maOK, readers. I've taken your comments into account that this story isn't over. It's a slow build. Intense at times
Thank you Billyboy1953.
Revised the last sentence from Chapter 3
We were prepared to take our deep and heartfelt feelings for each other to our graves if we had to, in order to preserve the love and peace in our loving families... Fate had other plans.
I tried to put the weekend I spent at home for Ellen's wedding behind me, but not totally. There were moments that weekend and moments leading up to that weekend that would remain with me forever.
The first was when I first met her future fiancé - husband. It was the first Christmas after Ellen's final visit to my apartment when she brought him to my parents for Christmas Day Dinner. I knew she had been seeing someone after her final visit. Through her letters, I also knew that it was getting serious. But, Christmas Day dinner? Wasn't that a 'Family' get-together? I found out later, that his parents had passed away a number of years ago within months of each other due to some form of cancer and his only sister lived in California and they weren't close. So, I guess it made sense. Still... I wanted my favorite cousin to myself for the day.
Anyway, his name was Robert, not Rob. And Robert made a point of making sure that you knew it.
He seemed to be a few years older than Ellen and worked as an accountant in the neighboring town, which wasn't much bigger than our little town of Athens. Ellen had told me that she met him through one of her girlfriends just before her last visit to my apartment.
He appeared to be a decent guy. I was pretty sure that he had his 'happy face' for that first impression. But something about him. I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe a bit of arrogance?? Sometimes he would just sit back and look at the gathering of the two families doing what we did when we all got together... have fun. To me, it seemed like a 'judgmental' gaze.
It was subtle, but it seemed like the 'mask' would come down every once in a while.
We obviously didn't exactly hit it off, that day probably for a few reasons.
Maybe it was when Ellen had first entered my parent's kitchen for that Christmas Day dinner, and she literally leaped into my arms. I embraced her in a warm hug, picked her up by her butt, and swung her in a circle. All the while in a lip lock and her firm breasts against my chest. Ellen grinned and whispered in my ear, "Behave".
I whispered back, "I always behave... until you tell me not to."
She just shook her head, and whispered back, "You're so bad."
Throughout the whole exchange, I hadn't even noticed Robert standing in the entryway with a not-so-pleasant expression. The rest of the family just smiled at the usual closeness of our exchange after being apart since her visit.
Or maybe it was when I gave her the Christmas present that I had picked out for her; a heart-shaped locket, where the inside was engraved with, "To my special cousin... From
your
special cousin". This time the hub lingered as her tear-filled eyes met mine, then her soft lips, followed by a whispered, "Thank you... my love."
But I think what really put me on his 'shit list' was when Ellen and I went for our final walk together in the snow-covered pine trees when everybody was watching football. It was during our walk that Ellen explained that because of her relationship with Robert that it would be difficult to explain, and justify, her visiting me again over the summer.
Holding my cousin in a warm embrace in the quiet of the trees, I told her saddened face that I knew that this day would come and that I was truly happy for her. We gave each other a long and heartfelt 'goodbye' kiss before returning to the family gathering.
As we returned, our families each gave us gentle smiles. Knowing and understanding that we needed our alone time together.
We were both met with Robert's glare. Ellen was not intimidated. Then, as if to drive home the point, she just kissed my cheek, turned, and walked out of the room.
.............................................
Time went on. We continued to write to each other. Sharing our lives, just as we always had... Open and honest. Ellen would write about things in her life. Family get-togethers. Her third-grade class and school events. I told her about taking the Triumph along the Pacific Coast Highway to San Diego on one Saturday, and yes any dates I had... even with a few details even though those get-togethers were far and few.
She was still living in her own apartment however, Robert was pressing her to move in with him. Saying that it would save her rent and food costs. Ellen's answer each time he brought it up was, "No ring... No moving in together, if then."
Ellen said it brought about some pretty heated discussions at times. Some to the point that each stormed out of whatever apartment they were in at the time. At times coming close to a breakup.
But, she stood her ground and her family backed her 100%. If Robert was going to continue to play that card, he would lose, and lose her. On a couple of occasions, Ellen's mom sat down with her and asked if she really wanted that kind of life... controlling and dominating. A couple is supposed to be supportive, respectful of the other's wishes, and willing to compromise on issues.
Ellen, of course, wrote to me about everything that was going on. I asked if she thought that she was 'settling' for what her life was giving her, instead of realizing that she deserved better... that she wasn't 'stuck'.
One night as I sat at my table writing my weekly letter to my favorite cousin, who I loved with all of my heart, a spontaneous thought just popped into my head. I've heard that when those kinds of things happen, it's your 'Guardian Angel' talking to you. I had no idea who that might be, but the thought lingered.
We needed to talk.
It was something that we had never done. Don't know why, maybe up until now our weekly letters were enough to keep us connected. But I could tell that she was going through a difficult time. Letters weren't cutting it. She needed to hear my voice. I need to hear her voice.
I suggested that a week from the coming Sunday I would call her after the phone rates went down. Ellen readily agreed.
6:01 Sunday, my time.
"Bill!!!"
"Ellen."
We spent the first ten minutes on just casual stuff because we each missed hearing each other's voice.
"My god your voice sounds so good. This was a good idea. I really need to talk to someone who understands me and will help me sort through stuff. Who will not just tell me what they think I want to hear. You are my protector... my love."
Ellen's voice cracked. My eyes welled up. There was silence for a few moments.
"Sorry," she softly said.
"Don't be. I wish I was there to hold you... to love you... to show you how special you are."
"Me too. I so miss feeling your arms around me. Our bare bodies against each other while we make love... after we make love. In the mornings when I would wake up next to you and watch and listen to you sleep. Tell me that we will do that again... somehow. Please. Promise me."
"Ellen, my very dear cousin. The cousin who I love from the bottom of my heart. I can't make that promise. I know we made that promise to each other at the end of your first visit. But, you're going in a direction where that can't happen."
"But, I love YOU!.... Not him," she cried into the phone.
Even being over 2,000 miles away, my heart broke. Tears ran down my cheeks.
We each composed ourselves.
