She was half an hour late for dinner. Her friend hadn't invited that many people to their birthday dinner, and she felt bad for probably being the last to arrive.
She made a big entrance, apologised charmingly, and sat down quickly, only to realise that someone else was standing behind her. He had arrived at the same time and had been watching her big scene.
He took the last available seat, the one in front of her, at the very end of the table. He was good-looking, tall, broad-shouldered, with perfect symmetric features and a cute freckled nose. She noted these aspects in the least possible fraction of time, and that was enough for her to assess that she was attracted to him. For that reason, she immediately put her guard up. She deliberately avoided looking directly at him, as if it would burn her to do so. At the same time, she took note of his smallest movements with her side vision while looking at everyone else and goofing happily.
As soon as he opened his mouth, it became clear to her that he was a dangerous guy, trying a little to impress her while chatting with the closest people. The danger was that he was very charming and completely aware of it.
She noticed he was dressed in a boring office style, but his clothing was just a little bit tight. That somehow worked in his favour, being weirdly sexy. The fact she didn't like the outfit made her imagine ripping his white shirt open without bothering to unbutton it, which felt a little over the top and made her defences flare again.
He started telling details of his past love life, such as the fact that he had stayed in this city for a girl, but when that relationship ended, he had a steady job and was already fond of living there, so he ended up staying anyway. He made a silly, supposedly manly, joke about seeing many women simultaneously, but it sounded a little hollow.
She looked straight at him with raised eyebrows and a smirk, making him feel ridiculous. She was more looking through him than at him.
Holding her stare, he paused and quickly backtracked. "I'm just kidding; I'm quite a nice guy." And he smiled a very charming smile.
She thought he might be nice, but he still felt very dangerous. The danger was now that he had made a point of letting her know he was single.
"I'm not here to judge your life choices," she said, smiling back with evident irony. He laughed, and it felt vertiginous to her.
The night progressed with friendly conversation, heavy drinking and loads of cheers. They were all feeling merry and young.
They went dancing, and everyone was so kind and beautiful that she felt like hugging and kissing them all. They danced the night away.
When morning came near and they were too tired to carry on, everyone gave each other big hugs and sweet cheek kisses, as good friends do.
As she hugged this guy, she let him almost lift her from the floor. While they pressed their bodies together gently, she felt her own right hand slide from the back of his neck to the top of his head, cradling his face against her neck as they said goodbye.
This hand gesture carried the weight of a lover's caress and made her stomach sting with longing. She didn't intend to do it; it just happened so naturally. She wondered if he had noticed what this seemingly innocent gesture truly meant. And she couldn't help but wonder what would have happened next if they weren't in the middle of a crowd.
For weeks the impression of him would pop into her mind, but fuck, she could not remember his fucking name. Because of this, she couldn't find him easily on her friend's social networks, though she did try without success. She just wanted to stare at his face, unobserved, and search her feelings. A photograph would do nicely.
Instead, she had to invoke his face in her memory, but it came in a flash and immediately went away, replaced by the image of their goodbye embrace, of both his arms around her waist and her hand sliding up the back of his head.
She was sure he was not a nice guy. Nice to hang out with, sure, but not nice to date. So, she remained silent and still.
A month later, her friend asked her to come out and play. They would simply go for drinks.
She couldn't help but hope the guy was there too. But she had hung out with this friend so many times without ever meeting this guy before that she figured there was not a huge chance of seeing him again that night.
But there he was.
And as she arrived late again, she heard her friend say to the guy, "See, there she is," as if he had been asking about her.
The night went on with a lot of drinking and nice, clean fun. Those were nice people, nice friends, a nice place.
All was good in the world, and like always, when she felt like this, there was such a tenderness growing in her heart that she could hug and kiss the whole world. But to be very specific, she truly wanted to hug and kiss that one person.
There had been banter going back and forth between them all night, but her friends knew her, she was normally charming and liked to tease everyone regardless of second intentions. So they didn't make much of it or pay any special attention to the tension growing between the two.
She still didn't trust him much, as she didn't know him well and had too many trust issues. So, despite being flirty, she kept a certain distance.
She often did this and made a lot of people crazy with her mixed messages, but she couldn't help but fear what she desired.
As the night advanced and their friends started to give up and go home, she didn't feel ready to say goodbye yet. She pushed the last ones there for another drink.
And then there were three people and three beers. They were standing near the bar counter, chatting and goofing, exhausted but not giving up, eyes still sparking. That's when their friend suddenly gave up halfway through his beer and decided to leave immediately.
"We'll just finish these beers and leave, too. Text us when you get home," the guy said to their friend, smiling peacefully.
And then there were two, and she became very nervous. Alone with this guy she had been daydreaming about for a month but didn't trust.
They finished their beer, and he said, "I'm starving. Do you want some food?"
"Yes!" she replied honestly.
