It was a silly thing to do, I admit it. But it had seemed reasonable at the time. It was partly the fault of the weather, of course. It was hot and muggy and the air conditioner wasn't working properly, so I was sleeping in the altogether to try to stay cool.
In the morning I didn't bother to get dressed straight away. It wasn't as if anyone could see me walking around the apartment nude. I'd set the table for some breakfast, but before I sat down for it I wanted the newspaper.
The paper is always dropped off early. All I had to do was open the door, grab it and close the door and I really couldn't be bothered getting dressed just for that. So I took the chance.
I opened the door slightly and looked out. There was no-one around and all I had to do was take a step, grab the paper, and step back. Easy.
So I took that single step, bent down and grabbed the newspaper and there was a cat attack.
Ever seen how a cat will suddenly seem to go berserk and charge all around the place at full bore? I mean, they go from lying motionless to a streak of lightning in nothing flat. This cat, which can ease through the house silent as a ghost, is suddenly stampeding and sounding like a small elephant running amuck.
Even as I was bending down to grab the paper I heard the crashing sound of little cat paws running wild and then there was a crash as he used the door as a springboard to give him a start in a different direction.
The door gave me a start in a different direction, too. The impetus imparted on the cat caused the door to slam, incidentally banging onto my bottom as it did so. The sudden push on my bum while I was bending over sent me flat onto my face with a startled yelp.
I scrambled to my feet (with newspaper in hand) and dived back through the door. Or I would have dived back through the door if it had opened. The damn thing had automatically locked itself when it closed and I was on the outside and my key was on the inside.
Naturally, that was when the man in the unit across from mine opened his door to see what was going on. What was going on was me standing there naked and pushing at my door and swearing.
"Have a problem, do we?" the swine asked, and I could hear the laughter in his voice.
"Um, I'm locked out," I said.
I was still facing the door. No way was I going to turn around and face him. You're probably wondering why I just didn't unfold the damned paper and hide behind that. Huh! The way they roll those up and plastic seal them you need a pair of scissors to open them. I could just see myself dancing around nude while trying to tear open the plastic with my teeth.
"Do you think you can ring the caretaker to come up and open my door, please?" I asked.
"Sure," he says. "No problem. Don't you think you'd better step into my flat while you wait? I'm sure you don't want to wait there like that, with people likely to come past at any time. And you won't really want to meet the caretaker dressed like that. I'll even let you have a dressing gown as soon as you've had a shower."
While he was yacking away he had taken my arm, quite politely, just a touch of his fingers at my elbow, and turned me towards his open door. Quite frankly, I was delighted to get out of the hall and away from potential witnesses.
I was a little confused, though.
"Thank you," I said, "but I don't really need a shower right now."
"Oh, I didn't mean right now," came the reply. "I just thought you might need one after."
"After what?" I asked, instead of just ignoring his silly hints.