I left Chris' room without much further discussion. As I was making my way back toward my room the enormity of what just happened started to hit me. After that workout, the alcohol was worn off and I was starting to be filled with doubts and concern. I checked my phone to see if there were text or calls—especially from my husband Mark. I couldn't tell if I was relieved or not when I saw no new text, but then it also put me into a decision. What do I do now? It's almost 1 a.m., which makes it 2 a.m. back home. I had just gotten fucked by another man and, even though Mark knew, he's going to want information and details. That was always a part of this idea for him.
Still, I hadn't even had time to process it. I was still reliving the sex, but also feeling lost without Mark and unsettled by the whole thing. Yes, I enjoyed it. Yes, Mark said that if I could let go then I would, but then what? How could I tell my dear husband that I gave myself to another? That I wanted him to use me and that he did. How could I confess that I wanted to please him and that in doing so I was pleasured myself—several times over? On and on my mind went until I came to a compromise conclusion for the night. I text Mark when I got into my room, "I am back safe and alone in my room for the night. That it was nice but I'd like to talk details tomorrow. Love you and hope you're ok." Immediately Mark text back, "Good. I love you." Never had those words from him meant more to me as I drifted to sleep.
The next morning, I was more composed. I was comforted my Mark's text and getting a little sleep helped me. Thinking about it I realized that the only thing I really did was have some fun with my husband's prompting and blessing. I didn't commit capital murder and so with a long shower and a fresh mind I felt, better. I mean, it feels good to have been really fucked well. It lasts a day or two and today was certainly that kind of day. So, with a few check-in text with Mark and an time set for us to talk later that day, I was feeling good by the time I got down to breakfast. To be fair, I was only living under the rules men have lived by since the beginning of time. If I wanted and enjoyed sex and my partner gave his blessing, why should I, as a woman, be in some category of self or public shame. Again, I could hear Mark's words echo in my mind and he was right.
I was just finishing up breakfast when I got a text from Chris. It read, "Hi there. I hope you or all is ok. That you're not going to shoot daggers at me today. If you're coming to my seminar it finishes at lunch and if you are open to it then I'd like to talk and check in after. Please say yes."
"Huh," I thought, "that's a bit odd of a way to say good morning the day after we smashed." I wondered if I was back to dating rules and all the bullshit that went with it. Then I reminded myself that I wasn't. I could do whatever I wanted here. As I was reflecting on what to say I also started to think back about last night. "Damn it was good!" I quietly purred under my breath. Then I shot a casual text back, "ok."
Chris was in full command on stage. He talked about his product, made the right jokes and just strutted his stuff. I was back to a swoon moment for him while admiring him in his element. Damn he was hot and I was just all over him a matter of hours ago. Still, with his weird text, I put a lid on my imagination not knowing what was going to come next from him.
