted his eyes.

Lydia handed him a can of shaving cream. "Sweetie, help lather me up."

"But--" David sighed, defeated, then put some cream from the can onto his fingers and dabbed around Lydia's groin, still trying to avert his eyes.

"Honey, you're going to have to look at what you're doing. Otherwise you might stick a finger right up my sopping wet hole. So, please, look at my pussy." She paused, then grabbed his chin with her hand and gently turned his head. "You don't want to be a motherpoker. So look at my pussy, sweetie."

David allowed his head to be turned and then did as he was told. She might be his own mother, but, Lord, she had a pretty pussy.

With that thought, David dropped his eyes again. How DOES one behave when his mother is acting like this?!

"David," Lydia sighed. She took his hand in her two hands while he still kept his eyes downcast. She bent his pinkie and ring finger, then bent his index finger. Then she moved his hand and he felt his middle finger enveloped by warm wet flesh.

She couldn't have!

"David. David, look."

David's eyes crept up to see his own middle finger embedded to the hilt in her hot, wet vagina.

"David, do you see what can happen if you don't look and pay attention?"

"Mo--, mo--?!"

She held his hand in place and wriggled her hips back and forth. "Nnnngg!", she moaned. "Accidents WILL happen, young man."

"Bu--, bu--?!"

Lydia removed her hands from David's and crossed them in front of her chest. "Now get your naughty finger out of mommy's pussy, David. And get back to business."

Slowly, David withdrew his finger. Just before he pulled it out entirely, he held his breath and started to push it slowly back in.

"Ah! Ah!" Lydia wagged a finger at him. "Not in mommy's cunt, young man. That was what we were trying to avoid."

David finished withdrawing his finger.

"That's my boy," she smiled. "Now lightly run your fingers around there to spread the shaving cream."

Relenting, David lightly ran his fingers over her inner hips, up to her low abdomen, then back down to the lowest part of her butt cheeks.

"The lips too ... David. Don't ... forget ... the lips."

David moved his fingers to the lips of her pussy and began stroking them, then lightly pulling on them, almost hypnotized until he noticed her pelvis shake and looked up.

Lydia had pulled her top up to expose her breasts. "It's okay ... honey. I just ... wanted ... to be able ... to get to these ... Keep ... going, please ..."

David kept staring at her new, big breasts. Lydia was kneading them, then noticed David mesmerized. "They're sooo much bigger. I always felt like I was limited in how much I could please a man before. But these --" she cupped them before resuming caressing them "-- these are what you could call hooters."

"Boobs." He began running his hands up her sides towards her breasts.

"Knockers."

"Jugs." Lydia moved her hands out of the way so that David's could take over.

"Gazongas," she whispered. "Mmmm, David. That feels good."

"I like ... I like making you ... feel good ... Lydia ..."

"You are so good at it, David. Here ... move these to here ..." she took his hands in hers and moved them back to her pussy. "Mmmm, yeeahhh ..."

David began tugging her pussy lips, lazily making circles around them, then drawing them out, then running his finger along their inner side. His face leaned in closer and closer, studying the pretty kitty. He was just building up his courage to stick out his tongue and give a lap at her pussy, shaving cream or not, when there was a knock at the front door.

He ignored it.

Lydia tapped him on the shoulder.

"Uuungh?" David's face was not two inches from his mother's crotch, his tongue beginnig to crawl out from between his lips.

"You'd better go see who's at the door, honey."

"But--"

"Go see who's there. Then we can pick up where we left off."

"But--"

"David, go."

"Uhng ...!" David managed to draw himself up to his feet and stagger down the hall. He repositioned his erection before answering the door so that it would be less obvious. When he opened the door, there was Paul's smiling face to greet him.

"Hi. I was worried about you and your mom. Is she feeling better?"

"Get lost," David said, pushing the door to shut it again.

"Hey!" Paul pushed the door back open. "Don't get touchy. I'm really concerned. I-- wow! Hi, Ms Moreno!" He waved over David's shoulder.

David turned around to see his mother standing there at the end of the hall. Her thong was still off, leaving her lower half naked, but she was holding a towel in front of her pussy. Or, actually, wiping the shaving cream off, it looked like. Her top was still pulled up to bare her breasts.

"Mom! Lydia!"

"It's okay, David. Paul certainly got a good enough view of these this morning, didn't you Paul?"

"Yes ma'am!" Paul replied grinning.

"Why don't you step in a moment, Paul."

"Yes, ma'am!" He shouldered David out of the way, pushing his way in the door. David shut the door behind him.

"You were a naughty boy this morning, weren't you, Paul?"

"Naughty, Ms Moreno?"

"Please, call me Lydia. And yes, I think 'naughty' is the word I'm looking for."

"Well, uhm, you seemed a little out of it this morning, Lydia. And I guess I got a few glimpses of your breasts when you were too preoccupied with other things to be concerned about that."

"'Glimpses of my breasts'? Paul, you were pumping that big fucking cock of yours between my boobs, weren't you? Taking advantage of me while I was 'preoccupied'."

"Uhm ... I ... uh ... guess ..."

"And then you blew a fucking quart of jism between my tits, splattering my face in the excitement."

"Yes ... uhm ... ma'am ..."

"Then you took that swollen purple pecker head and wiped the rest of the sticky cum that was on it off on my lips."

"You WHAT?!" David exploded.

"Well, they were so pretty and red ... and you were moaning, Lydia ... and I needed to hush you up before David heard ... and ..."

"So you stuffed your COCK in her MOUTH to GAG her?!"

"No, man! I just needed to get the rest off the tip -- so it wouldn't cause a stain through my pants. And she was asking so nicely--"

"You molesting sonofa--"

"David," Lydia said quietly, which got his attention better than if she'd screamed. He turned to see what she wanted and saw her lightly pulling on a boob, squeezing it and trembling when she got to the nipple. "I licked every drop of it off my lips, so it couldn't have been all that bad. Come here a moment, Davy."

David walked over to his mother.

"I can handle this, baby. Here, stand behind me. And bring these --" she pulled his hands up to cup her breasts "-- up here. Yeeeaaaahh. Just like that." Still holding the towel in front of her crotch, she backed up until her naked butt cheeks rubbed the front of his pants. "Oh!" she said, her eyes fluttering, "These new boobs are SO sensitive!" She inhaled a long drawn-in breath, then sighed it back out. She gave a sly look over her shoulder. "And from what I can feel with my ass, you're feeling pretty sensitive down there too, David."

Then she looked to Paul. "Now, for you, naughty boy."

"I'm-- I'm sorry, Lydia. I didn't mean to--"

"To titty-fuck me? That's kind of hard to 'accidentally' do, don't you think, Paul? So, no. No empty apologies here. You will strip down to your skivvies."

"Lydia?" Paul asked.

"Come on. You've seen mine. Now I get to see yours. If you're impressive enough, I might even flash you my ass. Who knows, I might even bend over while you're staring at my pretty little behind and let you get a glimpse of some lips."

Paul stood there, jaw slack.

Lydia smiled cryptically. "Or, then again, maybe I won't."

Paul began tearing his shirt, then his shoes and socks and pants off. Finally, he stood there in just his underwear.

"Are you swollen for me?" she asked Paul in her little girl voice. "My, oh my. Do I really have that effect on you two boys? Does Ms Morena really make you all long and hard and hot?"

"Oh, Ms Moreno ... Lydia ... you have no idea!"

"Now what is it that you want?"

"Let me see your rear, Ms Moreno. You promised."

"What do you want?"

"I want to see your ass, Lydia!"

"Say 'please'."

"Please, let me see your ass, Lydia."

"Weeellll ..." She pulled David's hands from her boobs, turned around and dropped her towel, cocking her ass at Paul. Then she returned David's hands to their massage from the front.

"You are so fucking pretty, Ms Moreno. You make SUCH a nice slut!"

"I'm no slut," she sighed as she bent at the waist, sinking towards her son's crotch.

"You ARE, Lydia. You're a slutty little whore!"

Looking rather dazed with lust, Lydia unfastened David's belt, then unsnapped his pants. "I'm a PROPER girl, Paul. Not one of the little tramps you try to go out with all the time." She reached behind her son's underwear and pulled out his erect penis.

"I'm actually quite the little ..." She flicked her tongue over the sensitive area under the head of his cock. "... quite the little lady, Paul." Drool spilled out of her mouth onto the head of the prick.

She felt Paul's hands on her butt cheeks. "Are you, Lydia? Or are you just the little cocksucking slut?"

"I have always been ... the proper ... lady, Paul," she said indignantly.

"Then I would not suck that cock."

Lydia halted the slow movement of her mouth towards her son's cock, stopped before she engulfed it. "What?"

"All cocksuckers are sluts, Lydia."

"No, we're not. I mean, they're not."

"Man," David broke in, "Stop FUCKING with her! Shut your goddam MOUTH and let her CONTINUE."

"But you don't care what proper ladies do, do you, Lydia? You're just a bitch in heat."

"I'm no bitch. And I'm not in heat. And you're just being a nasty, naughty boy."

"Lydia, you're drooling on your son's cock."

"But it's an awfully nice ... " she leaned barely closer and sighed, "cock ..."

Paul was still in his underwear, but he pushed his pecker against Lydia's crotch.

"Nnnnggg!" she whined. "OH, Do it! Do it, Paul!"

"Do what?"

"Fuck me, goddammit! Use that big goddam pecker like you ought to!"

"What are you, Lydia?"

"I'm a fucking slut, okay?! Jab that motherfucking thing up me! Now!"

"I'm not the motherfucker, Lydia."

"David!" Lydia called, still bent over, her face centimeters from his erection. "David, look at me."

David opened his eyes and looked down at his mother.

"Baby, I'm a slutty ... whoring ... cocksucking ... bitch! May I taste you now?"

"Oh, just suck me, Lydia." He shut his eyes and leaned his head back. "Suck me now!"

Her lips took his pecker into her mouth, where her warm spit wet it, then she began sliding back and forth on the rod.

Behind her, Paul dropped his shorts and plunged his dick into her sopping pussy. "Mmmmmm!" she squealed around David's cock.

Both boys pumped until, after a couple minutes, she came, and then began orgasming again about every minute.

After a half hour, all three had cum several times and they collapsed to the floor, where they lay for another twenty minutes, just breathing.

"You're quite the lady, Ms Moreno," Paul finally said.

"No," Lydia sighed. "I'm a really good whoring slut, Paul."

"A goddam crazed bitch in heat," David added.

"Yeeeaaah ..." Lydia sighed.

"A goddam cocksucking motherfucking cunt!" Paul put in his opinion.

"Don't be mean," Lydia cautioned, though she wriggled with pleasure that the boys liked her so much.

"One electric, mewling, drooling pussy!"

Lydia sat up. "You boys are making me JUICY again! But I need to go pee before another session like that." She stood and walked back to the bathroom.

"Man," David sighed, still laying on his back, "I don't know what made her boobies swell last night, but it sure has made her hot!"

"I know what it was. And the boobies didn't make her hot."

David rolled his head to look at Paul. "What are you talking about?"

"Number one, *I* made your mom's boobs grow. I've thought she was hot since the eighth grade. Number two, the sensitive boobs weren't enough to make her hot -- your mom's even more of a prude than she is a babe. I had to actually heat her up to get her to stop fighting it." He shrugged. "That's what I was doing this morning after I left."

"What the hell are you talking about, Paul?"

Paul smiled like the cat with the canary. "Watch this." He sat up, reached in his pocket and pulled something out, keeping it wrapped in his fist. He shut his eyes and remained still a few moments, then looked over at David. "Done," he declared.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lydia finished peeing and wiped herself, then stood. GOD, she couldn't believe she was DOING these things! With these two boys!

She looked at herself in the mirror. "Lydia," she leered to herself, "How naughty ..." She pulled on a boob, then a nipple. "... nnnggg! ... can you BE, girl?"

She turned to the side to admire her own profile. God, she looked good. These boobs really complimented her. And the boys certainly seemed to appreciate them! No more A cup honey here!

For some reason, a box of suppositories caught her eye in the mirror. How she despised when she had to use one of those things. Asses were just dirty, unspeakable things. And it just seemed wrong for anything to go in the wrong direction up there. Just wrong.

Just wrong.

I hate these, she told herself as her hand reached for the box.

She opened the cardboard container and removed a silver foil-lined little bullet. Little shit demons, these things were, to go into and dwell around such a dirty little area. She opened the foil and removed the waxy pellet.