"So that's all I have to say. Anyone one else?" I looked across at Helen my partner, who shook her head. She was my business partner, although we'd come close a couple of times to something else, both of us shying away at the last minute, fearful of damaging a great friendship. We'd known each other for twenty years, starting off at the same large firm of solicitors, then branching out on our own ten years ago, tired of the petty constraints brought about by a large firm.
We were both in our mid-forties now, and had taken a big chance on going solo, both of us were married with children and struggling with mortgages and school fees. It hadn't been easy, and I sometimes wondered if the long hours we put in together had been the cause of her marriage break up and subsequent divorce. My wife had died at about the same time and we'd supported each other through those trying times, only now starting to come out on the other side.
The firm was flourishing, we'd carved a niche for ourselves in the Family Law business, Trusts, Divorces and Wills were our speciality, and the firm had now grown to fifteen people, a mixture of Solicitors, Legal Execs and Legal Secretaries. It was a happy place to work, everyone got on, well mostly, and we felt like one big family, Helen and I had tried to foster that feeling, but most of the credit had to go to Jennifer, our Office Manager.
She was a young black woman, a couple of years our junior, who had taken a huge gamble and had jumped ship with us. She was technically a Legal Secretary, but with us she become chief cook and bottle washer, doing everything for us, typing, paying bills, keeping creditors from the door, even taking her turn cleaning the toilets. Ever smiling, no problem too big, she had become the mainstay of the firm, the glue that held everything together.
She didn't suffer fools gladly though, woe betide anyone who was late with their timesheets, or who had failed to bill their expected hours. I'd seen her chase men into the toilets demanding explanations, and one senior member of staff was heard to say one day, that when Jennifer walked down the office towards him, he felt like a chicken and she looked remarkably like Colonel Sanders. She was however generous to a fault, and she protected Helen and myself like a mother hen guarding her chicks.
I looked over to her for any input and she replied, "No Scott, nothing from me."
"Anyone else?" I looked over the assembled gathering, our regular Monday morning staff meeting, meeting mostly a sea of blank faces.
"Sorry Scott, just one thing," came from our newest member, in her East Coast American accent. She'd been with us for about nine months and was a Legal Exec. She had been a great hire in most respects, she had an acute brain with the ability to cut through extraneous matter straight to the core of the issue, and some of the insights she had were astounding. Both Helen and I commented that one day she'd be running the firm.
Regrettably that came with a rather brash attitude at times, an impatience with those who were a bit slower on the uptake and she'd ruffled a few feathers in the time she'd been with us. She was an attractive twenty-eight year old with short blond hair and a body to die for. It would be unfair to say she dressed provocatively, she conformed completely to the office dress code, no plunging necklines, no short skirts, but every red blooded man in the office knew that she exuded sex appeal. She knew it as well and wasn't afraid to use it to her advantage.
"Yes Anna, what is it?" That was one of the bones of contention, she preferred to be called 'AHnna' in the American manner, but pretty much everyone referred to her as 'Anna' with a short 'a', mostly just to wind her up. I tried to call her by her preferred pronunciation, but old habits die hard and I do admit to getting it wrong as often as I got it right.
"Are we doing anything about this Friday?" she asked.
"This Friday?" I echoed, "I wasn't aware of anything happening this Friday. Jennifer?" I raised one eyebrow in her direction, seeing her shake her head.
"Well it's National Nude Day, and in my last job in the States we always celebrated it."
"National Nude Day?" I queried, "Not heard of that over here. Is it what it sounds like?"
"Yes Scott, basically everyone comes to work naked for the whole day. Well you don't actually have to travel nude, that would be awkward to say the least on the subway, not to mention unhygienic, but once you're in the office everyone takes their clothes off and works naked for the day."
"That may be the case in the States, Anna," commented someone with a deliberate exaggeration of the short 'a', "but we don't do that sort of thing here."
"Well perhaps it's time you did!" retorted Anna.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I broke in, "Let's keep this civilised. What do the rest of you think about it? Anyone got any views?" Predictably there was no response. "Well that settles it Anna, there doesn't seem to be any interest."
"Sorry Scott, I don't think that's correct or fair. I know some would support the idea, but perhaps are afraid to stand up in public and say so. I think we should have a secret ballot on it."
I could have put my foot down and just said no, but we'd always tried to take people's views into consideration on non-business matters, dress code and the like and I reflected perhaps she had a point.
"OK, it's not the sort of thing Helen or I want to just impose, so by all means have a vote, Jennifer can you organise please, and we'll see what the outcome is. Neither Helen nor I will vote, but I promise we'll abide by the decision. However, given the nature of the question, I think that it would need to be a unanimous decision. OK? Right, let's get to work."
The meeting broke up and Helen and I walked back to our offices, which aside from a couple of meeting rooms were the only enclosed spaces in the premises. "That should have killed that." I murmured to Helen, "Ridiculous idea."
"You mean you don't want to see the delectable Anna stark bollock naked?" she asked, "Or me?"
"Don't be silly Helen, I really can't see anyone wanting to do that can you?" Helen was more philosophical on the outcome than me, but I put the whole thing to one side and got back to work.
I knew there was trouble afoot when Jennifer came into my office mid-afternoon followed by Helen. "You know that vote you agreed to Scott," she began, "well they've voted in favour." I sat back, staggered that I had misjudged my colleagues so badly.
"How?" was all I could get out of my mouth.
"Well Anna is a pretty persuasive person and she'd already got some of the key influencers on her side."
"Everyone? I said it had to be unanimous."
"I've had to do a bit of horse trading there." continued Jennifer. "Two were adamant that they'd not do it, and it was starting to get a bit fractious, so I've given them the option of taking a day's leave, or working from home. They've both decided to work from home, so in terms of the people who will be in the office on that day, it is unanimous."
"Except for Helen and me." A thought occurred to me. "How did you vote Jen?"
She looked me straight in the eye. "I voted for, because I've always wanted to see you with your kit off! No, in fact I sat down with Anna and spoke to her about why she was so keen on it. She admitted she'd been sceptical about it at first, but she said the improvement in office morale and overall friendliness afterwards was astounding."
I just sat there, my mind whirling. "OK, we'll go along with it, but I for one will not be in the office that day. Helen, what about you?"
"Scott, I really don't think we've got that option, you gave them their head, and democracy has spoken. They all look up to you and I think you need to be here that day. In the interests of supporting you I will also be here. In any event, I wouldn't mind seeing you with your kit off either!"
The three of us sat down and talked about the practicalities, Health and Safety Regulations, Fire Regulations and nothing seemed to be usable to stop it, so finally I had to admit defeat. "Perhaps I'll just stay in my office all day." I grumbled.
Thursday evening Helen came into my office, "Big day tomorrow then?"
"Helen I'm absolutely dreading it."
"Scott, don't forget I'll be naked as well."
"Yes, but you don't have.....erections to worry about, I can hardly wander around the office with nine inches of man meat sticking out in front of me can I?" Helen raised her eyebrows. "OK, I exaggerate slightly for effect, but it's a serious problem that will affect all the other men as well."
"I take your point," she smirked, "but we're saddled with it now, so we'll just have to get on with it."
"I'll pick you up tomorrow and give you a lift in, perhaps it would be good if we were both here early."
"OK, thanks Scott. See you tomorrow."
I pulled up outside her house the next morning, she was peering out the window and waved to acknowledge me, appearing shortly afterwards. As ever she was smartly dressed, a skirt and blouse with a nice jacket. I'd dressed in my usual suit, no tie, that was another one of the democratic decisions made, except for Client meetings, and there were certainly going to be none of those today.
