I got the call from my sister at six this morning, Mum had passed away, now both our parents were dead. Dad had died just last month, now Mum heartbroken had simply switched her life off to join him.
She had refused all medication and barely ate, she had lost the will to live and just stole away in the night. Jess, my sister had been there, but I had walked away too hurt to stay. With both parents gone my anchors in life had started to drift.
Jess and I hadn't been close since our teens, we had fallen out big time and never really recovered what had been, until then, a stable and happy childhood. The fracture was not instant it had been brewing for a while, but it was violent, shouting accusations at each other, exchanging verbal and physical blows and then long brooding, simmering silences. Now we had no one else but ourselves.
Neither Jess or I had found a partner, we each seemed to prefer our own company. Yes we had friends, well I assume, like me, Jess had a small group of trusted people that she called friends.
We had no other family that we knew of, both Mum and Dad were only children, a strange thing for their generation where with the war and depression, two, three or four brothers and sisters were the norm. In our turn we were expected to wed and raise the two point four children expected of Mr and Mrs Average.
I lay in bed, wondering what to do. Since Dads death, I had to return to our parents home, but, except for the funeral, had not visited at the same time as Jess was there, tacitly arranging things so we were never there together. Mum said nothing but she had lost everything and what was left was too fractured to heal.
The funeral was a bleak windswept affair at the local crematorium and only we three and a few friends attended. The Priest was perfunctory, none of us were regular attendees, so the service was quick and almost bland. We huddled outside to look at the flower tributes, then slunk away to have tea and sandwiches at the village hall, before the others feeling they had put in the required time also slipped away.
Mum had to he helped in and out, crying silently into her hankie. Jess one side me the other. We stood in the car park, looking at the small group of friends and well wishers. Then we simply mumbled a few thank you's and Jess took Mum home, as I returned to work. This was no real wake or celebration of Dads life, the reality was it simply ended at the crematorium.
I showered and dressed quickly, skipped breakfast for the drive to the hospital. As usual it was a mayhem of relatives and staff, all heading in different directions and criss crossing each other. Eventually. I found the ward and was ushered into a side room. Mum lay peacefully still, hands crossed on her small frame. Jess sat by her side, but stood to allow me to sit next to the bed. I put my hand on mums, feeling her cooling heat.
I mumbled a few thoughts, remembering the good times and then rose in tears to leave. As I did, Jess moved to me and without thinking I took her in my arms. We hugged tightly as the tears flowed. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out with a chisel, There was a gaping wound in my chest and it hurt. I howled and howled, as Jess held me and silently wept. I ran my hand over her hair pulling her head into my shoulder.
"Sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry, I love you and I miss you so much..." I managed to gasp.
Jess shooshed me and ran her hand over my head as she reached on tiptoe to hold me. I realised her effort and hunched slightly to allow her to put her feet firmly on the ground. She held me tight for what seemed like hours, but wasn't. Finally I relaxed my hold and she stepped back, her hands running around the sides of my face. I reached for her hand.
"We have to arrange another funeral, and we'll need to sort the house out, can you get time off for a while?"
"Of course Dave, I'll speak to the office and take some leave, we'll have a lot to deal with. I need to sort out a place temporarily, I can't stay at home on my own, not now, not with Mum gone."
"Stay with me I have a spare bedroom, please, I really want to make things up to you, I was a bastard and I know it. I knew it then but couldn't deal with it, I'm so sorry to have hurt you so much. Please stay with me!"
"OK, OK, of course I will, we need to talk about what's happened and also what happened back then. I think we owe it to ourselves to sort things out. For their sake, as much as ours, it would be what they would have wanted."
I nodded and leaned in to kiss her cheek, she let me and pecked mine. We hugged again then looked back at Mum.
"Bye Mum, we love you, so much, find Dad and be happy. We're going to be alright, we promise"
Jess sobbed and I put my arm around her shoulder, we held each other again. Then with a sigh we separated and holding hands walked out of the room. We made arrangements with the ward sister and she gave us another copy of the little booklet which detailed what would happen next and included the numbers of organisations we needed to contact. Much of it was still fresh in my mind from Dad's death a month ago.
I followed Jess in her car to Mum and Dad's, where I checked through the post and discarded the junk mail. Jess came downstairs with a suitcase and I carried it out to the car.
"Jess, there's not a lot of parking spaces at my place. Would you be prepared to leave your car on the drive here and come with me?"
"OK, sounds like a plan. If I need the car you can drop me off here."
I nodded, "Deal,"
We laughed and I put her case in the boot, seeing how she skipped to the passenger side and jumped in. I got in and keyed the engine to life then pulled on my seat belt and looked in both directions, before pulling out onto the road. I smiled as I caught Jess in the edge of my vision.
"What?"
"What?"
"You smiled as you looked at me."
"Why not, you're looking good."
"Same old Dave, you'll never change."
"Well you haven't changed, you look fantastic, do you exercise or what?"
"Ha! like I have time for that, no I just work hard six days a week."
"Wow! what are you doing now that takes up six days of your week."
"I'm a detective in the Met Police, major incidents and stuff."
"Bloody hell! Jess, I'd never had you pegged as a policewoman, aren't you too pretty?"
"Don't you start, I have enough with the crew at work. I've worked hard to get where I am, I didn't shag my bosses to get a leg up and I don't date anyone I work with."
"Whooo! OK, I get the message. Do you like what you do?"
"Yeah, I get a real buzz out of nicking scumbag shits, and knowing they're going to be off the streets hopefully for a long while."
"So are you a DC or what?"
"DCI, I take it they never told you?"
"Detective Chief Inspector, holy shit! you're a ranker, I'd better call you Ma'am."
"Ha! so what do you do?"
"I'm in aah! well I'm sort of working for the Government."
"Is my big brother a spook?"
"No, no, not really, well sort of, look it's nothing really, I do a lot of analysis stuff, boring really, just basic Intel and stuff. That's all, nowhere as glamorous as my little sisters job."
"So where are you based?"
"Well, it's just a big Government department, out in the west side of the City."
"You're in MI5 aren't you?"
