Nina grew up in the outskirts of Paris. She is a fierce young woman, with very long, very red hair, a rough voice and a filthy mouth. She has a personality, and very often fights with her mother. Mostly about her liberty, about the role of women in society. Nina doesn't have any contact with her dad, who lives in the same city but has, for the most part, ignored her.
Nina is involved with many political collectives for women's rights, but activist circles in Paris get suffocating. After an incident at a march where she almost gets arrested, her mum and her have a serious argument. Nina yells at her mum that if she cared about women's rights, her dad would have not abandoned them. Their relationship deteriorates, and as soon as she turns 18, she kisses her best friend good bye and runs away. Feeling angry and asphyxiated, decides to take the train all the way to Barcelona. She has an activist friend there. It'll be a new beginning, where no one will judge her or tell her what to do.
When Nina arrives to Barcelona it is the early evening of a Thursday. She's been messaging her friend, but she only eventually gets a cryptic reply. Her friend tells her that she's had a realization about women's place in society, that she's on her way to Ecuador to join a retreat for women and she won't be back for months.
Nina is on her own. She has barely any money, she came down with a couple hundred euros. Her mum has been trying to contact her but she ignores her texts. That first night, she decides to stay at a cheap hostel. She is lying on her bed trying to sleep but the hostel is full of drunk backpacking kids who are doing cheap coke in the bunk bed next to her. She feels digusted at herself and by 2am, leaves the place and spends the night wandering the streets. She makes friends with an older Moroccan man who, before leaving, gives her a good amount of hash.
By the time the day comes out, she's feeling very lost. The sun is up, and she hasn't slept and feels a bit stoned from the hash she's been smoking. Walking aimlessly, her feet take her to the beach, where she lies down not knowing what to do. It's gonna be a hot day, and people look happy and joyful.
Out of boredom, she reads all the messages her mum has sent and sees that she's given her the contact to an old friend of her who lives in Barcelona. He's 34 years old. His name is Iñaki. They've never seen each other before. She didn't even know this man existed.
She messages him: "Hi. My mum gave me your number. I'm Nina, daughter of Leila, your old friend from Paris. I was wondering whether you'd have a place for me to stay for a couple of days in Barcelona."
She doesn't hear back. She spends the day at the beach, smoking hash and getting her skin burned. She swims on her panties and lets her body float and her thoughts take her away.
By early evening, he replies. "Your mum told me about you and your arguments. You can stay for a couple of days. But I can't have you more than a few days."
He sends her the address and after putting her clothes on her salty body, she makes her way uptown, where she finds the beautiful modern house. He opens the door through the buzzer and comes find her at the entrance, by the garden. He's well dressed, a rolled-up white shirt tucked in some fancy pants and very nice shoes. He has two silver earrings. He's a handsome, tall man. He's not smiling but lets her in and says hi. She feels very dirty and shy: hasn't showered in two days, carries a backpack with her clothes, and just some shorts and a t-shirt that is dirty, old and has shrunk so it's too tight. She's still a bit stoned, and she is scared that he can tell. For a second, she feels as if he took look at her body, but reminds herself that she's high and maybe a little paranoid. He is not enthusiastic, but tries to act somewhat welcoming. He shows her the room where she'll stay, the bathroom, the kitchen - living room. It is a spacious house. He seems to live alone.
He makes some small talk. Eventually asks her why she left.
"My mum doesn't understand women and how the world has changed. I want to destroy the patriarchy." Nina says, with the arrogance of an 18 year old. He smiles and almost rolls his eyes.
"Oh the patriarchy. Yeah, I see." he says. "Well, it hasn't seemed to work out that well for you so far, has it?" She feels embarrassed and upset at his being so condescending. "Anyways, you can stay here for a week, but after that you'll have to find somewhere else to go. I've shown you the bathroom. Go take a shower now." She is a bit annoyed at this command of him, but she knows he's right. "Yes, thank you." She hears herself saying. She has the impression he is looking at her while she walks towards the bathroom.
Once she's got this place to stay, for a moment things seem to become a little bit easier. During that week, she goes out in the mornings. She tries to find some other friend, or a friend of a friend. Tries to find a job. Attends events and meetings with political collectives, where she thinks she'll find people like her. She attends a couple of assemblies from women's collectives. She thinks: "It is so great that there is some much female activism in this city". Truth is, Nina feels quite alienated, almost always stoned and awkward, and she doesn't understand the language very well.
At night, in the house, she spends hours writing and reading feminist literature.
Days pass. On her fourth night, she's up and it's late. This hash is potent, and all her senses are amplified. Without noticing, when she's stoned and alone, she rubs her pussy very softly and gently, as a habit. She just places her hand there and without thinking her fingers rub themselves over her pussy.
She starts hearing some noises coming from the living room. At first she thinks she's too stoned and imagining things, but then she can clearly hear some whispering and some movement going on. It must be later than 2am.
She switches off the light of her room and very quitely opens the door a little, so she can see. There is not a lot of light in the main room, but she can clearly see a female figure. She is not moving a lot, crouching, breathing deeply. By the reflection of the city lights Nina thinks for a second that her skin looks wet. Her legs are open. On a different angle, she notices some rope and understands she's tied. Her hands are on her back, her legs open in front of her and a collar in her neck is chained somewhere she can't see. No one else seems to be there. The girl is breathing hard. As she moves a little, the light lets Nina see that this girl is about her own age, 18 or 19. She is very pretty, has long black hair falling on one side. Her mouth, breathing hard, is wet and has thick lips. She seemed to have some makeup on, but has now been ruined all over her face. Nina notices that the girl seems to be whispering something, like some kind of repeated mantra. Nina thinks it sounds like"... I'm a whore...", but that can't be. The girl repeats her whispers between exhausted breaths, over and over again.
Nina has never seen anyone humiliated like this, not even in porn. She is appaled. Suddently she remembers how stoned she is, and feels her own mouth simultaneously dry and very wet. She can't look away from this girl, how pretty she is and how... pathetic she looks. She can't believe it but the image of this girl is... making her skin warm. She's just wearing her panties and a tshirt that's too big for her. She herself is crouching, her hand still in her panties and almost without noticing, starts touching herself a little harder.
All of a sudden, she hears the door of Iñaki's room open, right next to her own room's door. She freaks out and closes her door a bit too fast, a bit too loud. There is a moment of silence. She can hear steps coming close to the door. She's on her bed now, terrified. Her body is still very warm.
She pretends to be asleep when the door opens very slowly. Very quietly. Everything is dark in her room. She opens one eye very narrowly and can see Iñaki's profile by the door. She hadn't paid attention before, but he's fit. She tries to push the thought away, but it stays with her. Behind him, she can see the girl looking towards her, as much as the rope and chain let her. Nina closes her open eye and pretends to be sleeping deeply.
For a very long few seconds, nothing happens. She can hear the girls whisper something, he responding rudely to shut her up. Finally, the door closes slowly and quietly.
Nina feels relieved, only until she notices her hand has been on her pussy, inside her panties all this time. Iñaki has seen her. He has seen her masturbating.
That was... bad, she thinks. In the living room, she can hear noises again. She hears some quiet moaning, noises that sound like slurps and gagging sounds. Iñaki's voice, assertively commanding. That girl is, like, my age, she thinks. And she got so horny in front of her mum's friend, who totally saw her masturbating. This is all really bad, she thinks and feels tremendously embarrassed.
The morning after, she wakes up in the haze of her stoned hangover. Stoned and shamely horny, she's been coming in and out of sleep and almost feels nauseous. Over the night she rubbed herself so much she feels her pussy is sore and can only think of the girl in the living room. For a moment, she also thinks of Iñaki's figure, strong and tall. She wonders about his dick. He exudes the air of having a really big dick, she thinks. What would it look like? Oh my god, what is wrong wth her? This is her mom's friend, and he's actually been rude to her and abusive to this girl. How could she feel horny at all? Although the girl seemed to be... enjoying it?
Nina is so confused. She gets dressed, makes sure no one is in the living room, and leaves the house in a rush, without showering. She can't imagine running into him now. She feels lost, dirty, confused and yet, it's hard to admit, still a bit aroused. This is kind of... pathetic, she thinks.
She spends the day at the beach again, reading and smoking. By late afternoon there is another assembly of one of the activist groups, but once she's there it all seems a bit boring and pointless. She's so high she can't speak to anyone and, to be fair, can barely follow the conversation. She's mostly just looking at all these young beautiful activist women, and somehow doesn't feel very connected to them. Except... there is this one girl in the group who seems to look at her insistently. She looks vaguely familiar, but Nina remembers she's stoned and she's probably imagining all of it. She looks away.
