Pt. 07
The first thing I did after gaining bodily control was press my palms into my eyes and swear, laying on my back still and unable to believe the insidious circumstance I found myself in. The two women, the blonder of the two being bottomless with ejaculate dribbling down her leg, loomed overhead, the brunette thoroughly enjoying my misfortune. Periodically, I would remove my hands, though only so I could stare at my sister's crotch and the horrible implication that was the viscid, white seepage in which it dripped.
"Miranda, I can't believe you'd do this to me..."
"What's the matter, Hun?" she mocked. "You know that I'm infertile, and I was thinking today that maybe we should just get a surrogate, so... here we are."
"But it's Kate, it's my sister!"
"What, you don't like the idea of a sissy surrogate? Come on, love, you don't think the idea of her and your DNA running around would be cute?"
"I love you," I informed her, struggling to get my gelatinous knees to hoist me up from the carpeted floorboards, "but I think you've gone too far this time. I don't know if I can forgive you for this..."
"You will in time," Miranda ignored the girl who looked to her with panic. "When you finally come around," she touched Katy's stomach, "you'll be glad I did this, I promise. I did it for the both of us, for all three of us, and things will be so much better this way."
I pulled off my tie but went to the coat rack to fetch my jacket.
"Where are you going?" my wife tried to stand in my way. "Hey, we're having a family moment here, you can't just leave."
"I'm going to the pharmacy to get some 'morning after' pills or whatever the hell they're called," I said. "There's no way I am letting this happen without trying to do something about it first."
"Don't be like thatโ"
"No, Miranda, this is the worst conceivable thing. Fine, my sister and I have some weird incestuous relationship, and I feel pretty disgusted with myself about it, but this is the reason incest is a taboo in the first place. What, do you expect I'll just calmly watch my sister get fat and pregnant knowing that it's my fault? No, it's not even my fault, it's your fault, and I am unfathomably pissed at you for doing something like this to me."
"Are you done yet?" she'd her arms crossed, my sibling standing behind her with her head hung low.
"You know..." I began, too furious not to say it, even if I didn't entirely mean what was about to come out of my mouth. "These last few days have really been making me seriously think about our relationship."
"What's that supposed to mean?" her hands were on her hips now, grimacing, her eyes cold beneath those thick frames.
"The person who'd do this sort of thing to me isn't the person I married."
With neither pause nor delay, she held out her palm expectantly, "Give me your ring, then."
"Mirandaโ"
Katy had tried to intervene, her expression worried, but she was stopped. I looked down at that gold band and contemplated pulling it off, though I couldn't. The fantasy of throwing it in her evil fucking face was satisfying, but I realized that it was a bluff, that my love for her would survive even if this surreal nightmare was a reality I'd have to live with and accept.
"Then," she went for her diamond, but I grabbed her wrist the moment her fingers touched it. "What, Hun? This was what you were implying, wasn't it?"
"Babe, stop, I take it back..." I announced after a sigh.
"If you want your ring back," she smiled and reached into the bra beneath her blouse, pulling out a triangular, alien object and handing it to me, "then take it."
It was rubbery, wet, and grotesque. I'd no idea what it was, but it looked almost like an oddly shaped suction cup with the back cut out. "What the hell is this?" I asked as I investigated the bizarre thing.
Miranda nodded to Kate, who held a blonde bang away from her face as she looked down and, with her opposite hand, began to reach up inside her vagina and dig for something. I watched in absolute confusion until she finally got a grip on whatever it was, and then, like a lubricious, slimy snakeskin, she pulled out a flimsy tube from the inside of her womb. It was so long and kept coming and coming, until it eventually, with a weak plop, fell from her parted thighs, and she held it up for me to see. In its deepest regions was the murky deposit I thought I'd left for her cervix.
"I had to cut the ring off," I was informed by my smiling, estranged spouse, "so it wouldn't be so obvious."
"So sheโ"
"I was wearing a lady condom," my sister laughed. "You fell for it pretty hard, too. You should've seen the look on your face, it was priceless."
"I'm really sorry," I apologized to Miranda, regretting terribly everything I'd said to her.
"Don't be," she guffawed, unaffected. "It segued nicely into our reveal."
"I am the biggest fool to ever live..."
"Maybe in the top ten, but I wouldn't say the biggest," my wife jested before kissing me, a gesture I returned. "Mm, babe, you being so angry has gotten me all hot."
"What am I supposed to do with this?" Katy held up the contraceptive, eyeing it with disgust.
"You aren't going to eat it?" she was teased.
"Wait, wait, wait," I interrupted their shenanigans. "She was home with me before you got here... You planned this?"
"Yup," the coed confirmed, "in the car on the way to the campus, we devised this little scheme together."
"And it worked out better than I imagined it would," Miranda added, locking her arms around my neck. "You were absolutely furious... and, of course, frightened. We had you shaking in your boots."
"Yeah, andโah, gross, why's the carpet wet?" Kate recoiled after taking a step.
We looked at the visible circles of dampness before seeing the culprit. The end of the condom was dribbling from the tiniest hole... As we talked, it had leaked out onto the floor without our noticing.
"Oh fuck," the brunette was the first to break the agonizing silence. "The fucking thing," she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, her voice more aggravated than scared, "has a fucking goddamn hole in it..."
"Does this mean I'm actually pregnant?" the blonde was shaking, as was I, though not as much as she.
"Well, uh... Come over to the couch," my wife ushered the girl to the aforementioned location and sat her down. "Now, spread your legs, I'll cup my hand beneath your vagina like this, and squeeze as hard as you can. Keep doing it. Shit, I think I can see something crowning," I wasn't watching anymore by this point, and then things got dreadfully quiet.
A wordless woman put her hand on my shoulder, and I turned to see that she'd a palm full of seminal fluids.
"This is another trick, right?" I naively hoped.
Miranda was pale, and Kate was on her side crying, hugging a pillow.
"I'll take her to the doctor in a week or so," my spouse's voice was grave. "The morning after pill you were talking about before, that's not even worth looking into. I think I still have some pregnancy tests left over from when we were trying, so when we know for sure, I'll take her to... take care of it."
"Oh my god," groaned the sobbing thing on the sofa, "I was telling you to cum inside me and to get me pregnant and everything... but then it happened for real."