The Rules Are Simple

The rules are simple.

You score points for the different sexual acts you manage to have in one session. It's a game we've been playing ever since we turned 18. If you score, you share your exploits with those playing the game. The most important rule is you must be honest. If you lie or make up any details to make yourself look better, not only are you cheating yourself, but you're also disqualified from the game permanently.

When we first started, it was based on how hot a girl was that you hooked up with. The group would all have to agree on her rating, between 1 & 10. As the game got older, and the deeds became more risqué, we started throwing in extra points for what you managed to pull off with the (un)lucky lady. Examples of some of these are:

Sucking on her nipples - 1 point

Fingering her vagina - 2 points

Getting a blowjob - 3 points

Licking her vagina - 3 points

Having missionary intercourse - 4 points

And as time went on and we started experimenting more:

Sucking on toes, yours or hers - 2 points

Fingering her butt - 3 points

Performing a 69 - 4 points

Doggy-style intercourse - 5 points

Anal intercourse - 6 points

There were certainly plenty more, and new ones added all the time, though it's no surprise what a bunch of hot-blooded males will get up to when in competition. The addition of the 'bonus game' became the greatest challenge however. On a Friday afternoon those playing for the weekend would decide on a bonus challenge to score an extra 10 points. These would be something along the lines of hooking up with 2 girls at one time, convincing a girl to do a strip tease for you, or having a girl bring herself to orgasm before you've even touched her,.

The greatest amount of points scored so far was 42. Good old Geoffrey, the classic model male. Unfortunately for him he's temporarily out of the game until he sheds the baggage of his unbelievably hot girlfriend. Of course one of the other main rules for the game is it only counts if it's the first time doing 'anything' with that girl. If all you get the first time is a make out session with some fondling of her breasts over her top, then you're going to score fairly low.

My name is Marcus. I currently hold the title for scoring the lowest in the game thus far - 2 points. I was drunk, and even with beer goggles she was hideous, and apparently had morals I seriously wasn't expecting. Needless to say, it's a title I am very proud of.

Late into my 18th year my family moved to another city, taking me away from my group of friends I'd had since I was a kid, and eventually as others went about their early adult lives the game has been played less in a group of salivating males on the prowl and more as a catch up on a Sunday evening in the internet forum we frequent. Old players would leave, new ones would join, hearts would be broken, it was great fun.

Just recently my parents let me know about a weekend trip they were to make back to my hometown to see my grandparents and asked if I wanted to come along to catch up with some of my old friends. Of course I was keen, even if it was an 8 hour drive to get there, and immediately started making plans to get as many of my buddies together as possible for my visit. The majority of us were now 19 or 20 and a lot of them had moved away to study, so I was only able to get 3 of them to guarantee it was all on.

The week leading up to the trip went by slowly. I wasn't one of the suckers who went off to University and studied in something I would never use in the real world, nor was I stupid enough to throw away a good thing at home. That's right, at 19 I was still living at home with my parents and my older sister, and why not, they were pretty easy-going and expected very little of me. I did have to get a part-time job to keep them quiet about pulling my own weight financially, but with no rent, food or utility expenses that money usually just went on instruments and other music equipment for the band that I played in. My sister couldn't care less about catching up with old friends and decided to stay home, so it was just going to be me, my mother and my father.

Finally, early on the Friday morning, we were in the car and beginning a long and soon to be very boring drive down the country. We each took turns with the driving, and surprisingly had a fairly good time on our small family road trip. My parents have always been laid back in life, never really stressing over too much. My father, Gordon, runs a successful building company that employs about 30 workers and contractors at any given time. My mother, Ashley, works part time as the office lady at a small dental clinic, and then also does the book keeping and accounts for my fathers company. Money has never been an issue in my family and has allowed us to enjoy the finer things in life without indulging too much, living modestly most of the time.

Making good time, and having a few laughs along the way, we finally arrived earlier than expected. My grandparents, on my mother's side, were quick out the front door of their house to greet us as we pulled into the driveway. It'd been about a year since I'd seen them last, maybe about 6 months since my mother had last visited, so they were especially excited to see their only grandson after so long.

"Ohhhhh, how you've grown up Marcus, all trim and well fit," squealed my grandmother, Irene, as she gave my torso a hard squeeze, somewhat imitating a hug.

"Thanks Gran. Got to look good for the ladies, you know," I remarked back as I politely manoeuvred my way out of her grasp.

"That's m'lad," laughed Sidney, my grandfather, as he shook my hand. "Gotta kep 'em gaggin' fo it."

I just had to laugh, pretending that I understood what he had said, but remembered I had given up years ago trying to understand much of anything he said due to his thick English, Irish, Scottish, whatever accent, heck for all I knew he could just be mumbling and not have an accent at all.

I helped Dad unload the car as Mum went inside with my grandparents. Once we had everything inside and up in our rooms I went downstairs and enjoyed an ice cold beer with the olds while they all chatted about the things old people chat about.

"So Marcus, have you decided what you want to study at university yet?" enquired Gran, roping me into their conversation.

"Of course he hasn't," Mum quickly remarked. "You're too cool for school aren't you, dear?"

Ouch, the sarcasm is strong with this one. "Yeah Mum, too cool for school," I replied, and in my head I was, I really was.

"Don't be so hard on him. I never went to University and look how amazing I am now," my father said, coming to my defence and at the same time bringing the conversation back to how brilliant and successful he was. "No schooling, no training, and now I run a successful building company that employs about 30 workers and contractors at any given time."

"You're amazing Dad," I said.

Mum just shook her head, looking at the two of us, the stern look on her face slightly giving way to the hint of a smile, only slightly mind you.

The night moved along pleasantly. I drank more beer while absorbing myself in the chatter of the olds. Grandpa Sidney was the first to retire, being the oldest, and likely the drunkest, he stumbled up to bed fairly early. Dad wasn't far behind, doing most of the driving and probably having the second most to drink. He kissed the two ladies goodnight and wondered on up the stairs to the spare bedroom.

Grandma was third to go on up, leaving Mum and me downstairs in front of the fire. I was pleasantly drinking, likely my fifth beer of the night. Mum sipped away at her Gin & Tonic.

"So what are your plans for tomorrow?" Mum asked.

"Just the usual, hanging with the boys and preying on beautiful unattainable girls while drinking silly amounts of alcohol," I replied truthfully.

"Ohhhh right, the silly little game you boys play," Mum smiled.

"What game?" I asked, surprised she knew about it.

"Oh come off it Marcus, you tell me about it every time you're drunk around me. You boys try to get unsuspecting girls into bed and do naughty things to score points to out do each other," Mum smirked at me as she took another drink.

I was dumfounded. What else have I confessed to her while under the influence? Does she know all of my deepest darkest desires, my antics, my crimes, my.... my porn site user details. I suddenly felt I needed to take back control, not only of this conversation, but also of my right, as a man, to rule.

"Whatever," I defiantly replied.

"Mmmhmm," she mmmhmmm'd. "You just make sure you're safe, I'm too young to be a grandmother.

"I bet we always follow with this conversation too," I said, and standing, began to make my way towards the stairs to go to bed, then turned around. "Oh, and Mum?"

"Yeah?" she answered.

"You're not that young." I joked.

"Fuck off!" she laughed as she threw a cushion my way. It naturally missed, a typical girl throw.

The next morning I set about getting the lads together. We all met up for lunch at some pokey little cafe that was almost too camp for my liking, but they swore the Mocha Chai Lattes were "Just to die for." I had a beer. Luckily, so did they. It was just like old times, we laughed, we drank, we pee'd on the unisex toilet seat, which we then lifted and left up.

Throughout the afternoon we went over the rules of the game again, but what we really wanted to sort was the bonus game. What was to be our challenge of the evening, to get the maximum points for the win? The ideas thrown around were the usual ideas, no surprises, until...

"You need to pull a girl without asking her name, if she gives it or you already know it, you're not aloud to use it the whole night. See if you can get a girl into bed without ever using or asking her name," suggested Scott.

I must admit, it could be a good challenge. To pull a girl without using her name, without even asking it, would a girl be that easy? The answer is no, well, for me anyway.

We had gone out to one of the more popular bars in town, The Cheshire, and I had not even gotten to the point of where you would even ask a girl their name. The lads were having more luck, but even they were striking out. Nothing says one night stand more than not giving a shit about the name of the person you're hitting on, and the ladies were onto us.

I ended up having a few more drinks than I should have and by 9pm I was stumbling around the dance floor like I was John Travolta - or so I thought. The funny thing with some girls, that really does surprise me, is they are sometimes attracted to funny guys - or guys that dance like they just don't care may appear more attractive. Whatever it was, I noticed quickly into my dashing routine, a hot little blonde number checking me out. I gave an extra accentuated shuffle into my swinging hips knowing that these were the moves of a mighty lover. The blonde laughed, looked away shyly, and then resumed watching the show of a potential mate flutter his stuff on the dance floor like a gracious swan.

I knew I had her. I began to move closer, moving to the beat of the music, eventually coming within arms reach of my prey. "Hey there pretty girl," I made my move. "I noticed you notice me."

"Marcus, you're such a dick," she laughed.

I looked at her, confusion spread across my dumbfounded face.

"It's me," she said. "Amber!"

I must have still looked confused as I remained silent, questioning.

"Your cousin!" she laughed again, slapping my shoulder.

"Ohhhhhh,' I finally recognised Amber, my 18 year old cousin. My cousin, who was looking really good these days.

"I can't believe you didn't recognise me. And I'm sure you were about to try getting off with me," Amber smiled cheekily at me.

"Well, you are hot, any warm blooded male would have tried it on with you. Hell, I still might try it on with you," I said honestly.

Amber laughed as she again slapped my shoulder. "Marcus, you're so funny. If only."

Yeah, if only. We hung out for the rest of the night in a quiet corner of the club, catching up. We had some great laughs and she wouldn't drop that I had approached her to try picking her up. Throughout the night I observed, from afar, my friends chatting up girls and striking out several times. At least to them it would appear I had hooked up with a mega blonde hotty, going so far as to refrain from using her name the whole night, just in case things did turn out for the better. Even if she is my cousin.

Tough luck, Amber eventually left me to rejoin with her friends, leaving me to feel a little stupid with nobody to talk to. Now sober, and without any of my mates in sight, I decided to call it a night and left the bar. I stopped briefly when I got outside to think of what direction my grandparent's new house was before taking out my mobile phone and calling my mother for a ride home.

It was late. Luckily Mum was still awake and not too annoyed about having to come out and get me. The ride home was fairly quiet, just general chit chat about the cool evening air and how lovely it was to see the stars out for a change. She then perked up quickly and smirked ear to ear as she kept her eyes mostly on the road, but every so often taking a moment to glance my way.

"So," she started, "How did you get on with that scoring game with your little friends?"

I had to laugh, not only because my mother wanted to know if I had gotten any tonight, but also because the only person I remotely got close to hooking up with was her niece.

"No scoring was accomplished tonight, only amazing dance moves and embarrassing myself by hitting on other family members," I replied.

Mum obviously wasn't sure what I was talking about and eyed me quizzically.

"Cousin Amber. I didn't recognise her at first, though she knew exactly who I was and thought it a great gag that I had approached her with the intent of hooking up," I smiled.

Mum laughed. "Well Amber is certainly a hot little number. I don't blame you for trying," she giggled.

"MUM!" I gasped aloud. "Completely inappropriate."

"Oh come on, I'm not a corpse, I still have blood running through this old body," she said. "Besides, young girls these days really know how to accentuate their sexuality. It's hard not to notice."

"Speaking of hard," I quickly remarked, then gently rubbed between my legs.

"MARCUS!" It was Mums turned to be shocked. "Completely inappropriate."

I had to laugh, even though it was inappropriate, she still took the easy going feel of the conversation to mimic exactly what I had said to her. Still, there was no way I was going to be beaten by my own mother in a battle of inappropriate-ness, and followed through with the charge.

"Oh come on Mum, I'm a teenager, I've nothing but blood running through this young body," I grinned. "Besides, just the thought of you getting down with sexy young girls, well, that's seriously hot."

Luckily she didn't seem to take offence, and just smiled, taking time out from the road to briefly regard me sitting next to her in the car. "My dear darling son, with pick up lines like that, it's a wonder you didn't have queues full of beautiful girls just begging to be with you, instead of getting your old mother to come pick you up."

I crossed my arms high on my chest and slouched down into the car seat, "If you're gonna be an egg then I'm not having this pleasant conversation with you," I whined.

"Suit yourself," Mum replied smiling. Within a couple of minutes we arrived at my grandparents house and we again made idol chit chat as we made our way inside, as if our inappropriate conversation had never occurred. Mum joined back into her card game with the other old people, while I said my goodnights and head off to bed. My day had been long and I surprisingly felt relieved I was able to just crash, without the awkward moments involved with hooking up with strangers and all the other rubbish that can go with........

I awoke the next morning to the incredible smell of bacon cooking in the kitchen, along with the sun shining through the windows I thought there were very few better ways to wake. We were meant to be heading off later this morning, so a nicely cooked breakfast would do wonders for the 8 hour drive home. I made my way downstairs to find only my grandmother was there and as I sat down at the table I was pleasantly greeted with a hot coffee put in front of me.

"Good morning dear, how was your sleep?" she asked as she turned to continue cooking. I could see several dirty dishes stacked on the bench so everyone must have eaten and left to go somewhere.

"Great sleep Gran. Where is everybody?" I asked before sipping on my coffee - delicious.

"You want some bacon and eggs?" she asked, to which I nodded enthusiastically. "You're Father got a call earlier this morning, an accident occurred at one of the build sites, your Mum and Poppa are driving him to the airport as he needs to get home as soon as possible to take care of things."

"Oh right - bugger. So it's just going to be me and Mum driving home today then?" I asked.

"Looks like it honey," she replied.

We continued talking for a few minutes until my breakfast was cooked and while I ate, Gran excused herself to go upstairs and freshen up. Breakfast was delicious and I downed it within a couple of minutes. With coffee in hand I thought I may act responsible for a change and go upstairs and pack, so we could at least leave on time.

Mum and Grandpa Sidney got back just after 10:30. Even though we were packed, we ended up staying for another hour drinking coffee and saying goodbye, which was said several more times before we finally left just before 12pm, with one final farewell. Mum wanted to go shopping before we left the city as there was an arcade with several boutique stores that she wanted to look at. I decided I would wait in the car, even though I had no idea what a boutique store sold, at that moment I couldn't think of anything worse than finding out.

After about thirty minutes, Mum text me asking me to put more money in the parking meter, I did this, putting enough for several hours and then text her back telling her I was going to get a drink and to keep in touch. I made my way to the closest bar and spent the next few hours drinking and playing pool with some of the other punters. Mum would message me every so often with an update but there was no rush on my part, I was having a great time. Eventually she let me know she was finished so before I left I bought a bottle of Canadian whiskey from the adjoining bottle-store and on slightly unsteady feet I walked back to the car. Looking in the back seat when I got there I could see Mum must have made a few trips back to the car as it was packed full of bags. Mum just smirked as I got into the passenger side seat, falling rather than sitting.

"Looks like you used your time wisely," she said, referring to my obvious influence.

"Likewise," I replied, motioning to her shopping spree.

"Well, when Daddy's away a girl will play," she laughed, rather pleased with herself. "Besides, with one person down for the trip home we had the room."

"Oh that is the worst example of reasoning I've ever heard," I laughed along with her.

It was just before 5pm when we eventually hit the motorway heading out of the city. The trip without Dad was a bit more fun than it was had he been there. I was even occasionally successful in persuading Mum to have a shot of whiskey, though she was always hesitant and only succumbed as a last resort to stop my incessant begging.

It was well dark and at around 8:30pm Mum suddenly pulled over to the side of the road, just short of a little motel, the cheap neon sign flickered ahead signalling a vacancy.

"Those shots have gone straight to my head and I'm suddenly not feeling up to driving any further. Especially considering we're only halfway," Mum said, obviously a little frustrated and I suddenly felt a little guilty for drinking so much myself and being unable to take over the driving.