There is a belief in India, even now, among burglars that the possession a cloth stained by virginal blood would help them opening any impossible lock.
*
Beyond the vastness of the harvested fields, on the eastern horizon, appeared stealthily a tint of red arc, but soon expounded itself into a huge orb of bright orange. Birds started testing the melodies of their own voices. The color of the rising sun and the sweetness in the air borne voices implied a fortunate omen.
A jeep approached through the country road, raising dusts.
I was steering my flock through the same country road, on the opposite direction, for grazing. A shepherdess I was. The jeep slowed down and halted, with its engine idling. Only a tight space was left between the jeep and the edge of the road. So narrow was the road. Through that tight space all my sheep passed on to the other side, but I slipped. And there started down a deep slope from where I slipped. A strong arm scooped me up. I was stunned not by the shock of my near slip but by the handsomeness of a young man, face to face. The driver of the jeep.
He was in a sleeveless shirt. My thin torso was in the crease of his muscled arm. With his arm around, my heart started throbbing like his idling engine. I blushed. He lowered me to the ground and said, "Paappaa, paarththup poa (little girl, go carefully)"
His tone was obviously kind, but I got annoyed. I was not a little girl. I had attained my puberty. I was 18 years old and even voted in that year's general election. It was all the fault of my parents. They didn't celebrate my puberty function. The girl, when her first menstrual blood appeared, would be kept aside for a month in a fresh palm-leave hut, made by her maaman (mother's brother), and fed with sweetmeat and nourishing food to develop her boobs like tender coconuts, buttocks like watermelons, thighs like banana trunks and vulva like a buttered bun. And at the end of the month, the whole village and all other relatives and friends of other places would be invited for her 'pooppunitha neeraattu vizha (flower's sacred bathing festival)'. Thus it would be made known to the whole world that the girl is ready to have a mate.
My parents didn't perform all those nice things on me, because they were poor. And I remained literally a little girl to the outer world. And now this stupid driver also ignored me on that line. He moved away his jeep without even caring to know my feelings. Bitter tears, out of frustration, rolled down my cheeks.
One must get attention, after all. Without due recognition, one would be worth nothing but a dead person. I longed to get some attention.
* * *
Grazing my flock through the harvested fields, I reached the riverbank by noon. My sheep eagerly ran down toward the stream and quenched their thirst. There was a grand banyan tree on the bank of the river. It was its fruiting season. Lot of birds flocked the tree in incessant chattering. I gathered my sheep under the cool shade of that tree.
Leaving them there I went back to the stream. I stripped myself naked. It was not my wont to take bath naked in public places, but on that day I didn't care. I wanted to show whatever I had to whoever happened to come that way. But the sure thing was that nobody would come that way, by that time, but for my mother carrying my midday gruel.
I surveyed my nakedness. Small breasts, each in two steps: the base was of the size of a halved komettik kaai (a bitter fruit) and another step of the size of a small halved lemon, topped with a pepper size nipple. My cunt was a narrow triangle, barely covered with a soft moss of pale hairs and the cleft started well up on the little mound, presenting the shiny lips exposed.
I dived into the water and swam awhile enjoying my arrogance in presenting my nakedness to the open world.
Getting out, I dried and dressed myself with the same dress in an unhurried manner. Soon as I completed my clothing, suddenly from nowhere, my father appeared with my midday gruel can. I was surprised.
Ancestors of my father were well to do, I was told. Only my father made our life miserable because of his laziness. He was a thief indeed. Half of his life spent in lock-ups and prisons. When he was out, he would dress in spotless white and white and spend in excess. My father and me, we don't talk much.
"Your mom's not fit, so I brought you the gruel." He explained. I took the container and emptied it in silence. Meantime my father spread his whitish towel on the ground, lay down and started sleeping. That was typically my father: no work; no worries. I washed the container and then settled on the shade, turning my back to my father. By then I observed a disturbance in the flock. A ram started chasing a ewe, babbling.
I had seen those things earlier, but on that particular day it was too much for me to cope with. I turned behind and observed my father. With a forearm over his eyes, he was fast asleep. His chest's raising and falling was slow. I pulled my skirt up and put my hand in between my thighs. I pressed my middle finger into the folds of my cunt. Immediately it was bathed by my cunt juices. I tried to insert the finger into my slot, but it was not going. There was an obstruction. Where from the juices comes out then? I tried with my little finger. Ah, it could find the way!
I perspired and sighed while my little finger was moving fervently in and out of my lava hole. Then there...oh...I shivered. Something was moving up my legs. I had completely forgotten the presence of my father. It was his hand. I stilled in shock.
My father was fumbling up my thighs. I couldn't decide what to do. Before I decided, his thick fingers were at the lips of my cunt. My thighs opened up a little to give him access. I was shell shocked to realize my reflex. Immediately I closed my thighs. His fingers got entrapped in between. He didn't give up. He teased the wet lips of my cunt with his fingertips. I couldn't bear with the sensation. Eventually I gave up my resistance. He tumbled me backward, over him, and ran another hand over my breasts. My breasts were soft a while ago, but now under the touch of his hands they became taut.
My father got up and lifted me up on his arms and carried me into the sheep. He made some space among the sheep and laid me there on his white towel. The surrounding sheep got up on their fours and made a cover. My father unhooked my blouse and exposed my breasts. He cupped them in his big hands and started kneading. My body heated up and I arched myself into his hands. While kneading one he sucked the other. He took an entire breast into his mouth. I drifted up. I was no more a little girl. I felt like a big woman.