David Moreno finds things becoming surreal as a relic of antiquity collides with his everyday life. He finally figures out what is going on and tries to turn the tables. But watch out ...
See No Evil: Contains sexually explicit and politically incorrect material. If you shouldn't be reading this, or if it might offend you, simply stop now.
Legalese: All actors and actresses are over the age of consent. Proof of age is on file. Any similarity of any character, event or place to any actual person, event or place, is purely coincidental. This is all fantasy, and the actors are all professionals -- do not try any of this at home.
Archiving: You are welcome to discreetly repost or archive this, just do not change it, steal from it or claim credit for it.
Author's Rambling: This story comes in two parts, a yin swing and a yang swing -- the acolyte at the beginning of the tale will tell you that this is the way of the universe.
Live well!
6. Fuck Bunny
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"I wonder who that could be," Paul mused, then walked to the front window and looked out. "Why, it's your girlfriend, David."
"Katie?!" David sprang suddenly to her feet and almost got slapped in the face by her own boob. "She can't see me like this!" she squeaked, scampered to the coat closet, and hid inside.
"You too, Lydia. She'll certainly notice that there's something ... different ... about you!"
Lydia pressed her chest forward. "Do you think my breasts will intimidate her, Paul?"
"You have absolutely no competition in the perky tit department, Lydia. Now into the closet."
Lydia strolled to the closet, then stepped in with her son -- ehr, daughter.
"Hey!" David complained. "This is MY closet!"
"Shut up and move over, bitch!"
"Mom!"
"I'd better go too, Paul," Professor Mulholland sighed. "I don't seem to be able to control what comes out of my mouth."
"I don't know. You seemed to do pretty good with that sentence."
"Do you think?" she smiled, then frowned, "Oops." The spot on her skirt freshened with new urine. "I'd ... better go." She went to the closet and stepped in with the other two ladies.
"It's getting freaking crowded in here!" David complained. "And stop groping my breasts, Mom!"
"They're just so irresistibly pert, sweetie."
"Well, stop!"
Patricia pulled the door shut.
Paul answered the door with his best sleazy smile. "Hi, sweetie."
"Don't you 'sweetie' me, Paul Spellman. Where's David?"
"David didn't make it to class today because he grew breasts and lost his gonads and just couldn't bare his face with all that shame. Guess that means you're in the market for a new boyfriend."
"Paul," she sighed, "David and I have something special together. You've always been jealous of it, but you've never understood that it's based on mutual respect. If you'd only-- oh, why do I even bother explaining to you? Is David back in his room?"
"David's in the coat closet, hiding his new tits from you."
"Paul, stop it. Where's Ms Moreno? I don't know why she even lets you hang around here."
"Lydia's in the coat closet too. Probably fondling her son's new boobies."
"You just don't know when to quit, do you?"
"Wanna see something nifty?" He reached into his pocket, pulled something out, then held it out in his palm.
Katie twitched her mouth. "It looks like a stick. What's so nifty about that?"
"It's a magic charm. It grants wishes. It started off, centuries ago," he grinned, "as a monkey's penis."
"Eeeewwww!"
"Watch this." Paul gripped the artifact in his fist and shut his eyes. Several moments later, he opened them. "Done," he grinned.
"What's done?"
Paul walked behind the couch, retrieved an object and brought it back. It was a woman's headband with two eighteen-inch hot pink fuzzy bunny ears sprouting from the top of it.
Katie raised an eyebrow. "Bunny ears?"
"Fuck-bunny ears," Paul corrected her. "Here, try them on."
"No. No way." She stepped around him and started back toward David's bedroom. "David?" she called.
A high pitched giggle came from the coat closet as she walked past it, and she stopped.