WET T-SHIRT
My name is Michael. This is a story about me and my cousins Katy and Ben, and their Aunt Kelly, who is my mother. Me and my cousins are all college age, with me being the oldest at 21, and Ben and Katy being 20 and 18. Mom is 46. Me and Ben are both in college and Katy just finished high school. We were all at a gathering at someone's house, on an early Saturday summer evening.
The three of us were fairly bored after a day of watching people hang out and talk, so we went to the guest house next door to watch TV. We were looking around in the cabinets and came across some, well, essentially porn. "Ok now we're talking" Ben said.
"Ewww" replied Katy. "Let's not."
Now Ben. "Hey check this one out. Wet t-shirt contests. That's not porn. What do you think Katy? Michael?"
It was fine by me. Katy: "Whatever" she said, rolling her eyes and playing on her phone.
So Me and Ben watched (and armchair judged) some pretty great wet t-shirt contests. What's not to love?
Ben: "Hey Katy" he said to his sister, still preoccupied with her phone. "You know who would kill at this? Aunt Kelly".
Yes, that Aunt Kelly. The one in the house next door keeping an eye on the wine.
Katy looked up at the screen. "Lol, yeah she would. She's got a great body."
Ben: "Well let's get her over here.... She'd enjoy the show and the compliment."
Me: "Guys. You just want to casually tell your aunt that she'd do really well in a wet t-shirt competition? Think about what you're saying. First of all, she's not exactly the type to enjoy that sort of thing."
Ben: "What, compliments? Everyone enjoys compliments. Get her over here and she can watch with us."
Me: "This is dumb" I said, as I texted my mom to come meet us in the guest house. "Alright here she comes. Don't say anything too stupid, OK?"
Ben: "Like what?"
Me: "Like, hurr durr look at the wet tits Aunt Kelly, isn't that great?".
In walked mom. "Hey what's up guys? Why did you.... um good lord what are y'all watching?".
Ben: "It's a wet t-shirt contest Aunt Kelly!"
Kelly: "Well yes I can see that. Great. So what did you want?"
Ben: "Well, I was just thinking.... and Katy agreed with me.... that you would be... well, you would.... um"
Kelly: "Yes?"
Ben: "You would be great at this," he finally managed to get out.
Kelly: "Oh? Um, thanks? I'll put that on my resume."
Ben: "No really! Hell you'd win this contest."
Kelly: "(rolling her eyes) Gee thanks. Y'all have fun" she said, turning to leave.
Ben: "No, wait Aunt Kelly. I have an idea. I could prove it to you."