Tom's Noisy Girlfriend

"See!" Samantha said. "This week hasn't been so bad."

"Actually," I admitted. "I'm having a lot of fun."

"I told you so!" she said, grinning for a moment before asking, "So, where to next?"

"How about back to our hotel for a nap?"

"Oh no!" she laughed. "We did that yesterday and the day before that, and..."

"I'm tired," I argued.

"That's your excuse every day," she said, obviously not believing me. "But our 'naps', though enjoyable, seldom actually entail any sleep."

"You didn't seem to mind before. In fact, up until now, I haven't heard any complaints," I smiled, remembering the shared pleasure.

"And you won't hear any tonight," she promised. "But we never end up coming back to any of the amusement parks after we go for our little 'naps' and this is our last full day. I'm not ready to leave yet!"

"Oh, okay," I sighed dramatically, but then smiled and added, "Since you like the parks so much, you choose where we go from here."

"I want to see the castle one more time!" she said excitedly.

Samantha was acting like such a big kid this week, but I wasn't really surprised. A month ago she all but begged me to come with her. It was her favorite vacation place!

"And maybe do a little shopping?" I teased.

"Of course!" she grinned. "But just a little. We'll be stopping downtown before we leave for the airport tomorrow."

"Not that place!" I groaned. "It took me three hours to get you out of there last time!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure they'll let you play with the Lego again," she said, trying to hold in her laughter. "Maybe this time you can make a car that will win a race."

"He cheated!" I cried, remembering the seven year old who built a car out of Lego that proceeded to beat all others, including mine.

"That kid is going to be an engineer when he grows up!" she said, no longer bothering to hide her laughter.

I smiled as I watched her. Samantha was a good soul. She was also attractive and smart. I cared for her a great deal and I was lucky to have her for a girlfriend. If I were a smart man, I would ask her to marry me.

'Wow!' I said to myself, realizing what I was thinking. 'Plenty of time for that!' After all, we'd only been dating for a few months.

I wasn't really spooked by my thoughts, but I was surprised. I was almost thirty-three and never once had I found someone I thought worth marrying till now. A face began to form in my mind, but I refused to dwell on it. Instead, I focused on Samantha and contemplated finally settling down.

Later that day we saw the castle and I suggested one of her favorite rides, but Samantha wanted to see the show they gave in front of the castle so we waited with a million other people. Okay, it wasn't actually that bad, but it was crowded.

We settled in a good spot and chatted. I found myself thinking about marriage and the possibility of children a number of times while we waited. Samantha would make a great mother and I thought at thirty-three I was ready to be a father.

"Wait here!" Samantha grinned and ran off. I watched her and shook my head.

"She really is just one big kid!" I laughed to myself.

I started watching the crowd while I waited for her to return. The bulk of those milling about for the show were kids, no surprise there. I let my mind wonder for a moment and daydreamed about what Samantha and my kids might look like. It was a pleasant picture.

I noticed one little girl giggling and running past me. She couldn't have been more than three or four. I watched as her mother sprinted past me and caught up to her. She pulled the little girl into a hug and tickled her. They were both laughing. I smiled and was about to look away when the woman turned toward me and I saw her face. My chest literally tightened and I froze.

"Janet," I said softly. I hadn't seen my cousin in five years. Not since...I refused to think about it.

I tried to turn away, but couldn't. I stood there transfixed as she continued to play with her daughter. I was happy for my cousin. She'd obviously found someone that made her happy, yet inside I felt a numbness begin to spread.

Only moments before I'd been thinking about marrying Samantha, but as I watched my cousin I knew I couldn't do it. It wouldn't be fair to Samantha. She was the perfect woman in so many ways, but the simple truth was I didn't love her.

"Not the way I love..." I began softly, but I was interrupted by Samantha's return.

"Here you go!" she said, handing me an ice cream.

"Thanks," I said, but she knew something was up by my tone.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm not feeling well," I replied, which wasn't a lie.

"Maybe we should go back to the hotel?" Samantha asked in obvious concern.

It was at that moment that Janet saw me watching her. Our eyes met and she smiled and took a step toward me, but then she saw Samantha place her hand on my forehead in concern.

Janet's daughter grabbed her dress and pulled until my cousin looked down and took the little girl's hand. Our eyes met once more, but this time there was only sadness.

"I think we'd better leave," I said softly.

"Okay," Samantha said.

I didn't look back over my shoulder as we left, but it wasn't easy. What was worse was the concern in Samantha's expression. I was almost ready to marry her only a few short moments ago, but now I could never do it.

In a way it was probably a good thing that I saw Janet. I loved Samantha as a person and the thought of having children with her was a good one, but I wasn't in love with her. It wouldn't be fair to Samantha. She deserved better.

***

"How come you never visit your family?" Wendy asked.

"You should try the veal special," I said, trying to ignore the question and change the subject. "I had it the last time I was here. It's delicious."

"And how come every time I bring them up you change the subject?" she asked, unwilling to let the subject drop this time.

"What's with your infatuation with my family?" I asked, still refusing to answer her question. I focused on the menu.

"I'm just curious," she said. "I mean, we've been dating for months and you hardly ever bring them up. You didn't even go home for the holidays."

"Let's just say I had a falling out with them," I said tersely, letting her know I didn't want to talk about it.

"About what?" she asked, ignoring my tone.

I had a sudden flashback to seven years before. The scene played itself out and I literally cringed before it was done. How could everything be so perfect one moment and then so totally screwed up the next?

"Wendy, let's change the subject," I said, being blunt this time. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" she asked, refusing to let it drop.

"Why are you so curious?" I asked in return.

"Well," she said. "It's just that I'd like to meet your parents."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because that's what happens when couples get serious," she frowned. "They meet each other's family. You met my parents last month."

"Oh," I said, realizing what was going on. I sighed. I had a good time with Wendy. It was too bad it had to end.

"I saw my parents just before Christmas," I said, sharing a fact that I neglected to tell Wendy previously.

"What? When?"

"They came out for a quick visit the weekend before," I replied.

"You told me you had to work that weekend!" Wendy cried, drawing attention to us from some of the other tables.

"I did," I replied. "But mom and dad popped in unexpectedly. I took them to dinner Saturday night and made them breakfast Sunday. They were back on a plane before dinner."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"You said you were going to go out with your girlfriends," I shrugged. "I didn't see the point in interfering with your plans."

"You didn't see the point?" she asked angrily.

"They were here and gone so quickly," I said. "They went to Las Vegas afterward and spend a few more days. Pop loves to gamble."

"And you had no idea they might stop by?"

"Oh," I said offhandedly. "Mom mentioned something about the possibility."

"Mom mentioned something about..." Wendy began repeating, but then stopped herself.

"It wasn't that big of a deal," I shrugged.

"You didn't want me to meet your parents," Wendy said. Her eyes started welling up and I grimaced to myself. I hated it when they cried.

"I want to go home," she said, standing and quickly walking toward the door.

I paid for the drinks we had and dropped her at her place. It was not a fun ride. She didn't even bother to talk to me. I knew we wouldn't be seeing each other again. An hour later I was back home with a tall glass of bourbon. I sat on my couch watching television without really paying attention.

"It's not like I ever lied to her," I said aloud, taking another drink of my bourbon. It wasn't quite the truth. I knew my parents were stopping by that weekend. I did do some work, but only a couple of hours in the morning.

"I never told her I loved her," I added, which was the truth, but it didn't make me feel any better.

Wendy deserved better. Oh, she was a bit neurotic and clingy, but despite that she was a decent person. I should never have dated her for so long. I knew we'd never end up together.

"What a fucked up life!" I snapped, finishing my drink and getting up to pour myself another.

I sat watching television until midnight. As soon as it passed to the next day I held up my glass and added, "Happy fucking birthday!"

I was thirty-five and drunk as hell. I guess there were worse ways of entering mid-life, but then again, maybe not. I didn't even bother shutting the television or going to bed. I passed out on the couch.

A pounding woke me up. At first I thought it was in my head, but then I realized it was the front door. I stumbled to my feet and groaned. I was seriously hung over. I don't know who I expected to see when I opened the door, but my cousin Tom and his wife Tina were not even on the list.

"Happy birthday!" Tina cried.

"You look like shit," Tom frowned.

"That's what age does to a person," I replied, rubbing my face.

"It's not age that's got you so bleary eyed," Tom said, walking past me and into my house. I watched him and shook my head.

"How would you know? We haven't seen each other in seven years. Not since you gave me that black eye."

"Don't be an ass," my cousin said. "Invite Tina in. She's too classy to force her way past you like me."

"I thought you promised to kill me the next time you saw me?" I asked with a frown.

"I did," Tom replied, looking pointedly at his wife who was still standing outside the door.

"Sorry," I said quickly to Tina. "Come on in."

"Thanks," she smiled and walked in.

"Do you have any coffee in this place?" Tom called as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Refrigerator," I called back. I wasn't much of a coffee drinker, but Wendy was. She insisted that I keep some on hand for when she slept over.

Tina and I spoke about our lives over the last seven years. Actually, she talked and I listened. As it turned out, Tom and her had a couple of daughters. It was an extremely surreal conversation. I couldn't believe that they were actually here after so many years.

"You look like shit," Tom said.

"You said that already," I sighed.

"It's still true," he shrugged.

"Tom, why are you here?" I asked. "It's not that I'm not happy to see you, but you have to admit, this is a bit unexpected."

"Go shave and take a shower," he replied. "We'll talk after breakfast."

"But..." I began. Tom cut me off.

"I'm not going to talk to you while you're like this!" he snapped, and then looked at me carefully before asking, "Are you hung over or still drunk?"

"Definitely hung over," I sighed, getting up and going to the bathroom. I used the facilities, shaved and then took a hot shower.

I stayed under the spray for quite a while trying to understand what was going on. There was a reason why I never went home. Seven years ago Tom's mother walked in on his sister and me. We were at Janet's house doing what cousin's weren't supposed to do, ever. I still remembered the day as if it were yesterday. I sorely wanted another drink. It was one of the few things that could blur the memory.

Seven years ago I dropped Tom and Tina back at their hotel after we slept over Janet's so they could get ready for the honeymoon. Instead of going back to my room, I returned to Janet's. She was waiting for me. We came to an understanding the night before and were in the middle of enjoying it when my aunt walked in.

What she found literally had her screaming. It's not every day a mother finds her daughter in bed with her nephew. There was no placating her and I quickly grabbed my clothes and left at Janet's insistence.

All of that was bad enough, but instead of staying quiet and hiding what happened, my aunt told my parents, Tom, her priest and probably anyone else willing to listen!

Janet and I had exactly one conversation a couple hours later. I called her from my hotel. It was short and painful, but we both agreed that we couldn't see each other anymore. We were cousins and cousins didn't sleep together.

That didn't stop Tom from finding me while I was waiting for the next flight back home. He caused quite a scene and gave me a black eye. I never saw him so angry! He called me some horrible things, not many of which I could deny and then told me to stay away from his sister. I agreed. That was seven years ago.

"Are you going to spend all day in there!" Tom cried as he banged on the bathroom door. I jumped.

"I'm coming out now!" I called back, rinsing the soap from my hair and eyes.

I did feel better after the shower and breakfast helped too. Tom wasn't a great cook, but the pancakes he made were eatable and my stomach desperately needed food.

"So, who is the cute redhead I see in all the pictures?" Tina asked as we ate.

"Wendy," I frowned.

"Girlfriend?" Tom asked.

"Ex," I replied.

"That's a lot of pictures for a girl who is your ex," Tom said.

"I didn't put them up. She did."

"You must care for her," Tina said. "After all, you didn't take them down."

"We just broke up last night," I sighed, wondering about the mini inquisition.

"And that would explain the hang over," Tom smiled.

"Not really," I shrugged. "I'm usually pretty hung over on Saturday mornings, Sunday too."

Tom frowned and glanced at Tina. They exchanged an odd look. I had no idea what it was about, and frankly, I didn't care. I was too hung over.

I continued to eat and Tom changed the subject. We talked about old times and old friends. Tina shared news of her siblings. Bette and Frank were going on their eighteenth year of marriage and George finally married his girlfriend Terri a couple of years ago. They had a kid on the way.

Tina's cousin Cheryl and our cousin Hank dated for a few months after the wedding, but eventually broke up. I was amazed it lasted as long as it did. Cheryl did eventually marry a guy. Tina obviously wasn't crazy about him, but she didn't go into details.

"You haven't asked about Janet," Tom said as I finished my meal and sat back.

"I didn't want another black eye," I replied, wiping my mouth with a napkin.

"She's not doing well," he said, ignoring my comment.

"What happened?" I asked in surprise and concern. "The last time I saw her she was laughing and playing with her daughter."

"Her daughter?" Tina frowned.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I was on vacation in Florida and she was standing in front of the castle playing with a beautiful little girl who was the spitting image of Janet."

"You saw her two years ago?" Tom asked, obviously putting something together in his head. "Did you talk to her?"

"No," I replied. "She obviously found someone who made her happy. I didn't want to interfere with that. Besides, I was there with a friend."

"Wendy?" Tina asked.

"No, Samantha," I replied, trying hard not to remember that break up. Everything went down hill in my life from that moment, not that things were great before.

"You know," Tom said to Tina. "It was right about then that Janet started having problems."

"With her husband?" I asked.

"Janet's been divorced from John for seven years," Tina replied.

"She didn't marry the father of her daughter?" I asked in confusion.

"Stop being so dense!" Tom snapped. "Janet doesn't have any kids. The little girl you saw her with was one of our daughters. Jenna is almost six while Susan is only four, but based on the timeframe and the fact that Jenna looks like my side of the family, I'm guessing it was her."

"Your daughter," I said numbly.

"Yes, we convinced Janet to come with us on vacation that year," Tina said. I shook my head.

"After that vacation Janet started a dating spree," Tom said, changing the subject. "I don't know what she was looking for but after six months and I don't know how many dates, she stopped dating altogether."

I felt a jolt of jealousy, but then shook my head. I didn't want to think about the number of women I dated over the last seven years. Wendy was the most recent and I wasn't even sure why that lasted as long as it did. Janet had the right to try and find happiness. I was sad to hear that she hadn't been any luckier than me.

"Is she okay?" I asked.

"We don't think so," Tina said.

"No," Tom added more confidently. "She's not."

"Janet's looks ten years older than she actually is and doesn't seem to put any effort into her appearance," Tina said. "She's sad most of the time."

"Mom is going crazy with worry," Tom added.

"She's not the only one," Tina frowned.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said softly.

"That's nice," Tom shrugged. "But what are you going to do about it?"

"Me?" I nearly laughed. "Tom, if you haven't realized, I've got problems of my own."

"The drinking?" he asked.

"Got it in one," I sighed, getting up and pouring myself a glass of bourbon.

"How bad is it?" he asked, watching me.

"Well, let's see," I said, gulping down half the glass. "I guess I'd call myself a functioning alcoholic, although I'm not sure my boss Terry agrees."

"Problems at work?"

"I'd have fired me six months ago, but Terry is a loyal S.O.B.," I answered, taking another gulp. "I helped build his company, but even with that he's going to run out of patience eventually."

"So then, why not stop drinking?" Tina asked.

"What's the point?" I asked, finishing the glass and reached for the bottle to pour myself another. Tom grabbed it out of my hand.

"Do you love my sister?" he asked, refusing to give me the bottle back. "Not like a cousin, but like a man loves a woman."

"What?" I cried.

"You heard me," Tom replied. "Answer the question."

"We're cousins!" I cried.

"Yeah, and?" Tom asked pointedly. "You're more than just cousins. Normal cousins don't do what my mother caught you and Janet doing."

"I know!" I snapped. "I can't explain it!" All three of us fell silent for a moment.

"You never answered Tom's question," Tina said gently.

"What does it matter?" I said. "Even if I did love her. We can't be together."

"Why not?" Tom asked.

"We're cousins!" I cried. "It's illegal for one thing and immoral for another!"

"I don't know about immoral," Tom shrugged. "But it's not really illegal."

"What?" I cried.

"I said, it's not illegal," he replied. "Not in all fifty states."

"You're kidding," I said, obviously in shock.

"No, I'm not," he replied. "Look it up on the web. I did."

I looked back and forth between the two of them and rubbed my face with both hands. I didn't understand what was going on, but obviously Tom and Tina had put a lot of thought into what they were saying.

"You looked it up on the internet?" I asked, stalling.

"Yep," Tom replied, understanding my need for time. He stood silently waiting.

"Seven years ago you threatened to kill me over your sister and now you're trying to set us up? Why?" I asked into silence that followed.