Introduction -
The Church I grew up in has changed over the years with the times. America has finally started to catch up with Europe's long held viewpoint that sex is simply a beautiful, natural part of life. This is the story of a church staying with the times, and perhaps moving ahead of them. By the way, if you think sex and prayer don't mix, think again...
Chapter 1 -
Pastor Jan took a deep breath and looked down at the pulpit...
"Friends, I have spoken from the pulpit and with many of you privately, about God's view of intimacy within marriage. Love within a marriage can be expressed in many ways: Conversation, support, understanding, shared experiences, holding hands, and sexually. In my role consulting couples and singles about sexual morality, a few of you have mentioned that your mind can wonder with something as simple as an affectionate hug. Sometimes to the point of having a sexual thought about the person you shared a hug with. That is perfectly normal. We are, after all, human." It warms my heart when I see our church members share a reassuring hug."
"Lately I have been reading more about sexual boundaries, specifically within the family of the church. I have always encourage open and guilt free sexual expression within marriage. God smiles on those of us that share the gift of sexuality with their spouse. Sexual love brings two people together in a very special intimate way."
"With that in mind, I want to talk with you today, as a congratulation, about sexuality outside of marriage. Our sex drives and desires can be strong. It is a basic instinct that God has created in us. It is just as natural a drive as hunger and sleep. After much reading and prayer, I have come to the conclusion that we were never intended to remain celibate until marriage. Our desires totally contradict that belief. Would someone who is hungry refuse food because of a taught restriction against eating? Of course not. In private counseling sessions with our single members and young people I have been asked many times about God's view of, and well, I'm going to say it out loud...about God's view of Masturbation. I'll give all of you a moment here... I'm sure that most of you didn't come here today expecting your Pastor to speak so frankly from the pulpit. As it turns out, most of the people around you right now either A, have a sexual partner, or B, satisfy their God given desires through self love, or more specifically, Masturbation. For a few of you, sexual desire is not a part of your life. That is normal too. We are all different, unique, and just the way God intended us to be."
"As your Pastor, and with the support and voted on approval of our members, we have established our church as 'Open and Accepting' of all of God's children. We have a LGBTQ rainbow color flag proudly displayed on our building as a symbol of our acceptance. I fear that for some churches, flying the rainbow flag is just trendy, or worse yet, a device to increase membership. Those churches have LGBTQ visitors, but their visitors soon realize the true nature of the congratulation and are not seen again. Our gay and lesbian visitors tend to keep coming back, and are welcomed here. That is a strong indication that our "straight" members truly have open hearts and minds. I am proud of that. I just can't see a reason why gay and lesbian people cannot be a part of God's community. The Bible has few references to homosexuality. Throughout history the Bible has been edited, with passages rewritten and pages torn out by Kings, Monarchs, Dictators, and Emperors. I think this was done mostly to grow the population of their own kingdoms by making procreation mandatory. Of course, gay and lesbian sexuality, for the most part, does not result in procreation. To further enforce the commands of the formerly mentioned "Rulers", homosexual sex was labeled as "unnatural". Personally, I can't understand what is unnatural about a man having sex with a man or a woman having sex with a woman. I personally think that God is delighted to see his children showing every kind of consensual affection to each other. As I mentioned, I have consul many of our members privately, and homosexual desires within our community are more common than you might think."
"If we are accepting and indeed approving of homosexual love, which we indeed are, then perhaps it might be a good time to look at some of our other traditional beliefs."
"To that end, I, as your Pastor, would like to ask each and every one of you to search your heart and soul and consider your held beliefs about sex outside of marriage. What I'm talking about goes back to the warm hugs many of you share after service, and the private confession by some of you that it brought about thoughts of sexuality. We are human, and God has given us the gift of sexuality. Sex is beautiful. Let me say it again: Sex is beautiful."
Most of us harbor insecurities about our appearance. We are all unique in our appearance. Tall, short, thin, heavy, attractive, or not so much. None of that matters. True sexual attractiveness is not about appearance, but about the attractiveness of one's mind. A positive sexual attitude is hugely attractive. I have personally found some of the 'plainest' looking people I have met very attractive because they are comfortable within themselves.
"Would we, as a Church, consider accepting sexuality outside marriage as proper? I'd like to suggest that in all of my studies, reading and conversations, the possibility not only exists, but is encouraged by God. God smiles on all acts of consensual sexual expression. For those of you within a marriage that possibility must, of course, include the consent and total support of your spouse. Allowing yourself and your spouse to express long hidden desires will should in a strengthening of your marriage and commitment to each other."
So, I would like to propose that our church mission statement include the following: "We, as a community of faith, welcome the free expression of consensual sexual love within our community."
"I think I have given you enough to think about for one day. Some of you will feel repulsed at such a notion. Some of you will be accepting, but will want to maintain your personal lifestyle as is. Some of you might find the notion of taking a warm hug with someone to the next level an attractive possibility."
I have not met many people who have been truly offended by the offer of affection, and perhaps sexual love. Some people respond to such an approach with a welcoming attitude. Some people seem taken aback at such an offer. But friends, let me assure you, regardless of the reaction, most people are flattered by such attention. They just might not let you know. Woman in particular, have been taught to play "hard to get." We have done our sisters in faith a great disservice.
"The gift of sexuality is one of the greatest blessing that God has bestowed upon us. It is time to rethink what we have been taught."
"Let us pray..."
"Dear Lord, bless us while we open our hearts and minds to reconsider our own viewpoints about sexuality. Our minds have been bombarded with messages, since we were young, that sexual desire is something to be ashamed of and that sex is 'dirty'. I pray that we, as a congregation of faith, have our hearts and minds washed and purified of all negative thoughts. Embarrassment about one's own body and thoughts of shame and guilt have no place in the lives you intended us to lead, and enjoy. Amen.
Chapter 2 -
Service let out and the congratulation slowly filed out of the sanctuary into the adjacent fellowship hall and nearby lobby. It was time to catch up with each other since last Sunday, and to enjoy some coffee and donuts. Familiar conversation groups of two or more formed. Friends greeting friends. Newcomers being welcomed. Some of the conversations seemed a bit hampered by what Pastor Jan had preached. A bit of awkward silence, a quiet nervous laugh here and there. Some other conversations were more in keeping with the friendly exchanges heard every Sunday after service. And yes, the friendly hugs too. Perhaps the Pastors words resonated with some of the congregation.
I grabbed a cup of coffee and started to mill about when I turned and was face to face with Paula. Paula is a single mom who had been in the church for a long time. She was always quick with a smile and a warm hug.
"Hey Paula, how are you doing?"
"Hey Jerry, good to see you again. I'm good. How about you?"
"Me too."
Paula asked me, with a bit of a laugh, "Were you able to stay awake for the sermon today?"
"Yes (laughing). It was a lot easier today. What about you?"
"Oh, no problem at all...not at all."
"So, what did you think about all of that Paula?"
"Well, you know me well enough to know I'm an easy going, go with the flow type, just like yourself. I think that's why we get along so well. I kinda liked what Pastor Jan said."
"Yea, I guess I did too. I'd like to think she might have spoken for a lot of people today."
"Well, I gotta tell you Jerry, it worked for me."
"I liked it too."
Paula smiled and gave me another hug, but this time a bit longer and warmer, slowly stepping back and lettering her right hand slowly slide off of my shoulder.
She looked down at first, then glanced up a bit with just a bit of blush in her face. "Sorry, I didn't mean too..."
I took her hand in mine until she looked up. "That was nice, don't be sorry."
