Life hasn't been too good, lately. I got "divorced" about six months ago. Actually, we weren't married, but we had lived together for a few years and it felt like we had been married. Since the breakup, I've done some of that online dating and had a number of first dates but I haven't meet anybody that really got me excited. There were a few nice women in the group but none of them really commanded my attention.
To understand the predicament I'm in, you need to know some of the history. I've been married two times. The first time I was only 23 years old. Of course, back then, I knew more than anybody else in the whole world. I knew exactly what I wanted - or so I thought - and I thought I had her: pretty blonde girl with ample cleavage, pleasant to be with, and not particularly a dizzy blonde. The first two years, everything was great and the sex was fantastic. Unfortunately, she got bored with me and moved on without actually moving on. When I discovered that I had been replaced, I divorced the bitch (thereby confirming the truth to that expression: "for every good looking girl walking down the street, there's a guy somewhere who got tired of fucking her.")
The second marriage was a rebound marriage. The first divorce wasn't my fault, "of course," and I wanted to prove that I was not the problem. I was perfectly capable of having a satisfying and lasting relationship with a woman; just give me a woman and I would prove it. Unfortunately, I did what so many people do and I went and found a woman just like the last one: pretty blonde girl with ample cleavage, pleasant to be with, and not particularly a dizzy blonde. Again, the sex was good for a few years but then she started talking about having kids and I really didn't think I was ready for that. When I said "no way," she said "no more," and she filed for divorce. It was probably a mistake on my part but you can't un-ring a bell.
I realized that I never really missed my first wife but I missed the second one in a bad way. After some very serious thought on the subject, intermingled amongst frequent encounters with thought-inhibiting Cuba Libres, I realized that what I really missed was the sex with number two. She wasn't "freaky" but she was uninhibited; she was very, very uninhibited. She swallowed. She sometimes massaged my prostate while she made me cum with her mouth. She gave me rim jobs. We did 69 all the time. She loved to have me eat her pussy while I fucked her ass with a vibrator. She loved to have me fuck her ass while she fucked her pussy with a vibrator. She loved for me to lick whipped cream out of her ass crack. I couldn't think of any way that two people could have sex that we had not tried. And . . . she wanted sex all the time, not just once or twice a week. If I had stayed with her much longer, she probably would have fucked me to death . . . and most happily would I have gone to my grave.
Anyway, after two failed marriages, I decided that maybe I should hold off on any more thoughts about matrimony. You know, you shouldn't get married just to have sex. I've had lots of sex as a single guy and, besides, some people just aren't suited for marriage. Who know, maybe I was one of them. And, if I didn't want to have kids, what was the point in getting married, anyway?
I decided to start dating and I gave it everything I had. I met so many women I can't remember all of them and I had a number of flings that were filled with casual sex that ranged between mediocre (which means "good") and great. I was happy and I thought that the women I dated were also happy but, eventually, it felt like something was missing.
I was about 34 years old when I had that realization. This required discussion with a most trusted member of the opposite sex. I called Lynn and suggested that we meet for dinner that Friday night. She had really, truly been my most trusted confidant and we had been best friends since forever. She was two years younger than me and had been divorced for 4 years after a relatively brief marriage to Gary that did not produce any children.
We met at one of the many wonderful restaurants in St. Augustine. "So what's wrong with the stud's life?" she said a bit sarcastically as we were being seated at our favorite Italian restaurant.
"What's with the attitude?" I responded.
"Well, Jack, you have this series of meaningless encounters with bimbos who are eager to suck and swallow and probably even do the back door stuff that I've only read about in Cosmo and you obviously get more sex than you can possibly handle and now you're wondering why your life is meaningless while I haven't gotten laid since I left Gary and I'm wondering why life seems to be meaningless. Aren't you smart enough to figure it out?" she asked.
"Why do you think all I have is meaningless encounters?" I retorted.
"Okay. The last three girls you dated - was it Linda, Millie, and Susan? - tell me where they were born. Or their father's first names. Or what their dreams were. Can you?"
"Well, uh . . .." was the most intelligent response I could formulate.
"Listen, maybe I shouldn't be so rough on you. Part of me is jealous. Do you realize how long it's been since I had sex? The last time I did it, Eisenhower was the president, that's how long!" she falsely declared. We both laughed.
"No, I didn't know," I responded, "except that you just told me you hadn't gotten laid since you left Gary, so . . . I guess I should offer my condolences."
"Well, if I had gotten laid, I would have told you. It's not that I don't get any offers, but . . . you know what they call a girl who has sex with as many different people as what you've had? Slut, whore, easy, tramp, cum bucket . . . you get the idea. So I don't jump into bed with a guy on the first date and most of those losers decide to not invest in a second date since they didn't get to fuck me on the first date."
"Have you considered," I began tentatively, "buying one of those battery operated things?" It was my turn to laugh and Lynn quickly joined in.
"For your information, some girls are raised differently than guys. Maybe those sluts you hang with are different, but good girls are told to save ourselves for marriage, that touching ourselves is wrong, that only low born, ignorant gutter sluts own sex toys, and . . . we proper ladies end up being a bit more inhibited than you guys, so . . . no, I haven't considered it."
"I guess my problems don't seem very significant compared to yours," I meekly admitted.
"It doesn't matter how many problems other people have. If you've got a problem . . . you've got a problem. And right now, I would say I've got a problem and you've got a problem."
"Got any suggestions?" I asked.
"I need to get laid and you need to meet someone you can settle down with for a long term relationship but none of that's gonna happen tonight, so . . . let's just go back to your place and get drunk."
"Damned good idea!" I eagerly agreed.
We finished dinner and drove back to my apartment. We decide to watch a movie and drink margaritas. We sat on opposite end of the sofa and watched what I initially believed was a bad movie. It was about a Mexican brother and sister who are kidnapped and forced to have sex while their kidnappers video the encounter for later blackmail use against the father. The plot was thin and the action was slow and I was about to change the channel when they got to the big forced sex scene between the brother and sister and suddenly it got pretty damned hot.
As soon as the big sex scene was finished, Lynn started acting sleepy and she turned so that her back was against the arm of the sofa and her legs were up on the sofa cushions. Initially, her legs were lying flat on the cushions but after her fourth margarita, Lynn had pulled her feet back towards her so that her knees were raised up. She was wearing a skirt but her legs were together and she was not revealing herself in any way.
As the movie slowed down and the alcohol kicked in, Lynn was getting more and more drowsy. As she started to doze off, her right leg crept over to lie against the sofa back and her left leg dropped to lie on the seat cushion. She was essentially in a kicking frog position and it had the effect of exposing her panties to me.
Making sure that her eyes were really closed, I looked down at her panties. They were white and very lacy, very feminine, and . . . one other thing . . . I saw the outline of her pussy lips and I thought I saw a wet spot towards the bottom of her slit. I knew I shouldn't be taking advantage of the situation by looking but . . . I'm a guy and I couldn't help myself.
I remember briefly fantasizing about Lynn being so intoxicated that I could remove her panties without her waking. I knew that would be the wrong thing to do, but I really wanted to see her pussy. Her cunt lips were so pronounced that I assumed that she shaved her pubes and, she was such a sweet girl, I just assumed that her pussy would smell - and taste - just as sweet as honey.
I got off the sofa and knelt beside her. "Sweetie, you're passing out. You can't drive home tonight so you just need to stay here. Let's get you into my bed and I'll sleep on the sofa tonight."
"Huh?" she muttered as she opened her eyes. After a few seconds, she noticed the position of her legs. "Not the most ladylike position for a conversation with a gentleman," she laughed. "I hope you enjoyed the show!"