The knock on the door surprised me. I'd been lost in my thoughts, pouring over outlines of history chapters, preparing for the final for my Early Civilization class. My hatred for history and my inability to retain essentially all of the information I learned from the class had, at present, completely filled my mind as the day of the final drew ever closer. I sighed at the interruption, tossed my pen down on the dining room table, and walked over to the door.
As I glanced out the peephole and saw no one, I opened the door and took quick notice of a small pile of mail on top of a badly wrapped package. Picking up the package and the mail, I returned to the outline and note covered table. Without even looking at the name on the package, I knew it was meant to be mine. My birthday had passed over half a month ago, yet the wrapping paper was littered with happy birthday sentiments across it. It took nearly ten minutes for me to simply crack open the box, as the bad wrapping job had been patched with tons of tape. As I opened the box, I saw a card on the inside, an older woman wearing sunglasses describing how old she was. I chuckled, as I always made jokes about how old I felt, despite only have just passing the legal drinking age. I opened the card and began to read it.
Happy Birthday Lil! I know I'm late on your birthday, sorry. Things have been hectic at school. Not sure if Anna and Dad told you, but I'm transferring to your school next semester, so to save some extra cash, I'll be moving back in for a bit. Can't wait to see you! It's been WAY too long. -Josh
I stared at the card for a few minutes, unsure of my emotions. A part of me was excited. I'd missed Josh. He'd been away at school for the past three years, and I hadn't seen him since. He'd chosen to do a dual major, which had kept him extremely busy, and the two or three times he had managed to find time to come home had fallen on days that I'd been out of town, taking spring break trips to different art museums with some fellow students. The other half of me felt somewhat annoyed.
I had been about the age of three when my parents had separated and remarried. My mother, Anna, married a kind-hearted businessman named Henry. He mostly dealt in buying, renovating, and flipping real estate, but after he married my mother, he had also invested in my mother's dream of owning her own bakery. It was often more stress for him than it was worth, as my mother was an excellent cook and baker, but a terrible business woman, but somehow he managed to make sure that the shop always turned a profit. Henry had also been divorced when he met and married my mother, with a son of his own, Josh, who was two years my senior.
I don't remember what things were like when we first met, but I do know that as children, Josh and I were inseparable. I wasn't like most girls. I didn't like lace and frills, and I hated primping and shopping. I was a dirt and mud kind of girl, much to the dismay of my mother. Josh and I collected bugs, made mud pies, built forts, swing from ropes, and conquered the world together. He called me Lil instead of Lillian, and he had no shame in telling anyone that I was his best friend. He had been mine, too.
Somehow, something changed once we got into high school. He stopped telling people I was his best friend. Instead of calling me by the nickname he had given me years before, he started referring to me as his "kid sister." Even when his friends weren't around, I'd gone from being Lil to Lillian again. It was as though he was screaming at me that I wasn't good enough for him anymore, but he was merely speaking with a smile. I'd once overheard our parents talking about the strange distance between us. "Maybe it's puberty," Henry had said. "It seems like it's changed them both a lot."
At the time, I hadn't understood what he had meant. It felt, to me, like I was still the same dirt-loving girl. Over time though, I realized that some aspects of my personality had changed. I had taken an interest in art, and instead of dirt-stained jeans, I typically had paint stains instead. I started enjoying the educational trips to the museums, excited to see what art they had on display. I spent hours working on a piece, only to look up and see that the day had slipped away from me. Maybe his distance had been my fault. Maybe he'd gotten bored with me.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts so I could return to my studies, but I found that I couldn't concentrate. I groaned and looked over at the clock on the wall. "A quarter past six. Hmm. I still have a good two hours before Henry and Mom get home," I mumbled to myself.
My stomach growled, and I took it as a sign that it was time for a break. After reheating some leftovers, and quelling my hunger, I stretched out and felt how tense my muscles had become from sitting so long at the table. "I should take a shower. A shower always helps me clear my head."
As I walked up the stairs to head into the shower, I passed by my bedroom and decided to strip down for the shower in my bedroom. When no one else was at home, I loved strutting around naked. As I tossed my jeans into the laundry hamper, it, and several other articles that were piled up at the top, caused the hamper to turn over. Behind it, I noticed the sticker I had put on the wall several years before. It wasn't anything special, just a star shaped sticker I'd gotten out of a random pack, but it had been put up for a specific reason.
I walked over to the hamper and bent over for a closer look at the star. One of the sides was still slightly bent, perfect for being able to gently peel it away and then replace it. I pulled on the sticker and bit, and looked at the hole it had been hiding. I leaned down and pressed my face against the wall, as I had done several times during before Josh had finally left for college, and glared through the wall. Josh's room sat, mostly untouched since his last visit home. Mom had gone in to dust occasionally, but everything else was still in its rightful place.
I closed my eyes and could feel my heartbeat quicken as I thought about what had happened when I had first discovered that hole. At that time, my dresser had been covering the spot, and after casually tossing some new paintbrushes down, one had rolled off and fallen behind it. Since the dresser hadn't been all that heavy, I moved the dresser out of the way. As I bent down to retrieve my brush, I discovered the hole. I assumed Josh, or one of his ridiculous friends, had accidentally punctured the wall and never spoken up about it to avoid chastisement from our parents. I had peered through it to see Josh, alone, sitting at his desk, looking at his laptop. Making out the specifics had been difficult, but I could see he was doing something with his arm, and after a few seconds of studying him, he leaned back in his chair, laying his head back against the back rest. It wasn't the quick shot of the porn on his laptop that forever had burned into my mind, but the look on his face. His look of pleasure had excited me in a way I'd never been excited before, and it had scared me. A part of me, for a reason I couldn't understand, wanted to be the person making him look like that. In my panic, I found a pack of stickers in one of my art boxes and quickly covered the hole, hoping that it would also cover the strange feeling that had come over me.
Unfortunately, the sticker hadn't done its job. I moved my dresser back and forth daily in hopes of catching a glimpse of him again. Finally, after a few weeks of doing so, I even decided to rearrange my bedroom, placing the laundry hamper over the hole instead of the dresser because it could be moved more easily and more silently. When my mom had questioned me about it, I told her I'd changed up my room for better lighting for my artwork. The response was complete bullshit. It was closer to a window, but it was actually worse for me as it cast too much of a glare on my work. I didn't care. I had needed to see Josh's face like that again.
Eventually, a week after I'd rearranged my room, I caught him once more. He had no idea, but watching the cum spurt from his cock and hearing his stifled moan had been exactly what I had needed to send me over the edge. I continued to move the hamper and peel back the sticker until he left for college. He spent a year working before he started, knowing that college costs were high which I had been grateful for, as it had given me another year to watch him. Afterwards, I spent the next year recalling the images I'd stashed in my memory to give myself the release I needed. Each time I came, I felt ashamed but I couldn't deny myself the pleasure.
I had met Lukas my freshman year of college. He was smart, handsome, and an art major. We dated for two years before he decided that he "needed to be free for the sake of his art." Turns out, needing to be free for his art meant he needed to be free to stick his dick in as many women as he possibly could. I took an entire semester off of school to mourn the loss of that massive douche.
It wasn't until now, as I stared through that hole in my wall and felt my pussy begin to tingle and grow warm and wet, that I realized that I had completely forgotten about how I badly I had once wanted Josh. I reached down and slid my fingers across my opening and felt the slick wetness on the tips of my fingers.
