Some days I don't know who wakes up first, him or me, by him I mean Little Ted. Some mornings he lies in and I don't see sight nor sound of him till late on in the day, but some mornings I wake up and he's already bolt upright and ready and raring to go. This morning is one of those mornings.
I stumble into my boxers and walk downstairs and into the kitchen, I start to brew a pot of tea and put some bread under the grill, if I act and behave like its just another day maybe little Ted will go back to sleep. As I sit awkwardly eating my toast I realise he's not going to going to, no, not for love nor money. He is here to stay today!
He needs taking care of, then I can get on with my day. I walk into the study and switch on the computer, I give in. I connect to the Internet and open my favourites, directing my cursor to one of my favourite erotic literature sites. If that doesn't satisfy Little Ted nothing will.
Perusing the list of titles I see one that takes my fancy, Little Ted perks up at the idea too and then:
"beedly-boop"
"Oh crap!" I exclaim, "I forgot to switch off my messenger, bugger, bugger, bugger!"
In my frustration I don't even look to see who is messaging me.
"beedly-boop" there's another.
What's up this morning? Cat gotcha tongue?
Its Louise, I met her at a chat site a few months back and we've been chatting on and off ever since. Grudgingly I reply, I am too polite to just turn off Messenger and disappear.
I'm here sorry. Bit slow this morning.