The White Rose Crisis

Note from the Author: as this story is part of an extended narrative, I suggest first reading parts one and two. Also I will admit the incest in this part is slightly lessened, but the interaction is an important step towards the final parts in the story. Thanks for giving it a read.

-

Part 3: Investigating incest

"Will! Did you move my shoes???"

"Your shoes are in the laundry, they smell bad and I didn't think we needed to be subjected to that." Jaimi retrieved her missing shoes and made a face at me.

"Well that was nice of you, except the part where your shoes smell worse than mine. But it's the thought that counts." I smiled as she sat down to tie her laces, getting up to put my breakfast bowl in the sink. As I passed her I ruffled her hair playfully, smiling more as she tried to slap my hand away. Mum found it all very amusing.

"Well, you two certainly are getting along better aren't you?" she noted. Jaimi winked at me and I winked back. It was true, in the 2 days since the confrontation with my sister we had found a new kind of relationship forming between us, and it was definitely friendlier than what we had before.

"Well, I'm off to work. Are you getting a lift with me Jaimi?" Mum asked. My little sister quickly got up and followed Mum to the door, grabbing her gym bag on the way.

"Hope you don't stink out the locker room with your shoes!" I called out. She turned and stuck her tongue out at me.

"Don't get too comfortable, I think it's time you crawled off the couch and got out more!" she replied, winking at me again. I was still trying to work out what she meant when the door closed and they were gone. After finishing up in the kitchen I headed upstairs to my room, pondering the events which had led to this happy new life with my sister.

I had seen myself as a monster. I thought I had gotten her pregnant, and almost blurted out an apology for having sex with her while completely drunk at my older sister Sarah's wedding, when in actual fact she was no where near me at the time. I had been paranoid, and it very nearly got the better of me. But we talked about her troubles instead, and things were fine between us now, so I decided from then on I would need to be much more careful.

To that end, I had a plan. In a small box underneath my bed, between my spare runners and lecture notes from last semester's bioanthropology class, sat the clues I had collected about the mystery girl at the wedding. One of those clues was a list of things I remembered from our sexual encounter in the bedroom:

red underwear

soft long(ish) hair - straight? Wavy?

bright nails?

breasts - not as small as Meghan's, larger

pubic hair - short, trimmed, dark colour

missing rose

The box also contained the white fabric rose from the wedding that had fallen off my girl's dress, as well as several printed photos. I'd started gathering USB drives and memory cards from everyone who had taken photos at the wedding, downloading anything relevant and going through one by one examining them for information. I'd only spoken to a few people so far and had lots more to collect; I could only hope that the gaps in the night would be filled by a well-timed picture, but there was no way of knowing until I saw everything.

One of the photos I printed out showed all of the girls in the bridal party and one or two others, differentiated by their dark or light blue dresses and the presence of the roses. It was taken at the start of the night, and it showed white roses on my sister Sarah - the bride in her white gown - her bridesmaids Jaimi, my other sister, Lucy, my cousin, and Meghan our childhood friend, in their light blue matching dresses, and Mum, Auntie Ellie, my other young cousin Amy and Jaimi's friend Taylor in slightly darker blue dresses. These were my potential girls.

Four of them - Taylor, Amy, Mum, and Jaimi - had crosses in red marker on their dresses, showing I had eliminated them as possibilities. Mum and Taylor both had their roses at the wedding not long after I left the bedroom, as did Amy - not that I had considered her an actual possibility anyway, since she was only an 8

th

grader and had been stuck downstairs all night. Jaimi had produced her dress and rose for Mum a day after our talk, stain free, which further convinced me that we hadn't had sex.

Meghan I was fairly sure hadn't been in the room - a fact which didn't make me feel any less uncomfortable - as her body was different enough from the others that I figured I would probably have been able to feel that it wasn't her. With only vague drunken guesswork to go on, though, I decided I couldn't completely rule her out, so as a technical possibility I had left her uncrossed. The other three options were Sarah, Auntie Ellie and Lucy.

Lucy.

I held up a photo I had just downloaded off of a memory card one of my uncles gave me that showed Lucy, Jaimi and a few other girls at a table. I wasn't sure but it looked later in the day, some time after I had been upstairs. They were all laughing and having a good time - I thought I could see Jaimi fidgeting with her rose, so it was probably after her own drunken fuck, which I still couldn't get out of my head for some reason - and there was a drink in everyone's hand. My eyes were on Lucy, though. By now everyone had let their hair down, literally and figuratively, and hers was slightly messed up. She was reasonably red in the face, and there on her chest...no rose.

I wasn't happy about the chances of my having committed incest, but both before and after I realised it might have happened I had admitted to myself at least once that my cousin Lucy was sexy. All my guy friends were after her, and some of the girls too, not that she was giving in to their advances. She had a way of flaunting her body without coming across as slutty or anything - she often dressed quite casually, and her outfits never went as short and skimpy as those of other girls her age. I kind of liked that about both her and Meghan. I'm a simple guy to please, and they both enjoyed having a good time but never at the expense of their dignity. Lucy was definitely more of a free spirit though, the kind of girl who would occasionally blurt out something sexual she had gotten up to or was into and shrug off the amazed eyes of her male friends...

My phone going off snapped me out of my thoughts and I answered it automatically.

"Hello, this is Will."

"Hey, it's Meghan." My eyes popped open and I dropped the photos. Somehow I felt dirty even holding them while talking to her.

"Oh hey Meghan, yeah, what's up?"

"I haven't heard from you in a while, how are you?" I knew she had spoken to Jaimi, so this wasn't a general family call.

"I'm alright, lots to do before uni goes back, you know. How 'bout you?"

"Yeah, pretty busy. Lots to do." There was a pause. "Did you get my message?" Her message...free for coffee. The day after talking to Jaimi I had started playing detective and completely forgot.

"Yeah, yeah sorry I got caught up doing stuff, I totally forgot about that. Didn't mean to leave you hanging."

"Oh no, that's alright, you didn't, it was only if you were free." She sounded slightly flustered now.

"I was, well I mean I thought I was I just, yeah, got caught up," I finished lamely.

You already said that dumbass.

"I'll make it up to you, it'd be nice to have coffee before things properly pick up again."

"You could make up to me now, if you like?" she said quietly. That was a different tone of voice to what I was used to hearing. Was she...asking me out?

"Hello?"

"Yes, yes I'm here."

"You have something else on, I'm sorry, it's cool."

"

No!

I mean - no, I'm not busy. Where would you like to go?"

"Well, we could meet up at the shops first, then decide? I heard the northside shopping centre looks good after the renovations."

"Sure, but maybe give me maybe half an hour to have a shower and get moving."

"Ok great, I'll see you there. Bye!" She sounded a lot perkier, I couldn't help but smile at that as I put my phone down and turned back to the photos. The last few weeks had been really rough on her. She'd been depressed and Sarah mentioned that she hadn't been sleeping well. Considering all that, this was actually a very cheerful mood. I wondered if the meeting could mean what I thought it might. All these years and I don't think either of us had seriously considered hanging out as anything more than friends, for no real reason either. Even if I was only thinking of the word "date", it would still make this something special.

I packed up the photos and put the list of clues back into the box, looking one last time at the one of Lucy. Jaimi said she had hooked up with someone, but so far I hadn't seen her getting particularly close to any guys whatsoever. She had spent most of the night with the girls getting tipsy, and unless I could find a photo showing her taking interest in another guy I was more than a little worried. Her boobs were big, she was appropriately drunk and I could imagine her being into quickies, even at weddings. I shook my head and put the photo with the others, sliding the box back under my bed and heading for the bathroom. A break is what I needed. Too much stress and I could start getting paranoid again.

-

I pulled into the carpark of the northside shops, running just a few minutes over time. I felt nervous for a number of reasons, partly because this sort of opportunity had never previously presented itself. Being a guy I had of course thought about Meghan before - I'd have to be a little absent-minded not to - but this was the first time in our later years we had both been commitment-free, and weddings to tend to make people think about their own futures. Having spent a fair amount of time around each other leading up to the big day, not seeing each other for more than a week afterwards felt quite strange, and it was only now that I was beginning to gain control over the turmoil my emotions had gone through that it had become apparent to me. I quickly promised myself I would do right by both of us and put recent events out of my mind to just enjoy our time together.

As I locked the car my phone buzzed with a new message:

hey did u want to meet at coffee guild? ill be waiting outside ;)

I smiled and quickly replied. She certainly seemed much perkier than before the wedding. Sarah hadn't specified what her issue was, only that it was mostly to do with her previous relationship and subsequent fallout.

This will be good for the both of us,

I thought to myself, and headed inside to meet her.

When I reached

Coffee Guild

there she was, waiting for me. Meghan wore plain blue jeans and green runners with a small dark maroon hoodie that seemed to hug her slim form, her hands tucked deep into the pockets. Her brown hair which usually fell below her shoulders looked like it had been cut a little shorter and was tied back in a small modest ponytail, and she wore a dark grey scarf around her neck against the cold. When she saw me she pulled a woollen gloved hand out of one pocket and waved, smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back at her; if there's one thing I always loved about Meghan it's how cute she looks in even the simplest outfit, her hazel eyes glowing from behind her glasses.

"Hey," she said as I approached her. "I'm actually a little hungry so I thought maybe we could have some lunch."

"Sure, I could eat. Are you happy to eat here?" she nodded and we went in to find a spot. It was fairly packed but we managed to find a pair of seats at a small table in the corner, so Meghan sat down and held the table while I went up and ordered a few sandwiches and coffees. I looked over while I waited in line and she was sitting happily at our table for two, and once again I couldn't help but notice how good her mood was. Whatever problems had been troubling her may have passed, but secretly I hoped it was because she was out with me right now instead of home alone.

We chatted for a while, just catching up and talking. She told me her progress at work and university and I genuinely took an interest. I made the occasional joke and she genuinely laughed. Things were fine between us, and I was having a good time. Then as we got to the end of our drinks she took a breath and closed up a little, the way she does when she is feeling shy.

"So I've been thinking," she said.

"And you're alright?" I replied. She smacked my hand and smiled, but she was clearly nervous.

"Yes I am, thankyou very much. Well, I actually did some thinking a while ago, and at the wedding I sort of made a decision." I tried not to let the word 'wedding' trigger unpleasant memories. Instead I pictured Meghan the way she was, wearing her gorgeous blue dress, sitting at a table alone. I had wanted to go over to her, but I never did. Was that going to affect this talk?

"What is it, Meghan? You know you can talk to me about anything." she looked up at me and a small smile spread across her lips. It made me feel a lot better.

"When I broke up with Dan, I got really depressed, for a number of reasons. I was glad to have you and Sarah and everyone else there for me," she said. "I spent a lot of time alone, and I realized I've been doing some consistent things in my relationships. Stupid things, or at least, some pretty not smart things. I knew I had to change somehow." She fiddled with her mug. "In a way, though, even though I've been fairly miserable, I feel like the timing worked out really well, because I was the happiest I'd been in a long time watching Sarah get married." She looked up at me to see if I was still following. I was listening more intently than I'd ever done so before. She looked back down into her half empty mug.

"I guess you're wondering why I'm telling you this. Where I'm going with this is that there's something I want to try. I've decided that I want to do things differently, and...well, I don't want this to come across as just because the timing is right, but I've missed enough chances in this lifetime to let another one get away." With this she looked up at me again and this time she wasn't holding anything back. I could see her interest there, the same interest I had known would exist as adults, having grown up as friends. It wasn't passionate or strong yet, but it was there.

"I know how I feel, how I've felt for a while now, and I don't know if you know what I'm talking about, but I think you do. I guess what I'm saying is...I love you as a friend, Will. We've been together for a long time now, all of us, but I know there's always been a chance for something else there, something neither of us has acted on, for whatever reason, and it's been great even still. But, well...I want to act on it now," she finished, biting her lip. I felt guilty all of a sudden. I realized she was only hoping that I felt the same way she did. I had no idea my feelings had been so hidden all this time, and now after everything she'd been through it was her taking the emotional gamble.

"So," I said, feeling an urge to confirm my interest and take her fear away. "How do we avoid ruining the friendship we have, if we are trying for more?" Her face lit up, realising I was prepared to take this chance with her. I had grown up with this girl as a close friend, and now we were going to try something a little different.

"To put it simply, I want to take things slow. I know we already know almost everything about one another, but I think if we take our time getting to know each other in this new way, it might work. It's going to be a little strange at first," she said, smiling shyly at me, "for me, anyway." I couldn't help but agree that it would take a bit of getting used to.

"Ok," I said, raising my cup. "To taking it slow?" Meghan smiled, lifting her own.

"To taking it slow." We touched mugs and sipped the last of our coffee, a smile on each of our faces.

-

"You know, I've never really had a good relationship," said Meghan. We were wandering the bookstore, looking for a missing book from her collection. "Things always move too fast and get too complicated before I want them to, and I make decisions based on someone else's actions instead of my own. What's worse is that I've ruined a lot of friendships that way," she finished, biting her lip.

"I know what you're saying," I replied. "But I think it'll be different. We've known each other for a long time. There's a lot to our friendship, and I think as long as we are honest with each other then we will be just fine." She nodded, looking a little relieved.

We ended up heading to the movies, some comedy about old actors playing retirees reuniting among casinos and bars for one last hurrah. It wasn't a bad movie really, but my mind was on other things. What would it be like actually dating Meghan? Would we act differently at home and with our friends and family? There was a lot of trust and love there, but was it the kind of love we were both after?

My thoughts were interrupted by a new sensation. A small, warm hand slid its way into mine, giving me a gentle squeeze. I glanced over at Meghan. She was watching the movie, but she had a little smile on her face, the kind of smile I hadn't seen on her for a long time.

-

Meghan had work the next two days, so I didn't see her, but given our slow and steady approach that didn't seem like a bad thing. We met for another coffee after that, and again a few days later. In the meantime, I had amassed four more batches of photos from the wedding, but none of them showed much, just basic group photos of the ceremony and afterwards. I did notice a lot more of Lucy and Jaimi getting fairly drunk together in one collection, and even some of Taylor too, but nothing that told me where any of them had been.

This was starting to get really frustrating. The more time that passed the more I worried about what I would do when I solved the puzzle, and how I was supposed to explain myself. I also thought about what the mystery girl might be doing. It had been a while since the wedding, and that couldn't be good. With no progress made I organised to meet Meghan, thinking I could justify getting out as a way to clear my head.

She had just finished work in the city, so we found ourselves walking hand in hand along the new foreshore development area, where a series of cafés and restaurants had already cropped up, expecting more business to come as apartments were sold. It was a beautiful spot, with a nearby park that Meghan often came to on her lunch break. It was a normal day, and I had been enjoying spending more time with Meghan, especially with her hand in mine, but then I saw something that almost stopped me in my tracks.

Taylor...and Lucy. They were sitting at a popular chocolate shop, talking quietly to each other, laughing every now and then and leaning in towards each other, conspiratorially.

Lucy.

She was still on my list, a contender for the mystery girl from the wedding. I knew I would have to check her off sooner or later, but seeing her chatting so easily with Taylor made me nervous.

Taylor said she would never tell anyone about what we were planning on doing in the hotel room. She knew it would do no good since she was a lot younger than me and was both Jaimi's classmate and one of Sarah's students. On the other hand, Lucy was a very sexual girl, and if they got onto a topic something was bound to come up eventually. If Lucy figured out she had had drunk sex at the same time and place that Taylor was expecting to meet me, it would spell disaster. If it really was her, I had to tell her myself, and that meant getting evidence of the truth before she heard it from anyone else.

"Everything ok?" Meghan asked. I turned back to her and nodded, smiling at her as I gave her hand a squeeze. She hadn't seen Lucy.