The Money's Penis

Copyright (c) 2000-2002 by Jafar

David Moreno finds things becoming surreal as a relic of antiquity collides with his everyday life. He finally figures out what is going on and tries to turn the tables. But watch out ...

See No Evil: Contains sexually explicit and politically incorrect material. If you shouldn't be reading this, or if it might offend you, simply stop now.

Legalese: All actors and actresses are over the age of consent. Proof of age is on file. Any similarity of any character, event or place to any actual person, event or place, is purely coincidental. This is all fantasy, and the actors are all professionals -- do not try any of this at home.

Archiving: You are welcome to discreetly repost or archive this, just do not change it, steal from it or claim credit for it.

Author's Rambling: This story comes in two parts, a yin swing and a yang swing -- the acolyte at the beginning of the tale will tell you that this is the way of the universe.

Live well!

* * * * *

Annoyed at the interruption, Lydia opened the front door. "Yes?"

Katie, David's girlfriend, stood there, smiling. "Is he here? Is David here?" she asked excitedly.

"Come back in the morning," Lydia said and started to shut the door.

Katie pushed the door back open, though. "I asked if David is here, Ms Moreno. I expect an answer."

Lydia raised an eyebrow at the young woman's pushiness. "Yes, he is here. But, no, he is not going to talk to some little hussy in the middle of the night. Come back in the morning."

"Don't cross me, Ms Moreno. I can make life very uncomfortable for you if you do."

"Do ... NOT ... threaten me, young lady."

Katie smiled like she had a secret. "Pau-aul," she sing-songed.

Paul Spellman stepped out of the shadows. "Sorry, Ms Moreno," he sighed, then pushed the door open.

"Paul, stay back!" Lydia said as she stepped back and Paul and Katie entered her house and shut the door.

"What's going on?!" David stood at the end of the hallway, alarmed. He'd gotten a bad feeling about his mother answering the door this time, and his erection had finally gone down with that fear. He had pulled on some pajama bottoms, though he had to be careful when he walked to not step on the last foot or so of his penis that now dangled on the floor.

"David! Your girlfriend is acting crazy! And Paul is scaring me!"

"Katie?" David gasped, then sank to his knees, crawled to her and began kissing her feet. "Ohgod, how I love you, Katie!"

Katie stepped out of her shoes so he could kiss her bare feet. "Oh, that's sweet, but your mom is being mean to me."

"BEHAVE, Mom!" David snapped at her in between toe-kisses.

"David! Stop KISSING her FEET! Don't DO that! Not to that little SLUT!"

"Ms Moreno, you're kind of annoying. Let's see if we can't improve you a little." Katie took what looked like a stick out of her pocket, held it forward and shut her eyes. After a few moments of concentration, she smiled and returned the object to her pocket.

"What was that thing? What did you do?"

"Back when David, Paul and I were in high school, all the boys made gah-gah eyes at you every PTA meeting, Ms Moreno. But did you ever spread for ANY of them? Or even let them cop a feel? No. You were just too high and mighty. Well, I think they'll find you much more amenable now."

"What are you talking about?"

"You'll see," Katie smiled knowingly. "First, though ... we oughtta get a few things straight here, Ms Moreno. *I* am in charge here now. Not you, but me. Is that understood?"

"You ... little ... hussy!"

"Oh!" Katie smiled bouncily. "You don't believe me! Well, let's just try a little test for the unconvinced. Ms Moreno, make your son stop kissing and licking my feet like some pathetic worshiper."

"She's right, David. STOP that! you're DEMEANING yourself!"

David continued revering the young woman's feet, oblivious to his mother.

"Oh, come now, Ms Moreno, you can do better than that. Your son is humiliating the family name! He's grovelling like some pathetic turd at his girlfriend's toes! Make ... him ... STOP!"

"David! STOP that this instant, young man! DAVID! You WILL listen to your mother! Now STOP that! David!"

"Hmmm ... I guess we could call that ... ineffectual? And even that's being too kind, Ms Moreno. What kind of mother can't even get her own son -- oh! that tickles, David! -- to stop making a spectacle of himself? To be truthful, I think we're going to have to say that you're downright impotent, that you are as important to your son as a gnat on a dog's butt is important to the planet earth. Poor, pathetic Ms Moreno.

"Now, by way of contrast," she smiled, light dancing in her eyes, "Daaaaavid? Sweetie?"

"Mmmmm ... yes ... mmm ... my love ... mmm ...?" he asked in between beautifying the perfect skin between his true love's toes by wiping the gunk out with his tongue.

"Get hard for me, sweetie-pie, won't you?"

There was a ripping sound as his pajama bottoms tore up the leg, ripped by his stiffening rod. In moments, it looked like a thick broomstick was attached to the young man's crotch -- make that three broomsticks, taped together.

Katie brought her hand to her mouth in mock surprise. "Oh, MY, David! Is all THAT for little old ME?!"

"Everything about me is yours -- everything I have, everything I am. I will do anything for you, my love!"

"But ... what about your mother?"

"Fuck mom! I am yours! Totally and eternally!"

"Well ...," Katie smiled at his mother. "I guess we know where you and I both stand now, don't we, Ms Moreno?"

"But ...." Lydia felt like someone had just unzipped her abdomen, and all of her confidence and self-esteem was spilling out onto the floor.

"Oh, don't go away in abject despair, Ms Moreno. I have a consolation prize for you. I'll let you get used by Paul there."

Lydia turned to look at the creepy young man that was suddenly leering eagerly at her. "N-no ...."

"Oh, come now. You'll hurt poor Paul's feelings. Look how eager he is. Paul, show her how eager you are."

Frantically, Paul unbuckled and yanked off his pants and underwear. He had only six inches, but they were the most eager and determined six inches that anyone had seen in a long, long while.

"Paul ... STOP that! How COULD you?!" Lydia made a face.

"And we get to wrap up several other loose ends, Ms Moreno. Paul's been pining after your lusty little pussy for years. Here's his big chance! And you'll get to test drive the couple improvements I made in you. I'm sure you'll find them quite delightful."

"Katie ... stop this. Stop this now!"

"Okay, Paul. Time for you to have some fun. But just necking for the moment, Paul."

"But, KATIE!"

"Oh, okay. You can feel up her boobs. but I want her robe to stay buttoned until I say otherwise. I want to kindle a spark right now, not stoke an inferno. And there are now a couple places that, once you touch them, are really going to turn her into a bitch in heat."

"Yes, ma'am." Paul guided Ms Moreno to the couch and sat beside her, his erection still poking out in front.

Lydia swallowed, then licked her lips. "I don't ... I don't want to ...."

"Oh, RELAX, Lydia. Just sit here with me a few minutes." He put his arm around her shoulders and his other hand on her knee.

"Okay, David," Katie giggled. "I think you have that area as clean as it's going to get."

Her boyfriend looked up at her from the floor with eyes filled with love. "Then what other part of you may I adore and worship, my sweet?"

"Oh ...," Katie played with her hair, "I guess I could let you suck the gunk out of my belly button."

"Oh, yes! Let me! Let me suck the gunk off you! It does not deserve to be on a body so beautiful as yours!"

"You say the sweetest things, my pathetic little beggar." She sat back in a chair and unbuttoned the bottom half of her shirt, then spread it to expose her navel. "Go to it. Make me shiny and squeaky clean down there, David."

Lydia watched in horror as her son did as he was told and plunged his innocent naive tongue into that lint-filled pit on the body of that unclean whore. The grimace on her face reflected the revulsion, but Katie simply returned a sweet little smile of victory.

Lydia felt Paul's hand slide up her abdomen to gently squeeze and fondle a breast through her robe.

Her son was acting the part of an idiot, of a pathetic, needy loser, and that little hussy had just traipsed her ass in here like she was some elegant, expensive treat that could shake her tail and get anything she asked for!

But Lydia's breast was feeling warm and soft and tingly where Paul was petting her, and she slid her hips forward on the couch.

Lydia's breathing deepened as her nipple and breast began responding to Paul's ministrations. Well, if her son wanted to make a fool of himself, if he wanted to be the idiotic little puppy that licks the hand that just whacked him, then let him. Let him learn the way of the pathetic fool. She sighed and moved her shoulder to make her boob a little more accessible to Paul's hand.

"Feeling anything there?" Katie called to her.

Lydia focused her eyes. "Hmm?"

"You will."

She was the most aggravating young woman. "I'm sorry. I missed the first part of what you sa-- mmmph!"

Paul had leaned over and planted his lips on hers, startling her at first, but the hand on her breast kept up its gentle squeezing, calming her. A minute later, when he slipped his tongue into her mouth, she was so receptive that she was afraid he would smell the sudden rush of juices collecting between her legs.

Paul broke the kiss and sat back. "I have wanted to do that since I was thirteen, Ms Moreno."

"Well, then ... come back ... and do it some more, Paul." She ran her tongue around her lips enticingly.

"What kind of a kisser is she, Paul?" Katie called, smirking.

Lydia reached her hand to Paul's neck and tried to pull him back to her. "Come back to my mouth, Paul. Tongue-dance with me some more."

"Paul," Katie called, a tone in her voice, as he started to lean back in to Lydia, and he halted and looked to the younger woman. "I asked you a question."

"Well, it's been a lifelong dream, but I'm a little disappointed.

"Paul?" Lydia was surprised at her partner.

"Don't get me wrong. Kissing her is better than not kissing at all, but her kisses are sloppy -- her lips are lazy. A good kiss involves firm but soft lips."

"Paul?"

"And she's soggy too. I feel like I'm kissing a saturated sponge. I'm surprised there isn't spittle dribbling off her chin."

"P-Paul?" How could he be saying such things about her after they just kissed each other like that?!

"Good boy, Paul," Katie nodded and smiled. "G'head now."

Paul grinned and turned back to Lydia. "Let's make some more sugar, Ms Moreno."

Lydia pressed her hand against Paul's chest to stop him. "How COULD you, Paul?! How could you say such things about me?!"

"Aw, c'mon, Lydia. I don't mean those things. I just say them." His hand was still on her breast, and he began gently squeezing her again.

"You've hurt my feelings, Paul. You SAY that it is a lifelong dream for you, but then you can't keep your mouth shut about our necking. In fact, you even INSULT me!"

"Awwww, baby." He took his hand off her breast, slipped it through the front of her robe to start caressing and squeezing her bare breast. "Whatdya expect? I'm a man."

"Being a man has nothing to DO with it, Paul! It has to do with RESPECTING your partner!"

"Respect?" Paul tried to look interested while he continued petting her bare boob.

"Yeah, it's all about respect and sharing and partnership. This is one of the things you'll need to learn if you ever expect to keep a-- "

"Sharing and partnership?"

"Yeah ... uhm ... if you ever expect to keep a girlfriend, you need to ... uhm ... learn to respect her ... and ...." The sensations coming from the breast that Paul was petting were splitting her mind between her brain and ... and someplace that was getting really, really wet!

"You were talking about respect, Lydia."

"Ehr ... yeah ... respect. God, Paul, I'm getting really WET here! Could we ... could we just talk about respect later and just start necking again now? Please?"

Paul grinned. "For my little fuck-tart, anything!"

"Oh, goodie!" She leaned back to accept Paul's lips to hers and to let him part her robe and expose her breast.

Katie chuckled quietly about that scene, then pulled David's face from her belly. "C'mon, sweetie. I have another place I want you to put that tongue."

"Anywhere, my love."

Katie stood and shed her blouse, skirt and underwear. Stepping one foot up on the seat of the chair, she reached behind herself to spread her cheeks. "Kiss my ass, honey."

David studied his girlfriend's sphincter. "Kiss ...?"

"Kiss my ass, sweetie-prick. Lick all around it, then stick your tongue up inside it."

Hands trembling, David hesitantly pressed his face to Katie's ass.

"Oooooh, YEAH! DAVID!"

On the sofa, Paul broke his kiss with a dazed Lydia. While she collected herself, he unbelted her robe and slipped it off her.

"I respect you," Paul told her as he grabbed her hips and turned her over onto her belly.

"But ...." She smiled faintly. "You do?"

Paul crawled on top of her, laying on her back. "You BET I do," he said as he pressed his rod into her from behind.

"OhGOD, FUCK!" she gasped, clawing at the sofa pillows.

Glancing over at the other couple in the room, she saw her son sticking his tongue up that slut's asshole.

She wished it were her asshole.

"Do you respect me too, Lydia?"

"FUCK respect, Paul! Fuck ME! You just FUCK me! PLEASE!"

Paul began humping his hips.

"OhgodYESSSSS!" Lydia gasped. She began pumping her hips back against his thrusts. "Fuck me! Paul!"

"I am ... fucking ... Ms ... Moreno! ... uuuurrrrrNNNGHHH!"

Lydia began cumming as she felt him spray his load inside her.

A minute later, her screams finally petered out, and she just laid on the couch, exhausted, Paul collapsed on top of her.

She watched as Katie pushed her son's face from her ass, then ordered him onto his hands and knees.

"Face to the floor, sweetie-kins."

David moved his four foot erection to the side and pressed his cheek to the carpet, then Katie ran her hand over his ass and possessively patted a cheek. "I love you, Katie, dearest."

"I love you too, babydoll," she said, then plunged her finger up his ass.

David gasped and tensed, then thanked her.

"Oh, anything for my little honeybunch, David."

Lydia felt Paul stir, then climb off her back.

"I still respect you, Ms Moreno," he lightly slapped her ass, then grabbed a butt cheek and wiggled it .

Katie realized the other couple was finished, then pulled her finger out of David's ass and stood.

"But Kaa-aa-a-tie ...." David whined.

"Shut up," Katie snapped at him. "Stay here and keep your mouth shut. I wanna hear Paul rate your momma's technique. Or lack thereof," she giggled.

David stayed put on the floor like a good boy.

"So, Paul," Katie took a couple steps. "Come over here." He immediately did as instructed. "How WAS she?"

"She's nowhere near the same league as you, my love."

"Well, that goes without saying. But give me some details. How bad was she?"

"I'm gonna have to say a lot like a cold fish, my love."

Katie looked over to smirk at Lydia. "Oh, REALLY?"

"You're warm and enthusiastic, heart of my life. But Ms Moreno just sort of lays there."

"Bastard," Lydia said quietly. Her self-esteem was taking a beating tonight.

"I guess she's just never cared enough to try to become a competent lover," Katie mused. "I wonder how she tricked David's dad into accidentally planting his seed into her. So ... on a ten-point scale, where would you rate our little Lydia Moreno here?"

"On a good night, maybe a one."

"Really?" She looked over at Lydia. "A ONE?"

"Yes, my love. Tonight she was a little below that, though -- that whole cold fish thing that we just discussed."

"Of course, Paul And, Paul ... for the record, where would you rate me?"

"You, my love? An ELEVEN!"

"An eleven? How sweet. Would you like to touch my breasts?"

"Oh! YES, my love!"

"You may."

Paul started to reach for her boobs, but suddenly doubled over, cursing and squirting his load. "I'm sorry, my love. I am SO sorry!"

"Not as much as you're going to be," she giggled. She stepped around the jism-splat on the carpet and squatted next to it. "I'm going to have to ask you to clean this mess up, Paul."

"Yes, my love." He turned toward the kleenex.

"With your tongue, Paul."

"W-what?!"

"Oh, come on, Paul. Come lick it up off the carpet for your sweetie-pie."

"But-- "

"You DO want to make me happy, don't you, Paul? The 'heart of your life'?"

"Yes, of course, my love!"

"Well, I'd be very happy if you bent down here and cleaned this carpet spot with your tongue. It would just be ... artistic. It gives a twilight-zonish twist when a guy is forced to lick up his own jism."

"Yes ...," Paul choked out and sagged to his knees, then slowly and dreadfully leaned down toward his love spot.

While Katie's back was turned, Lydia stepped quietly to her son, pushed him back on his butt and took his erection in her hands.

David, being a good boy, stayed put and kept his mouth shut like Katie had told him.

While Paul self-swallowed, Lydia's hands worked excitement into her son's rod. Gauging his distance from orgasm by how much his face bunched up, Lydia brought him just to the brink.

"Whore!" Lydia bellowed finally.

Irritated at the older woman's presumptuousness, Katie spun around.

Lydia yanked back on the mammoth cock with both hands.

Blat!

David's first gallon of squirt hit Katie square in the face, a testament to Lydia's aim.

Lydia jumped in front of the cannon and caught the second and third splats on her chest.

Resolutely steeling her will, Lydia did NOT begin scooping handfuls of the stuff up into her mouth.

Katie, however, did. WHOLLY unbelieving the lusty TASTE of the incredible substance, she desperately wiped the slime from her cheeks into her mouth.

"Oh my ... GOD! DAVID!" she screamed. When her face was clean, she began sucking the gunk off her hair. Then she looked around for more.

Her eyes landed on smiling Lydia's gooey chest, and she crossed the room in an instant. "Let me!"

Lydia held her hand forward to block her. "Ah-ah."

"Pleeeeaaase, Ms Moreno! Please! I GOTTA!"

"First give me that thing you used to 'change' me. You little cunt."

"But ...."

Lydia dipped her index finger in the milky fluid and brought it to her own mouth. "Mmmmm!" Few could know the willpower she used then to not melt and immediately consume all the rest of the treat.

"Here!" Katie handed the penis over to Lydia, then leaned toward Lydia's chest.

"Ah-ah! How do I use it?" Katie's face twisted in indecision, so Lydia took the opportunity for another jab. "My little whoring slut."

"PLEASE!"

Lydia pointed to her own chest. "Just tell me, bitch, and you can lick up ALL this!"

"Just hold it and make your wish. Now, PLEASE!" She pushed her way to Lydia's sticky bosom and began sucking and licking jism.

Lydia held the penis in her fist. She shut her eyes and wished. "Give David the will to resist this bitch!"

"Ohgod, Lydia! THANK you! This is SO good! Mmmmm!"

"I'll take that," David relieved his mother of the penis.

"But ... I ... oh, fuck it." Her willpower broke then, and she scraped her chest with her hand, licking the cum off her palm. A minute later, she pulled Katie's face to hers to lick the leftover jism from her lips.

"Now," David held the penis out and closed his eyes, "To get to the bottom of all this."

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