In a blur of pink and blonde, three little girls ran past me, shouting goodnights as they raced each other down the hall. Chloe, lagging behind the others, stopped and threw herself into my arms. At five, and the younger of my two daughters, she's very affectionate.
"Goodnight Daddy. Thank you for bringing us to Aunt Nicky's house. I love it here. And I love you, Daddy." She kissed me, and then wriggled free and chased her sister and cousins down the hall.
"Goodnight girls. Now stay in Chantelle's room and give me and your aunt Nicky some peace. You got it?"
A chorus of "Sure", "g'night Uncle Jonny, g'night Mommy" and similar cries came down the hall to us. Then the door of Chantelle's room slammed shut, and Nicky smiled.
"It's good to see them so happy," she said. "They play together so well."
"Yeah. And now we may just get a little time to ourselves. They're pretty hard work apart, but put the four of them together and they're exhausting!"
The pink tornado that is our combined troupe of daughters -- troupe being, I believe, the correct word to describe a group of screeching, uncontrollable monkeys -- had finally swirled out of our immediate vicinity and shut itself in the room of my sister Nicky's eldest, ten year-old Chantelle, to watch endless DVDs, eat popcorn, drink sodas and forget to brush its teeth. My eldest, Jenna, aged eight, and little Chloe were inseparable from Chantelle and her seven-year old sister Bree. Tonight's sleepover was a great shared adventure and they were so excited that it had been hard work just keeping them from running riot in Nicky's house. Now there was a good chance that Chantelle would 'mommy' the younger ones, they'd all dote on little Chloe and -- hopefully -- we wouldn't see them again until morning.
Nicky took a bottle of wine from the refrigerator and poured us two glasses. The sound of a Disney DVD came down the hall towards us. I closed the dividing door and sat on the couch.
"I think it's good for them," she said. "You can see that Chloe really misses her mom. I know Jenna does too, but she just tries to hide it more and pretend to be grown-up. And my two really love it when Jenna and Chloe come to play. They've been totally excited all week."
"Yeah. It's great to see them happy. They've all been through a lot."
Nicky handed me my wine and sat down beside me on the couch. She pulled up and folded her long legs in front of her, and sat facing me. "Have you thought about getting them a new mom?"
"I don't know. They miss Shauna so much, I'm a little worried that they might reject anyone else who tried to take her place. Maybe I'll give it another year and see how we all feel about it. And you; are you looking for a new dad for your girls?"
Shauna had died two years ago. Some drug addict in a stolen SUV had side-swiped her car on the freeway and pushed her into a concrete pillar on her way into the city. My only consolation was that the medics said she must've died instantly. I fell apart. It was only the girls -- and Nicky -- who put me back together, and since then I've tried to be strong for them.
For Nicky it had been different. Philip went off with another woman, they divorced, and the girls barely saw their father. It seemed he'd never really wanted kids -- least of all two girls.
"No. I can't face all that dating and stuff. I mean, finding babysitters, getting made up, going out with guys who look OK but turn out to be jerks. Then doing it all again." She sipped her wine. "Maybe -- maybe when the girls are a little older."
Nicky's three years older than me. My big sister and me, well, we've always been close. Mom and Dad split up when we were in our teens, and we each became the other's shoulder to cry on. Then along came Philip, then Shauna, then two daughters each. We'd get together at weekends and let our growing brood of little angels play together while we four adults hung out. Except now there were just two adults left -- Nicky and me, in our mid-thirties, stressed with solo child-care and different forms of grief. These days, we'd provide each other with support as much as anything. That and some sensible adult conversation after a week of trading small-talk with two girls under ten who thought they were princesses half the time and kicked, screamed, yelled and cried like wild animals the rest. We still needed the shoulder, even if we cried a little less these days.
"But don't you get lonely, Jonny? You're still a hot young guy. I'd have thought there'd still be loads of girls following you around. I mean, what do you do for sex these days? Don't you need a woman for that sometimes?"
Nicky and I had always been close, so the directness of her question didn't startle me. I smiled.
"Thanks for the compliment, sis. Having my two and a full-time job means I don't get much energy at the end of the day, even if there were women around who wanted a guy with two young kids. I did have a brief 'thing' with a girl from the office a few months back, but it didn't work out. Seems she had a boyfriend and was only using me for some variety. But hey, at least I got some. Oh, and I had a one-night stand with a girl I met at a friend's party last year. It was OK, but I kept thinking of Shauna. I guess I don't really want loveless sex. I can get that from my right hand. But you -- you're pretty damn hot yourself. Don't tell me you've decided to take holy orders?"
She gave a little laugh. "And thank you for the compliment to an old lady, kind sir! Oh, sure, I'd like to find a guy. God knows I need a warm body from time to time. Since Philip left I've had nothing but my rabbit for company. He's good, but not that good. The trouble is, I just don't really know where to start. All my girlfriends are married and my co-workers are all women, so it's hard to meet suitable men. I'm too old for clubs and I couldn't face hanging around in bars."
"Why not get yourself onto one of those dating sites? I keep thinking about it for me, and maybe that's where I'll start when Chloe's a little older. But we could compose an ad for you?"
"No. I don't think so."
"Oh come on sis! It'll be fun. Tell you what -- I'll help you compose yours and you can help me compose mine. Then maybe we'll put them both up and see what happens."
"OK, I guess. So where do I start? 'Reasonable-looking mother of 2, 38, wishes to meet attractive man for' -- for what? It would be nice to have a dependable guy to help me look after the girls, but like I say, I'm not sure I'm ready for all of the relationship stuff yet. I think that what I most need -- most urgently -- is some good sex. Philip was OK, but I now realize it was all about him."
"Hey, sis, that's OK. Everyone needs it -- God knows there are times when I do since Shauna died. But if it's just sex you're after, we'll have to choose a different site and we have to make your ad hotter."
"OK. How about "Attractive mom, 38...'"
"No. Try 'Hot MILF, 35...'"
"MILF?"
"'Mother I'd Like to Fuck'. It says you're really hot."
She smiled. "As if!" She took a big gulp of her wine.
"Absolutely as if! You're really sexy and you know it. Look -- how about..."Hot MILF, 30's, blue eyes, blonde, great tits, pert ass, long legs..."
"Why don't you add 'loves sucking cock' while you're at it?" she smirked.
"Look sis, if you need sex, then the sort of place we'll put this ad would love this stuff. So do you want it in?"