The Story of Anita

A very special thanks to Steve(Steve Ciao) for editing this part. Your editing is simply brilliant just as your stories. Thanks to all the readers especially Ashok for encouraging me to write the third part. Thanks to the author of the hindi story which inspired me partially.

None of the characters involved in sex are below eighteen years of age.

***

Vijay speaks

That morning was the last that Labanya saw. She closed her eyes never to open them again. The world tore itself apart for me. Was it a punishment for the crime that I had committed? Somehow I had to find my own answers. I had to keep myself strong for the baby. But, my baby was she indeed mine? Ankita Didi was staying close to her all the time and attending all her needs. It was that phase of her life where a mother was all she needed.

Ankita Didi and my mother in law stayed with us till the last rituals of Labanya. Never once did Didi talk to me during this time. And perhaps, my mother in law was not aware of the heinous crime that I had committed. They left me in my loneliness after the

shraddh

of Labanya. 'They', meant all of them; Ankita Didi, her mother and the two babies. There was nothing in the world that could justify rape, but I had found a weak reason to justify my action. I had seen Labanya in Didi's face just before making her the victim of my carnal desires.

***

Ankita speaks

After the last rites of Labanya, I came to stay along with my mother. That I was a rape victim was a secret locked away deep inside the core of my heart and I realized that I had to live with it for the rest of my life. Taking care of one baby was a huge responsibility but now I had two to take care of. The changing of diapers, cleaning their clothes and nursing them took away a lot of my time and I didn't find time to even think of myself. I was unexpectedly a widow, and some of my wishes were going to stay unfulfilled for life.

It was on one such morning that I woke up to a bad dream. Something in me said that my father in law was not doing well. My mother in law had already passed away hearing the demise of her son. I should have stayed with him and performed the duties of a daughter in law but I had instead preferred to move along with Labanya. Yes, I had to pay a heavy price in guilt for not performing my duties.

I tried to call on his number but the phone was out of reach. I didn't have the number of any of the neighbors, which added to my worries. Having considered carefully, I took a big decision of moving along to my in laws house and staying with my father in law. The sky was overcast and there were predictions of heavy rains. I let my mother know my decision. She asked me to wait till the weather cleaned up but I was not prepared to take her suggestion.

I packed a few of my clothes and those of the babies. I booked a cab and proceeded straight to my in laws. By the time, I reached his town I was greeted by a change in the weather, heavy winds and rain now lashing down. It was two in the afternoon but the town had gone dark. The cab dropped me at my destination and left away.

With both children sleeping in either of my arms, I knocked at the door but no one answered. I waited sometime before knocking again and this time my call was answered. The door opened and I stared into the pale face of my father in law. He looked very sick and even before I could fall at his feet as a gesture of greeting elders, he fell down.

The room was dark. I laid down both the babies on the nearby bed and lighting the torch of my mobile I again rushed on to him. He was breathing and that was the sign that he was alive. I took a long breath as a sign of relaxation. I felt for his pulse and realized that it was weak. I rushed to the basin to bring some water within my palm and sprinkled it on his face. There was a slight reaction in his face before I sprinkled some more water. He responded by slowly opening his eyes. He stared at me for some time before saying in a weak voice:

"Beti, why are you here? The weather is so bad and you have a baby to take care of."

It seemed he was not aware of Labanya's death.

"Papa, can you get up and move to the bed?" I asked him.

(Beti means daughter in Hindi and Papa is another term for father).

"Beti, I have had five bouts of loose motion since this morning and it has made me weak. There is power failure since morning and the water purifier is not working. I have been sleeping since morning before you came."

"Papa, let me boil some water for you. But please catch hold of me and I will take you to the bed."

It took me a while to make him rise. He was six feet tall and as he put his weight on my shoulders, I realized that it was a difficult task to carry him. He took tiny steps and that actually helped me in moving to his bed. I laid him on the bed and then rushed to the kitchen to boil some water for him. I took a pan and after filling it with tap water, I placed it on the gas stove and lit it.

That was when my little girl started crying.

"She must be hungry," I thought.

As I took the baby to my breast, I scratched my brain with ideas to revive my father in law. Deaths had become too common in my family in the last few months and I was not ready to leave him so soon. He needed electrolytes and fluid. Fluids could be replenished by water, but the electrolyte part! I needed salt and sugar for that. It was dark everywhere. Could I find them in the kitchen? By now, time was very vital and every moment seemed precious. Should I wait for the water to cool? A few intravenous fluids could do the job but that needed a qualified nurse. I needed an anti-diarrheal. And, maybe I had it in my purse.

I looked at my baby and patted her gently. She was sucking at my breast vigorously to satiate her hunger. And, that was when an idea struck me.

Could I breastfeed him

? I was producing plenty of milk and that could take care of the fluid part. And when my boy had developed diarrhea, the doctor had said that there was no need for additional electrolytes as he was being breastfed. So maybe breastmilk could take care of the electrolyte part too. The idea seemed weird but had logic.

Only if Papa would agree to my proposal, I could try this experiment. It was dark everywhere and uncovering my chest to him did not seem a big deal especially since his life was at stake.

It took me another few minutes before I finished feeding my girl. I lay her down next to my baby boy and went to the room where my father in law was resting.

"Papa, are you awake?" I called to him lightly.

"Yes, beti," he said in a weak voice.

I moved myself in the direction of the voice with my mobile torch and sat next to him. I had to let him know my decision quickly. I ran my hand through his hair.

"Papa, you will be alright. Please have patience," I continued. "Papa, you need fluids for your body and the water is yet to boil. It would have to be cooled before you can drink and, the whole process will take time."

I guessed he was listening to me. And, so I proceeded.

"Papa, drink my milk for now. I think you will.."

Before, I could even complete my sentence, he objected.

"That's wrong beti."

Before he could even speak further, I interrupted.

"Nothing is wrong, Papa. Take it as a medicine. Time is so precious. I am feeling so guilty for letting you live alone in all these bad times. This will be a secret between you and me."

And, so saying I sat myself on the bed with my legs crossed. I had planned to feed him from my right breast as my left was nearly empty and it would take some time before it was full again with milk.

"Papa, please bring your head on my lap."

"This is wrong, beti," he murmured.

"Your health is precious to me. There is nothing wrong in this." I replied back positively.

Eventually, may be due to his frailty, he stopped objecting and helped me in putting his head on my lap. That was a cue for me to take the next step. I had not buttoned my blouse after feeding my girl. I turned his head to my chest before he spoke again.

"Beti, please turn off the mobile light."

I obeyed him instantly. The blouse was uncovered and the strap of the bra was removed. I caught hold of the back of his head firmly and bent myself a little forward to give him assess to my breast. He opened his mouth as my nipple touched his lips. I pushed my breast further into his mouth before he finally closed his mouth. His mouth was dry as sand and I realized how precious my decision was. He gave one or two weak sucks but the milk didn't come out.

"Relax, Papa. Just continue sucking," I said and gently squeezed my breast from above in the direction of my nipple.

I repeated the act a few times before I felt the familiar tickling in my nipple, followed by an ejection of my milk into his mouth. I could hear him gulping as he took the nectar down his throat.

"Papa, please give a little pressure with your lips," I encouraged him.

He obeyed and gradually increased his pressure over my peri-areolar skin. I could feel the drops transform into a familiar stream. The milk disgorged into his mouth with increased pace. I moved my hand over his head and back. I hummed a lullaby and that helped in releasing more milk.

My father in law continued sucking me greedily. It seemed he was thirsty since ages. I held back a tear in my eye.

"Yes Papa, drink me completely. You will become fine."

I could hear the gulping sound from his throat as I felt my breast gradually getting light. It was a while before I finally realized that the flow was decreasing and finally coming to a stop.

"Papa, can you leave me for a while? I need some time to fill up again."

He unlatched himself and I slowly put his head on the bed.

"Sorry Papa. Take some rest. I will come soon."

I wiped his face with my saree to remove any milk drops from his lips. I strapped up my bra and buttoned my blouse before going to check the boiling water in the kitchen. I had successfully breastfed my father in law and maybe that was a great step in bringing him back to life. It was a proud moment for me and I smiled at myself on my success.

The next big problem was whether I could actually produce enough milk to feed three mouths and one being an adult. This problem had arisen initially when my baby girl had latched on to my bosom and I had successfully passed that phase by producing enough milk for the two mouths. My baby boy would not be hungry in another two hours. So, maybe I could offer my milk to my father in law another time within the next half an hour. But that meant he would still be short of his actual fluid requirements. The boiling water would have cooled itself by then and I hoped that would be enough for my father in law.

It was dark all around. The daylight didn't have the strength to lighten the rooms due mainly to the heavy rain. I switched off the gas boiling the water and went along with the mobile in the caliginous atmosphere searching for an alternate light source. I soon realized that the rooms had not been cleaned in ages. The need of a woman in the house was obvious. I promised myself to get the rooms cleaned at the earliest.

I checked on the room where Rohit and I used to stay. It was locked. Maybe, Papa had decided to stay aloof from the memories of his son for the rest of his life. Everything seems happy unless death happens. I had nearly made up my mind about Rohit and Labanya's absence in my life, but Papa needed to be strengthened to make up with the loss of the two pillars of his life.

I checked on my children and found them sleeping peacefully. I moved to the kitchen again to search for sugar and salt, the vital elements for a patient suffering from loose motion. After some exploration, I was finally successful in getting the two. My next search was for the anti-diarrheal medicines. I had them in my purse as I remembered and a brief search confirmed the same.

Thirty minutes had passed by in a whisker and a there was a gradual heaviness building up in my breasts. I moved to Papa's room again and found him resting peacefully. My only concern was if he vomited. If that happened it would be difficult to manage his dehydration. I sat beside him and whispered into his ears while simultaneously stroking his hair.

"Papa, how are you feeling?"

"A little bit better. Thank you my dear for my life."

I felt a hint of strength in his voice but if it was just a feeling I could not confirm myself.

"Papa, it's time I feed you again," I said as I adjusted myself on the bed.

There was no reply from him but there wasn't any objection from him either. I placed his head on my lap. The blouse was unbuttoned and the bra unstrapped again, before I offered my left breast near his mouth which he took quite readily. The flow started after a few sucks and he continued emptying me out to replenish his lost body fluids. I planted a soft kiss on his forehead. The act was natural as I usually kissed my children during feeding and it accelerated the milk release. He stopped for a moment and then continued his feeding. I continued stroking his hair as a sign of affection.

The real problem started then. The electricity revisited the house again and with the room getting lighted there was a sudden change in both of us. He unlatched instantly and looked me straight in to my eyes. I realized that there was a feeling of guilt mixed with shyness in his eyes. My breast was bare and a pound of shyness slowly clouded my face. He gave a look at my sagging breast, the nipple still dripping milk. I covered my breast instantly with the loose end of the saree while he tried to get up from my lap. There was a strange feature regarding light. When present it hid many of the human feelings that actually would have exploded out during dark. So with the room getting brighter we suddenly felt ourselves as complete strangers to the act we were performing.

His weak body disobeyed his move and he fell down flat on the bed. I tried to catch hold of him as a reflex action but his huge body pulled me and I fell over his chest. My breasts squashed up against on his manly chest. There was a pinch of excitement taking over me as I looked into his eyes again. Maybe it was the lack of any good sex over the last few months that gave birth to these feelings, or maybe it was his eyes that reminded me of Rohit. Blame it on anyone but I had suddenly developed some feelings for my lonely father in law. The feeling was instantaneous and it died down as soon as it was born. I recovered my senses quickly and before checking on what his eyes said, I got up instantly from over him and adjusted my saree. I got down from the bed without looking at him in the eyes and said:

"Papa, let me get the water from the water purifier. You will feel better."

I rushed to the drawing room where my luggage was kept, hiding the smile beneath my face. I searched for the one thing that I had forgotten to wear since morning- my nursing pads. I gripped the bra firmly over my breasts and removed a piece of the material. My hands moved over the softness of my breasts to my nipple. The milk flow had subsided but there was still a drop collected over the nipple. I moved my fingers over it again and again to feel for any wetness. It was not the moisture of the milk but the salivary impression of my father in law's mouth that I was searching for over the rubbery texture. Did I feel something or was it just my imagination?

There were warm radiations being emitted from my face and did I feel a drop of moisture collecting down in my love canal? Was I getting attracted to my father in law? Was it wrong? Definitely it was wrong and I realized that I had to control on all my feelings if I had to live in the house with him.

I put both the nursing pads in position before finally checking on the blouse for any wet spots. It was a usual problem for me. There were none and so I buttoned my blouse to cover up my nutritious mammaries.

I moved to the kitchen to prepare the electrolyte solution. Two teaspoonfuls of sugar and a pinch of salt in a glass of water did the job. I stirred the solution and along with the anti-diarrheal medicine proceeded to face my father in law again. Papa was sitting resting his back against the head end of the bed. He seemed lost in thoughts and I realized that it had to do with me.

"Papa, this is for you."

He came back to his senses and took the glass from my hand but didn't drink it. Maybe, he was overshadowed with guilt and I realized that I had to start a conversation with him.

"Papa, what would you have for lunch today?"

He took his own time before responding.

" Beti, I don't think there is anything in the house to prepare for lunch. Take the number of the grocery store from my mobile and give him a call. I think the rain has calmed down. They will deliver the items to our home."

"Papa, take these medicines along with the water."

He took the medicines and gulped them down along with the water.

"Papa, where is your phone?"

"It should be in the drawing room."

I went to check in the kitchen for all the items that I wished for and made a list of the missing ones. Then, I called the grocery store. I dictated to them the list of items needed and they informed that they will take another half an hour to deliver the same.

My mind was fighting a war. The impending storm had fallen apart but the battle within had just intensified. My mind vacillated between what was right and what was wrong. I needed to preoccupy my mind to avert such thoughts. I went on a mission of cleaning the house and I started with the drawing room. I carried the babies to my father in law's room. He seemed absent minded at first but on seeing both the babies, he enquired about it. I had to explain him about Labanya's death and he seemed happy with my decision. He took my already awake boy in his arms as I came back to the drawing room with the pretext of cleaning. There was lot of dust everywhere and it seemed as if the room had been uninhabited for ages. The broom was my new weapon as I went along fighting the dust and cleaning the rooms.

Once the drawing room was cleaned, I went on to check on my father in law. I found him playing with my son. He seemed happy and must have gotten over the embarrassing situation that we both been partners in.

"Papa, hope you are feeling better?"

He looked me into my eyes and that gaze reminded me of Rohit. Fearing the worse, I looked away.

"Yes beti, I am feeling a lot better. I think these children will revive my strength back to normal."

And, did he deliberately avoid the real reason of his strength revival. Oh how much I wished to nourish him again with my salubrious nectar.

"Can you come to the drawing room? Sit and watch TV. I have finished cleaning it."

"Okay beti as you wish."

He took my boy in his arms and went along to the drawing room. I carried the baby girl and followed him. On seeing the cleaned rooms, he was surprised and said.

"Beti, don't put yourself into so much stress. We can work this out together. I had lost my interest in life after the death of Rohit and my wife. But now I realize I can still survive without them."

He kissed my son on his forehead and embraced him again.

"Papa, relax yourself and play with the babies. It is my duty to keep the house clean. Where is the key to my room?"

"That should be in the cupboard in my room, inside the locker. It was locked from the day you left the house."

"I am sorry, Papa. I was in so severe depression then."

"I am not blaming you. I understood your problem. So I let you go."

I went to fetch the key again from the cupboard and opened the room after nearly three months. It was the same room where I had given up my virginity to Rohit. Once the doors were closed from the outside world, he would take me instantly in his arms. My softness would get crushed under his body as he garnered my pride of being a woman with his manly thrusts.