To sleep—perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub!
Nota bene:
This story is my entry to the
Winter Holidays Story Contest 2022
. My editor, Ken, slaved over this story, and in as much as it is a good story, it is largely due to him! A big thank you, Ken!
**
It was cold. The colder it got outside the warmer my mother liked the inside to be. A person in a normal house could adjust the heat in her own bedroom by opening the window. The cold, oxygen rich fresh air would rush in and equilibrate the room. Too bad our house was old and the window sash was rotten and painted shut. My brother's and my parents' rooms had new windows, but my father had not gotten around to my room.
My college tuition (Smith College, in Massachusetts) was costing him so much money I was too guilt ridden to make a scene over my old, rotten windows. This made my room hot and stuffy in the winter, if not all year round.
Indeed, inside my bedroom I was sweltering, and this during the bleakest days of December. December can get quite cold in Indiana, and this year was a case in point.
I was asleep. It was so hot in my room that it had taken over a half hour to fall asleep, but I had accomplished it. Usually you don't know you're asleep while you are asleep. It's only when you wake up that you realize you've been asleep. For me, it's when I roll over a bit and look at the bedside clock. I realize the last time I saw it was three hours earlier, and I had felt only 15 minutes had passed.
Since it was hot I had kicked off the covers. I was wearing panties and nothing else. I had been sleeping on my back, strangely enough, since usually I sleep on my side. I rolled onto my side and opened my eyes for a second to look at the clock. I saw then what had waked me.
My brother David and his best friend Tom were staring at me. They were perfectly still. My first thought was that the guys were going to truly wake me up and my sleep would be lost. I closed my eyes, deciding I was still dreaming, and I was blissfully able to regain my sleep.
I get up early. I've always loved to be up at dawn. I find it to be the prettiest time of the day. I'm all alone, as others sleep, and the air has a special quality to it. I made a pot of drip coffee and a bowl of instant oatmeal. After I loaded up the oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar I unbuttoned all the buttons at the top of my nightshirt and went "outside" to the glassed-in porch. I slowly consumed my breakfast, enjoying fresh, cold air circulating around my body and in my lungs. I was rapidly getting cold, as were my coffee and oatmeal.
I was not the first one up of course. The birds were up too at dawn, as were the deer, the mice, and the goddam bugs. I hate bugs. Even in winter we had bugs. That's not supposed to happen. Climate change, I suppose. Bugs are taking over the world. A little later and to my surprise, my brother joined me, having pilfered a cup of coffee from the pot I made. I was surprised because usually he sleeps until at least 10 AM.
"Good morning, little sister," he said, in his broken, pre-coffee, morning voice.
"Good morning, big brother," I replied, raising my eyebrows at his appearance at dawn, around 5:30 AM on a cold day during Christmas vacation. "Couldn't sleep from the heat?"
I'm a full year older than my brother, but since he's the size of an NFL fullback, and I'm the size of Tinkerbell, he calls me little and I call him big.
I stopped short. Tom was there, too. Tom was built like an NFL halfback, and he had a bit of a reputation among the girls of my highschool, if you know what I mean. Why was he there so early? He must have been too drunk to drive home and spent the night in the guest room, I figured.
Tom's presence disturbed me, and I didn't know why. Well, there was the fact that Tom was in my dream and also now he was staring at my nipples, which were poking at my nightshirt due to the cold. I realized that David was staring at them too. I suddenly felt self-conscious. Tom's gaze had gone to my legs and of course my nightshirt had climbed up my legs, almost to my crotch. Shit.
I noticed Tom had an erection. Oh my goodness, so too did my brother! Early morning wood: It had to be. I knew from experience two things that can take care of morning wood in a man: sex, and urination. Sex of course was out, since no girls -- other than myself, or girls residing in their imaginations -- were present, so I fully expected both of them to go and use the bathrooms. Neither one did.
We sat there, making small talk, sipping our coffees, gradually turning into icicles, while Tom and David checked out my body six ways from Sunday. It was funny, actually. I even leaned forward occasionally so they could check out my braless boobs. My nipples were hard due to the cold. The boys jumped at the chance to check out my boobs, but I was careful and they couldn't see my nipples. Tom was quite lustful in his gaze, but what surprised me was my brother David was too. If anything, he was even worse.
David and Tom were both sophomores at Purdue. I was a junior at Smith College in Massachusetts. It occurred to me that both guys probably knew all about the other sex. Maybe even in some detail.
"It's funny, you know," I began, once Tom had finally left to go to the bathroom.
"What's funny?" David asked.
"I dreamt last night that I saw you and Tom." David looked nervous. He wanted details, but I didn't give any. I changed the subject to the weather, annoyed at myself for even mentioning my dream.
**
"Tell me about the dreams you've been having," invited Dr. Smithfield, my therapist.
"It's kind of a recurring dream. Each time there's a little twist to it, though."
"Is your dream disturbing?"
"Well, that's the thing. I think it should be disturbing, but it's not. In fact, it's arousing," I confessed. "I'm disturbed that I don't find my disturbing dreams to be disturbing. Got that?"
"Yes. Tell me about your most recent one."
"My crazy mother likes our home to be hot in the winter and freezing in the summer. My bedroom is the worst, and due to the oppressive heat in my room I sleep naked, except I wear panties. Since my brother is a bit randy at times, I always close and lock my bedroom door. I kick off the covers in my sleep because it's so hot. I dreamt that I woke up and saw my brother David and his friend Tom in the room staring at my nearly naked body and especially at my boobs. I realize I'm dreaming and I roll over and go back to sleep. In the morning, I checked my bedroom door. It was still locked."
"And the dream recurs?"
"Yes. Each time it's my brother, but always with a friend. All they do is stand still and stare at me. Do you think these dreams mean anything?"
"Before we get to that, let's go a little deeper. For example, do you feel threatened?"
"What do you mean, threatened?"
"Well, in your dream you're almost naked, and two men, one of whom is your brother, are uninvited guests in your room staring at your body, right?"
"Right."
"You're not afraid they might try to molest you, for example?"
"That never occurred to me. I've never had dreams of being raped."
"Maybe it wouldn't be rape?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, some women have fantasies about sex with family members. It's perfectly natural; in fact, it's common. Is your brother attractive? Is he appealing to you?"
"Oh! I see. Yes, my brother is quite the handsome man. But you can't possibly think I want to ... want to ... No, no, no -- that's not possible! And that would not explain why his friends are there, too, now would it?"
"Now we are getting into some complicated emotional situations. Maybe you fantasize having sex with your brother while someone is watching, for example?"
"Doctor, this is getting ridiculous. Why don't you suggest I want to have sex with both of them at once?"
"Have you ever sex with two men at once?"
"No, of course not. Certainly not. Absolutely not!!"
"I take it by the vehemence of your reply that you do not want to."
