I couldn't wait for just that to happen, and dropped her carefully to the toilet seat. I needed a coffee now, desperately, and asked the girls to join in. Sylvia just nodded approving, Renate meant she was still full of vim, and that there was no need for worrying about a late coffee, she would like to have a cup with us before running for her bed. She probably was right, for her it would still be a very short night.
I left the girls with the job and made my way to the neat kitchen, stocked the coffee maker and looked for mugs to bring over to the living room. A lot of unanswered questions swirled through my brain as I realized that Renate would leave for her bed soon, resulting in those delicate services would be mine to handle then, at least all night and most of the day. I caught myself sweating whilst realizing what all that meant for Sylvia, likewise for me. This would lead to a full-day care, no - I had to correct myself... to a 24/7 care - Renate couldn't be around during the day because of her nine-to-five job, and at nights would need some sleep as well. So it would be just me to take care of Sylvia, no family around to help out, and the friends I knew about had to work for a living, too.
I couldn't, and wouldn't let Sylvia down, and I'm already retired, well... all that obviously pointed directly to me, and just me. But how would Sylvia feel with a task at hand she wasn't really prepared for? She by herself wasn't able to lift the hem of her skirt in the back, let alone lower her panties, she even couldn't pull her panties out of the way whilst peeing. Did she already realize what she would have to go through the next time she'd need to take a leak?
Sure, I'd be able to deal with that unproblematic, but what about her? How would she think and feel about being served like that by me, a man, even considering that there was no alternative? There wouldn't be any help available other than mine through the next days. We certainly were close friends, and tonight she'd confessed that she loved me, but through 'our' years she'd always been coyly, a shy deer. Tonight's sudden transubstantiation into a sensuous, loving woman had caught me off guard anyway, though it was fascinating, and most lovely of course. But... friendship/love is one heart warming feeling; being forced by the circumstances to make use of such an intimate service might turn out to be a totally different story.
I sighed deeply, knowing that I wouldn't come to a conclusion, not right now, with no solid ground under my feet... from now on we would wade in deep water, entering new territory with each and every step, and my every move would require to be thoroughly preconceived. This... my wonderful woman had shown her needs openly, but still she was frangible, though she seemed to be determined to start her, or our new life, but what if she overrated herself in the momentary grip of enthusiasm?
Trapped in my solicitude I didn't perceive Renate before she closed her arms around my waist from behind, "What's about this deep sigh, dear? Deep thinking?"
I nodded, and turned around, hugging her tightly, "Thank you dear, thank you for coming by... yes, my head is swirling. I... I don't... I'm so unsure how to start our new life without making a false move that could ruin everything we fought so hard for, all three of us in common. I'm soo concerned, even more than ever before through the last years, though I should jubilate with happiness. See, back then we had a road, though a rough one to go on, we had a plan how to move forward, to search for the light at the end of the tunnel, to help her back into real life... but now, right now? We have our love, but else know about nothing, everything has changed from yesterday to tonight. Every step will be a step on new ground now, and I'm afraid we could trip. You've known Sylvia for so long, Renate, and you'll be aware that this wonderful girl is still so fragile - what if I fail, if I'm not good enough to find our way, if I'm not good enough for her?" I kissed her forehead, and whispered into her hair, "Renate, dear... my heart would break if I'd lose her."
"You should tell me something I didn't know before, my dear," she murmured, "You mustn't be concerned Bernd, though you wouldn't be you if you weren't. You are a wonderful man, and you won't fail, you're too sensitive to make a false move, please trust me like you trust our little girl. I just had a talk with her, and she told me... asked me almost the same in her own words; she's aware that the next days won't be easy for you two, but I saw in her eyes that she's more than just confident. You won't lose her, darling, no way! Sylvia loves you, she loves you even more than she's aware now," she looked up to me and smiled, "I could have told her that two years earlier. And she's determined - you will know what that means - to not lose you." Her sweet smile grew wider, though tears welled in her eyes, "I'm so happy, I'm more than happy for you two..." she sobbed quietly, "...and moved to tears like never before." She grabbed my hand and shoved me towards the door, "...and now pick her up before we're drowned out of the kitchen, meanwhile I'll serve the coffee."
I couldn't help but turn back to her and kiss the tip of her nose, she tasted salty, and I smiled into her eyes, "You're a great friend, darling, thanks for enlightening my day... ahem, night."
Our great friend, and beautiful woman tittered lowly; then all of a sudden something mysterious happened and her eye expression changed in a manner I had never witnessed before... they grew unbelievable soft and Renate hugged me to her breast, resting her cheek high on my chest, our eyes still glued on each others. A warm wave of endearment trailed all through my chest, my left arm came up, round her neck to hold her left shoulder and she gave a deep sigh, "Oooh... Berrnnndd..." a few tears escaped her beautiful eyes, slowly trickling down along both sides of her neat snub nose, and I raised my right hand to tenderly wipe them off her left cheek, before it sneaked beneath the silky softness of her dark blond, shoulder-length hair to caress her nape. A cute sniffle, and another deep, lonnnngg sigh escaped her now slightly quaking lips, "Oooh... sooo good..." her wonderful soft, small hands trailed down on both sides of my spine what caused me to arch my back and moan lowly. She gasped with the sudden pressure of my belly against hers, and pressed her awfully soft front into mine to hold full contact down to our bellies when I straightened again, she gave one more gentle moan, "...so good Bernd...sooo good, please don't stop darling... please hold me for a moment, just hold me like this...you feel soo good on me..." I bent down and let my lips brush along hers, her hold on my back tightened roughly as if she wanted to seep into me, I was just about to embrace her tender, quivering body and conquer her sweet lips......
'--RING--!!!' ...a noisy alarm in my head ripped me out of my trance. I lurched back, utterly bewildered, fiercely panting whilst struggling to regain my countenance, and some common sense; neither of us moved during the minute I needed. Renate's hands had slipped to my flanks as I had backed away, her arms were outstretched now but she made no attempt to pull me close again; our eyes were still locked, Renate's wide open, gazing into mine like transfixed, a flash of panic rushed over their longing expression. My arms had fallen down, I raised them to cup her damp cheeks... slowly, carefully to let her the option to flinch if she'd feel like it, but she didn't, instead she nestled her left cheek into my right palm whilst her eyes softened again, and she let out a deep, contented sigh when my left hand caressed her other cheek.
I sighed likewise, "So much trust - still? I thank you my darling, and... please, please forgive me, Renate."
"Forgive you, Bernd?" She replied quietly, her sweet voice disbelieving, "...forgive you for your trust in me, or for showing me your respect? Or... for allowing me to revel in your warmth, your tenderness, your endearment? Forgive you for letting me feel like a beautiful, desirable woman; or - even worse... for being loved?" She shook her head, slowly, and drowned her eyes in mine, "...and - wanted?"
"No, ohgawd NO!!" I blurted out, before adding in my normal voice, "But... I... Good lord, Renate! I almost came within striking distance of losing my self-control, and..."
Renate interrupted me shrugging (I tried to overlook the heart warming effects... I really tried, but lost out... my eyes vetoed.), "...and...? Listen, Bernd - I was far beyond this point, already... but you trod the brake in time, thank God - so what?" Before I could even think about a reply she added frowning, "Geeze... that's alike a Déjà Vu - though it shouldn't change to the force of habit. I couldn't handle that... not long term, Bernd!" A flash of desperation roamed over her big wide eyes before it was replaced by an almost heart rending longing as she gave a shivering sigh, "If only we'd have an hour..."
I pulled my trembling girl close, abruptly, almost roughly, and stilled her with my lips, before I chided, my voice stern though scratchy, "NO!! No-no-no my love... not this way my love!"
Oops - and there it was! The one word that should have remained hidden, under cover - The L-Word. In the open. On the top shelf, bathed in numerous spotlights, and it mocked us. And I had been the stupid who allowed it to escape. Grandiose!