Truth or Dare

I've never had much self-discipline. Be it a pack of chocolate in the fridge I know I shouldn't eat, or a particularly good sale on an item I literally don't need, I've never quite been able to ignore the nagging of my own base urges.

It's the same tonight. I know I shouldn't see him. Shouldn't go to his room, shouldn't slip into his bed... but my mind refuses to think about anything else. It won't let me sleep.

As I lay there, debating against myself, I hear the door in the next room open. Gentle footsteps pad on a polished wood floor, muffled by socks. I know it's Dion, I could pick out his gait anywhere, but he seems to be moving more carefully than usual.

The footsteps reach my door, and my heart beats quicker and I rise onto my elbows and stare at the door with a big smile on my face, waiting for him to come in...

But then he continues past. And the bathroom door creaks open and shut behind him. I fall back into the pillow with a sigh.

It's ridiculous, really. He must like me, right? He wouldn't have taken so long spreading that after-shave cream stuff on me if he hadn't. Unless... unless he really was just being caring. Protective. Brotherly. Maybe he didn't like it at all, maybe he was doing all he could not to gag at the sight of his own sister's pussy.

Ugh. You may have graduated, Ashley, but you're still as naïve and dramatic as a highschooler.

Well, that's that. Obviously there's nothing between us, and all my fantasies of kissing him and snuggling with him and living with him forever will remain only halcyon dreams. I'll just have to go back to thinking of him as my brother and nothing else. Easy enough, right? Just got to have some self-discipline and--oh wait, I don't have any.

He's coming back!

After the muffled sound of flushing and hand-washing, I listen as he opens the door and walks toward my room. I prop myself up on my elbows again. This time, surely, he'll come in. He was probably just washing up and making himself presentable and now...

The footsteps reach my door and continue past. Without even the courtesy of pausing to ponder entry.

"Fuck you Dion," I growl and turn around to mash my face into my pillow. Okay,

this

time I know for sure. It was all just a mistake.

"What was that?"

My breath catches. I lift my head up and see a thin knife of light cutting into the room, Dion's face stuck through my partially-opened door. The orange glow from behind him makes the tips of his hair luminescent, giving him the air of an angelic apparition. I can't make out his expression, but from the tilt of his head I can tell he's appropriately confused by my profanity.

"What did I do?" He whispers again.

I try to conjure up a response that

doesn't

make me sound insane. "I was just... uh... you... you woke me up. That's all."

"Oh. Right. Sorry. I was trying to be quiet."

"Yeah, well..." I'm painfully aware that although I can't see his face, he can definitely see mine, and I'm definitely blushing. So I try my best to arrange my features into a scowl. "I thought you were about to try and sneak into my room or something."

"Why would I do that?"

I sniff. "I dunno. In case you wanted to get another look at me or something. 'Cause you already did, remember. When we were--"

"I remember. Obviously I'm not going to sneak in, Ash. That would be perverted and non-consensual."

I cross my arms over the thin sheet draped over my body. "Yeah, well, you wouldn't have been able to anyway, I was awake. So I would've seen you trying to be a perve."

"I thought I woke you up."

Shit. Smooth as ever, Ashley. Just need to think of a clever and witty comeback. Something that'll really put him in his place.

"Uh... I... you... shut up."

Nailed it.

My brother shakes his head. "Alrighty. Well, I'm going back to bed, so... I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing while you weren't being asleep."

"Good. You do that."

He starts closing the door. "You know you're kind of making it sound like you

wanted

me to come in."

"I wasn't."

The door shuts.

He walks away.

I'm left alone in my room, staring at the slowly swirling darkness above. That worked out just how I wanted it to. Me in my room, he in his, a solid wall separating our beds. Yep. Just how it should be...

"Ash?"

"I told you to shut up," I growl as I clamber into his bed and pull his sheet over us.

The nights here are strange.

Back on the farm everything is swathed in blue during the evening. Stars punch holes in the blackness of an infinite sky above, and the only sounds for miles are the mating calls of crickets and the whoosh of wind through trees.

Out here on the coast, next to the sprawl of the city, you can't even see the sky. It's just a haze of light interrupted by the occasional aircraft. There's traffic in the background, always, and the distant thrum of the sleepless. It's not truly dark, either. Orange-blue light peeks into the room through the gaps in the blinds, casting hard shadows across the bed.

I'm holding my hand up in space above us, watching the shuttered light play off it. Dion's watching too, and thought it's still hard to make out his expression, I can tell he's amused.

"Do you want me to close the blind better?" he asks. He's whispering

really

quietly now, since dad's sleeping in the room right next door. I have to strain to hear him properly, and even then parts of his breathy speech cut out. It adds an air of secrecy to the whole thing.

"It's fine," I tell him, equally as quietly. "I think I'll have trouble sleeping anyway. It's so loud out there."

"It'll be the same at the uni dorms next year." He brings his own hand up, moving his fingers right next to mine. We're not touching, but I swear I can feel the heat from his hand as our fingers dance. The vellus hairs on his arm glow in the light, contrasting with his darker skin tone.

"Is it okay that I'm here?" I ask.

There's a pause as he decodes what I whispered. Then, barely, "Yes. I like it."

He just means he likes the company.

"So... can we continue our game?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

I concentrate on my hand, trying not to seem disappointed. But then he adds;

"Give me a truth."

I bring up my other hand, letting the shadows from the blinds play between them. "Were you really just going to the bathroom?"

"Yeah. Sorry, I didn't think you'd want... uh... truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Were you hoping I'd come into your room?"

I hesitate, wondering whether I should lie. I decide against it. "Yes, I was. Truth or dare."

"Truth."

I give him a sidelong glance. He isn't looking at me. Coward. I decide to up the stakes. "Are you a virgin?"

That gets his attention. His dark eyes glitter in the warm rays of light as he looks at me for a long while. Finally; "Depends."

"What does that mean?"

He says something I can't hear. Possibly; "What defines losing virginity? The whole notion of it is stupid anyway. Sex is more than just a statistic." But I can't be sure because he's whispering so quietly. It could have just as easily been "Does just the tip count?"

"Look, have you ever put your dick somewhere inside a girl?"

"No, not inside a woman," is his cryptic answer. Before I can press him for more, he continues the game. I already know what his question is going to be, but I say truth anyway, and indeed he asks it: "How about you? Still got the V-card?"

I don't. Throughout the entirety of my high school years, I only had one relationship, in the final year of school. It was with one of my best friends, at the time anyway, and we pretty much only dated because everyone else was.

The petting was fine. I liked it when he touched me, and didn't mind doing a bit in return from him. But the sex... it wasn't great. We only tried once, on an empty oval at night-time after a pleasant enough date. It hurt, it wasn't fun, he certainly didn't seem to enjoy it all that much, and it pretty much proved to us that there was nothing but natural horniness between us. No love, no real intimacy. We never talked about it, but the next time someone asked if we were still dating, we both said no at the same time.

I summarise as much for Dion. He immediately knows who I'm talking about. He says something but I can't hear him, so I turn my body and lean into him so he can whisper in my ear.

"I said I always wondered if there was something between you. Why didn't you tell me you were dating? Even if it didn't last long."

Why

didn't

you tell him? You tell him everything. What, did you think he'd be overprotective? Or... jealous?

"Ash?"

I shiver. His breath is warm, and wet, and it almost distracts me from the question.

"I don't know. I guess I wanted to wait and see if it was serious. And it wasn't, so... whatever. Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"When you say 'never a woman...'"

"Blake and I fooled around a couple times on camp. And a few times after that. Does that make you uncomfortable?" He grins at me widely, and his teeth practically shine in the dim light.

"No, of course not," I quickly say. Actually, the thought of my handsome brother getting it on with his muscular and dark-haired friend is a rather enticing picture. "I'm just... surprised you didn't tell me. So, what, are you... bi? Or... gay?" I'm ashamed to admit I feel my stomach clench a bit at the last question, not because such a thing is undesirable, of course not, but because it would mean we... would mean we'd never...

Stop it, Ashley. Don't let your mind go there.

"I reckon I'm about 80% straight," Dion tells me. That would corroborate with his search history on our shared laptop. "But don't hold me to that," he continues, "You never know who might come along and--did you just let out a sigh of relief?"

"No," I hastily respond. "Of course not. Now give me another truth."

Dion shifts in the bed, making the mattress creak quietly. "How's your, uh... you know."

"My...?"

"Your... area. With the... that I helped you with. You know what I'm talking about."

My skin tingles, a ghost of a memory. His fingertips, coated in soothing balm, brushing against the shaven front of my pubis. And then lower, around the outside of my sex, and then finally...

"Ashley? Your minds wandering again."

"Huh? Oh, uh... yeah. It feels fine." I pause, then add, "Actually, it was getting a little sensitive again, so... I figured I'd give it some space. You know, I've never worn pyjama pants without underwear before, it's nice. You should try it."

I can practically hear Dion frown. "I dunno about that..."

Stupid, stupid, why did you say that Ashley?

"Not right now obviously. I just... I mean it doesn't make any difference to me. Um... truth or dare."

There's a pause. I wonder for a moment if I've made it too weird and he's going to terminate the game. But then; "Dare."

Great. What are you going to do now?

I mull over my choices. There's no way his asking dare had anything to do with saying he should go commando, right? No, of course not. But then, what kind of dare can I even ask him? It'd have to be something quiet, and with his warmth beside me, I'd rather he not leave the bed.

"Er... I dare you to take off your socks."

"My socks?"

"Yep."

"Okay...?"

"Wait," I quickly whisper, feeling slightly ashamed of the dare for some reason. I can't tell if he wanted something more or less, but then an idea occurs to me. One that is entirely self-serving and possibly lecherous, but I decide to go with it anyway. "Socks off, but you have to... take them off without using your hands."

"Right. Easy enough. I'll just--woah, what are you doing?"

I've turned into him and reached an arm over his body, and am now groping around trying to find his hand. "I want to make sure you're not cheating."

"...Oh. I guess that makes sense."

Don't kid yourself, you're really just doing this so you have an excuse to hold his hand.

I find his forearm and bend it up, settling both his hands on his chest. I push my fingers between his, gently holding his hands. They're quite a bit larger than mine, and while his greater size was something of a sore point during puberty, I find comfort in it now. I squeeze my fingers gently, trying to enjoy his warmth for as long as I can before he does his dare and I have to let go. "Alright. Um... give it a shot."

He doesn't move. For a brief, wonderful moment, I think it's because he likes this as much as I do. That he just wants to stay here like this. But then he says, "I've already done it," and a bare toe pokes my foot. I jerk back in surprise, my hands slipping from his, and I can make out a glint of amusement in his eyes as he regards me through the dark.

He pokes my foot again, and I'm ticklish enough that I can't help giggling. "Hey, stop. I don't want your gross feet on me. I can't believe you're even wearing socks in bed in this heat."

"Just habit, I guess. And hey, my feet are lovely." He swivels in the bed, and before I can realise what he's doing he grabs the sheet and throws it off, pushing his legs up and waving his feet in my face. I let out a surprised squeal as I bat them away--then clamp my hand over my mouth.

We both freeze. The echo of my outburst fades quickly, but we both strain our ears to listen for any movement from our dad's bedroom. If he was awake, we're screwed. If he wakes up now, we're probably screwed as well.

For a minute, there's nothing. I can hear Dion's breath, see the vague dark shape of his chest rising and falling.

Another minute passes. Still nothing. I slowly become aware of our current position. His legs are across my chest, a foot near my ear. The pressure on my breasts is slightly uncomfortable, but it's also... nice, in a weird way.

After a third minute of nothing I figure we're probably in the clear. I shift my position slightly, sliding his leg off my bosom, and Dion makes a sound. It's only then that I realise my own foot is nestled rather firmly in his crotch.

Holy shit. Your foot is right on his dick. And... wait a second, is he...?

"Fuck, sorry," I whisper. Hiss, almost. I retract my foot and he turns half-over, pulling the sheet back over himself.

"Er... don't worry, I was just... worried you'd kick me. Um... Sorry for feeting your face."

"It's fine," I say, and settle myself back into the bed. But the moment's gone now. He's not looking at me, and while I'm not sure he knows I felt his erection, I can tell he's uncomfortable. I want so much to just reach over and cup his cheek. To turn his head toward me and kiss him. Tell him it's okay, that I want to explore his body... but I just can't bring myself to do it.

"Maybe we should get some sleep." He says. It's not an invitation.

I try and suppress my sigh. "Yeah. Okay." I turn over and rise up onto my knees. We've managed to swap places somehow, him on the door side, so I have to climb ungracefully over him. In the middle of it, while I'm straddling him, he turns onto his back and looks up at me. There's space between my groin and his... his dick, but not much. All I'd have to do is lower myself down slightly...

"It was nice, though," he whispers, as if afraid he'd insulted me. "Maybe we can try it again sometime. Later."

I tilt my head. My hair, unbound by lackeys, partially covers my eyes as it drops over my shoulders. "What, the game, or laying together?"

He's quiet for a moment. Then; "Both. Uh... Preferably at the same time."

Oh my god. Yes. He likes this. He wants to do it again.

I swallow, a little bit worried my voice is going to crack. "Cool. Me too, I... I guess. Uh... see you in the morning."

And then I dip my hips down. The pretence is that I'm just getting off him, but in reality I'm just that desperate to feel him. He's wearing two layers, but I've only got my thin cotton pyjama pants with nothing beneath, and when my crotch meets his, I can literally feel, in slow motion, my pussy spread as it slides over him. A shudder of pleasure buzzes through my sex as my lips part over a cloth-covered erection that's thick, warm, hard... and belongs entirely to my biological brother.

And then I've finished the manoeuvre and I'm standing up next to the bed, facing away from him. I shiver, and have to grit my teeth to stop myself gasping. I'm soaked. I wonder if he felt it.

Jesus christ. You're insatiable. There's no way he doesn't think you did that on purpose.

"Night," my brother says, as cool and calm as ever.

I can't respond. If I open my mouth now, it won't be a farewell that comes out. I've never had much willpower after all, and it takes everything I have to leave the room.

It's going to be a sleepless night after all.