I picked up my boxes after a long wait. The flights to Chennai from Dubai are always crowded with returnees bringing goods for distribution to friends and relatives in over sized boxes packed to bursting point. I wheeled the trolley out looking for my brother in the crowd that was lining five deep all along the 100 metres fenced off path. He waved. It was a very special home coming for me.
I had been away for three years during which period my brother got married and had a baby. I was excited to see the baby, the first in our family after me, twenty two years before, and Anni too about whom I have been receiving glowing reports even from my hard-to-please mother. (Incidentally her name is not Anni. In Indian culture it is disrespectful to call elders by name. Elder brother's wife is Anni. Anni will call her husband Athan, which means uncle's son even though in this case she was not related to us before marriage.)
Father and mother were at the gate to receive me but not Anni. She was standing at the door. She smiled as she greeted me with folded hands. She was pretty. She led me to the cradle and removed the thin sheet that covered the little fellow. He was sleeping with head turned to one side. He was lovely.
"Carry him," said Anni.
"He may wake up," I said.
"What if; I can put him back to sleep." I hesitated for I have never carried a baby.
Anni held him up and I placed my hands over her hands. My hands were only partly over hers so that I could feel the baby's back. Of the two Anni's hands were the softer.
I was on two months leave. I settled down quickly. My brother was in handloom textile business. He was often out on tours to weaver's colonies in all parts of the country. My father, a retiree from government service, and my mother spent their spare hours attended religious discourses, and whenever possible both went on short pilgrimages to temples all over southern India. Thus I was often alone with Anni. I made myself useful. I soon became very friendly with little Bommu and was able to take care of the baby whenever Anni had other work to do.
One day mother and father were away, and brother was on tour. Anni was suckling Bommu. She always covered herself with her pallav of her sari while she suckled but today her pallav was awry. There was no way I could prevent my eyes from darting to her bare breast. Anni could not but have noted this.
"Mother says that Bommu suckles the way you used to do," she said. "He munches. Athan did not it seems." She then exposed the breast totally to show me how the baby fed. "Come closer to have a better look." I was trembling with excitement. I was ashamed that I should be having an erection that was at bursting point. I moved from the chair I was on to her sofa.
"Come to this side," she said. I squeezed in the space on the other side. Our arms and our thighs were touching. She now exposed her other breast. The nipple was large and tense and pointing like an index finger. She turned the baby over.
"Watch," she said and she brought the baby's lips closer and closer to the nipple. No sooner did Bommu's lips come in contact with the nipple he took it in as well as whatever he could get of the breast and munched heartily, his jaws moving the same way a toothless old man's does. I laughed. Soon both his tiny hands were holding the breast. From time to time he jerked up to get better purchase of the nipple, and then settled down to more sold feeding.
"Lovely is it not?" she said. I had to agree not once but twice. My Anni sitting with breasts exposed was indeed a lovely sight.
"Hold his head for a moment," she said. I did so. I thought she was going to cover herself properly. She was not thinking of covering herself. She tied up her loose hair in a chignon and then did something astonishing. She removed her pallav altogether and undid the remaining top hook of her blouse and opened out her blouse for good measure. And there was my pretty Anni exposed above her waist with her breasts in grand display. Lactating breasts have a beauty all their own.
"This way I am more comfortable," she said. I sat holding the baby's head and drinking in the sight of her breasts now suddenly without any inhibition whatever. My only fear was that I might ejaculate.
There was a tap at the door. I turned towards Anni. She took baby's head from me and covered herself. It was postman delivering a parcel. When I came back Anni had returned to her room. I went straight to the bathroom and masturbated.
When I saw Anni later that evening she gave no indication that anything unusual had happened. I was unable to explain her action. It was not as if she was an immodest person. She was as careful to cover herself as any Indian woman. When next day I saw her suckling she was fully covered.
Nothing happened the next two days but on the third I was coming out of the narrow aisle of the bath room when Anni crossed on her way to the store room. She held me in a gentle embrace and kissed me on the lips. She pressed her breasts on my chest and her thighs against my thighs. She swiftly moved on without a backward glance. Luckily it all happened in seconds. If she had done it more leisurely she would have felt my erect penis pressing against her vulva. Shivers ran down my spine. It took me a moment or two to recovery my composure. One part of me was excited, but another part trembled with apprehension. 'Was my Anni in love with me'? If my kissing her gets to be known it could break up my family. I thought long and hard. But it was Anni who was prompting me. It was she who was tasking the initiative at every point. What could I do? To say no to her would be even more unworthy of me. It was quite unthinkable.
Three days later my parents were off to Samayapurum for the annual festival. They left in the afternoon to return the next evening. My brother was off to Kanchipurum and was expected late in the evening. After lunch I was in my room reading a magazine when I heard Anni call me. I went to her. She was in her room. The baby was sleeping in his cradle.
"Is he full?" I asked.
"Greedy fellow. He drank till his stomach was at bursting point. See," she laughed and exposed his abdomen. It was bulging like a balloon. "But I have so much milk that my breasts are still heavy."
"The next feed should empty it."
"It will not. I will have to remove it."
"By pumping?"