*Happiness is never truly owned; we borrow it and if we are lucky, we lend it to others*
*Thanks to Shawhollow for his editing work on this chapter*
*Some people have asked me about the character of Heidi so I felt an explanation might help. Heidi is the great enabler of this story; she sparks the chemistry between Joshua and Sienna. She'll do the same with Natalie. Heidi is the 'outsider' you can tell your dirty little secret to because she has her own dirty little secrets. She gets her time in the story and her background is part of it but her background is also about family and what can go wrong, yet become right. In the end this is an incest story where Heidi starts out as an oddball addition but grows to become as much Sienna's daughter and a sister to Joshua and Natalie. Now that's incest in my mind.*
(Late Night)
I woke up to the realization that it was pitch black and that Heidi had slipped away. Mom, as was her apparent pattern, was snoring softly while lying on her stomach. Heidi's clothing drawers were untouched so it was unlikely she had left. I got out of bed and padded over to the bathroom – no Heidi – then to the hallway. She stood at the far end near the foot of the stairs looking out the long narrow window into the back yard.
"Hey," I whispered to her before I gently wrapped her up in my arms.
"Have you had several girlfriends?" she asked me a minute later.
"Let me think...eleven, starting when I was sixteen – Sylvia Dupree was my first," I answered. "She spent her senior year at a high school in France with her parents. Last I heard she was working for the French National Rail Service as a systems engineer."
"Oh," Heidi said in a small voice.
"It would suck if we were still together," I kissed the top of her head. She looked up and over her shoulder for the answer.
"She never made me feel as lucky as I do right now," I smiled.
"But she's been to college and has a good job," Heidi hrumpfed, "I bet she was beautiful too."
"She was very attractive , I'm not going to lie to you, but she also had the bad habit of always having to be right even if we both knew she was wrong," I kissed her nose, "That crap gets old fast, believe me."
"You should have told me she was hideous," Heidi wiggled her butt against me.
"We have to trust each other so no lying," I directed the next kiss to her right eyebrow.
"Never?" she questioned.
"Good point; 85% truth," I offered. "All ladies need to keep some secrets."
"I can do that," she said after a moment's hesitation then, "What would you lie to me about?" she prodded me. 'Women,' I thought.
"Certainly when I tell you that you are safe from my attentions, you had better believe you are not safe," I teased. I also moved my hands up and cupped each breast.
"Aren't you going to grow tired of me?" Heidi just kept coming and I'd had enough.
"What's really wrong, Love?" I asked.
"If I did a bad thing – a really bad thing, would you punish me as badly as I deserve?" Heidi turned around and buried her forehead into my chest.
"Stop it," I put my foot down. "Our relationship is real, Heidi. Don't play games with me."
"Joshua, I'm married," she sobbed as she scratched the surface of some deep, horrific wound. 'Oh hell,' I tried not to gulp.
"I can accept that," I sighed. "Do you want to divorce this person? I'd like to consider marriage at some point time when I want to take that step for us?" I was really gauging her idea of remarrying and her commitment to us. I liked what I felt from her breathing and pulse.
"Joshua, I made a lousy wife," she choked out the words along the same vein of pain.
"I don't care what kind of wife you made for some guy I've never met," I told her. "I want you, I will fight for you and I'm not going to let you go without a struggle."
"I..." she mumbled.
"Mom thinks you are great and Natalie already sees you as a close friend – and that's pure you, Heidi," I confided. "You made my family appreciate you and that's no small feat," though mostly conjecture.
Heidi looked up at me for almost a minute.
"Keep it up Joshua, you are making me feel good about myself," she gave a wane grin.
"Well, you helped bring me and my Sienna together," I continued. "You moved so seamlessly that I was aroused by my mother with minimal pointless regrets."
"These are not meaningless things Heidi; you've changed the way I think and for the better," I concluded.
"Plus you like to have sex with me," Heidi asserted.
"Well – yes, when I get tired of using hand lotion," I sighed and rolled my eyes heaven ward. Heidi beat her forehead against my chest.
"Come here," Sienna motioned from the bedroom door, "come here Baby," she opened her arms and beckoned Heidi forward with her hands. I pivoted and pushed Heidi toward her. She stumbled slightly then ran into Sienna's embrace. "I'm your Mother now," she cooed as she wrapped Heidi up in a powerful hug that drove Heidi's chin into Sienna's cavernous cleavage.
"My Mother sold me when I was fourteen," Heidi mumbled.
"Do you think I'd ever sell any of my children no matter what the price?" Sienna asked softly. Heidi hesitated, still grappling with her own demons. "You know I consider you a daughter now?" Heidi lowered her head and sobbed. "What does your heart say, Precious?"
"I don't know," Heidi hiccupped hesitantly.
